Annoying Friend

[Ginger00]

Hello everyone, I am new on this so bear with me!

thought I'd get some advice from this dilemma 🙂

So 3 years ago I reunited with an old primary school friend (from prep to grade 2). It was good in the beginning and I'd thought we'd remain as regular friends however as time went on, she became somewhat fixated over me.

She would always call me her "best-friend", be overly attached to me, set notifications on for when I post on socials, send long cheesy paragraphs about our friendship to me, - it felt weird because I've never reciprocated the same feelings she had for me...and all sorts of things!

In casual conversations I would point out that I didn't feel the same way and just saw her as a regular friend.

She, however didn't take the memo and continuously did the same things which infuriated me. A few weeks ago, she said and I quote "Looks like your best friend won't be coming down to see you"...and went along with her "fairytale"of us lol (note she lives in a different state) and that was my last straw. I sent her paragraphs of everything that I've kept bottled up for years, I was assertive. She apologized but that only lasted a week before she became annoying again.

I blocked her on all socials just now and want it to keep it that way. This whole situation feels toxic. I am done talking to her about the situation, Im done being nice.

I don't know if what I did was right and I just need someone advice on this sticky situation :'(

Thank you for taking the time to read 😄

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

What is "right"? What you have done is right as it is your intolerance level with this person that distracted your action. With other people in a similar situation they might have handled it differently.

From children to adults people change. While it sounded a good idea at the time to make contact it not always works out.

Please read the first post of the following threads. Use Google

Beyondblue topic worry worry worry

Beyondblue topic guilt the tormentor

TonyWK

[Pumpkinella]

Hi Ginger00!

Thanks so much for posting. Does sound like a lot of pressure on a friendship doesn't it?

I think its good, and necessary, for you to set your own boundaries. You communicated how you felt and she hasn't been able to take that on board. I'm guessing she has difficulties herself - understanding where the boundaries lay and she might be a little attached to you in an unhealthy way. Perhaps you represent something she really desires and feels is missing in her life (I'm speculating of course as I don't know her).

My advice is to remain compassionate but firm. We can understand and be compassionate toward others, however, we must set our own boundaries. It will not be a genuine friendship if you begrudgingly allow this to continue. If you feel bad about blocking her on socials you can always send one communication telling her why and that you need to have your own space and that you wish her the best.

If you're not comfortable doing that, its okay too. You didn't do anything wrong and nothing we do is final anyway so this is what you need to do in the moment and you have been honest with her. I don't think there is much more a person can ask for.

This stuff is always awkward but I have found that compassion, honesty and being clear about what you need is always the way to go.

Love,

Pumps

[quirkywords]

Ginger,

welcome to the forum.

It is hard when a friend behaves in an annoying way. If the friend is affecting your health I think it is good to set boundaries.

Also by relying on you she may not be able to make other friends so by setting limits it may help her.
Thanks for reaching out.