am I dramatic for being upset over this?

[KA2007]

(for context, please read the other forums I’ve posted about my dad so maybe you can understand my feelings). 
I’ve just recently graduated high school and I’m incredibly burnt out. I put my all into year 12, as I owe it to my mum to get a good ATAR. I’m tired. So incredibly tired that I just want to rest. Unfortunately, I pushed back my entire life for year 12, like exercising and getting my P’s. Ever since school ended, I’ve been staying up late and waking up late. I don’t do much throughout day. I have applied and gotten a waitressing job, which I believe might set me back up into starting my life again. I just want to provide context before I get into why I’m so angry. Around 9:20 this morning, my sister bursts into my room and tells me to wake up without explaining why. I’m too groggy, so I fall back asleep. I walk up at 12pm, go downstairs to have breakfast, and my mum tells me my dad was locked out of the house for 20 minutes because me and my sister were dead asleep whilst he was outside. She told me that he yelled at her and my sister for a long time because of it. She told me that from now on, I have to wake up at 7 everyday and pray. I’ve never been interested in my families religion but if I tell them that, I’ll likely be kicked out. So I said okay. Later today, my family went walking but I didn’t feel like it so I stayed behind. Throughout the whole walk, my sister told me that dad was calling her fat the entire time and told her she needed to walk more, and told her that he wants her to tell me that I have to wake up early, pray, and go walking everyday or he’s gonna beat me up. my gripe is this, I’ve been busting my ass this whole year, put my life on pause to get the ATAR he wants me to have, and I’m burnt out. I understand that he thinks I’m throwing my life away but IM TIRED. It’s been less than a month since I’ve graduated so I think I deserve to sleep in a little and be a bit lazy before I start working and getting my p’s. All of this, because he was locked out of his own house. Does he not have a key? I don’t understand why he feels the need to threaten me to get my life together when he’s a hypocrite. He doesn’t even go to work anymore. He wants to be a “singer”. He gets people to work for him, and he splits his pay with them so we get the bare minimum. My mum doesn’t work. We rely solely on him for an income. And he fights with my mum saying she spends too much money, when all she does spend money on is groceries and the gifts she got for my birthday and graduation gifts. Yet he spends THOUSANDS of dollars on dumborah’s (a kind of guitar in my culture) to fuel his non-existent singing career instead of working for his family. I understand having dreams and passions, but he has a family he needs to work for. He can begin this singing career of his after his kids have full time jobs and has a down payment for retirement. He has the AUDACITY to fear monger me to get my life together not even a month after I graduate highschool (to which he never congratulated me, never attended the graduation dinner or events) when he’s throwing not only his life away, but making our family scrape by for a dream that’s likely not going to happen? Not to mention my sister didn’t deserve to be called fat and worthless that entire walk just because we didn’t open the door for him for 20 minutes. He sure is one idiot to talk. I realise I sound dramatic but I’ve had enough of him. I will get my life together at my own pace, after I sacrificed my mental, and physical health to get him the atar results that he wants.  

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

It's a testing time for you. It is a difficult post to reply to, so much to unpack and in reality there is two sides to this conflict and frustration and that means I have to also mention where your thinking processes could benefit from some twerking. 

My guess is you're 18yo or near it. That of course means you can vote, drive and all things adult. But your family members also have their own responsibilities and you pointed out one good one- your dad should have his own keys. We have a spare set under a place of the house so thats a good idea in case you lose your own keys.

As for him giving others money thats his decision as long as you have a roof over your head he has done his job. Try not to get involved in decisions your parents have their freedom to make including their squabbles with spending money. Yes its their sole income but at 18yo your role is to make your own money and carve out a future that you can decide on how you spend your earnings and then you would prefer others not judge how you spend it.

It's unfortunate that your dad didnt attend your graduation. Perhaps there's a disconnect there or he prefers his own hobbies but his relationship with you is determined by his own dedication and if it diminishes thats his fault. You cant beg for his devotion but also its no reflection on how much he loves you, Try not to mix up the two. It's also sad how he criticizes your sister for her weight.  It's the same situation. But you wont change his thinking. Best to accept that and answer in short ways like "weight shaming isnt a nice thing to do dad". 

The sleeping issue sounds minor, it's actually major. After you graduated if you had a job lined up the following week, you would have been required to rise from bed and leave for work early. Being at a young adult age rising shouldnt be that hard nor should you need to "recover" from one hard year of study. Unfortunately sleeping in is a product of teenage biology (eg growth spurts) however from older adults perspective it appears lazy especially if your recovery takes more than say 2 weeks or so.  I'm 69yo and when I built my own house 5 years ago I was fully exhausted when finished but it took only a few days to recover. Can you see what I'm eluding too? So an alarm is your friend even if you dont have any appointments and have breakfast, do chores and go for a walk. You admit to "staying up late" and thats where it all starts. Try taking off 2 hours and waking at 7:30am. Your mums demand that you rise at 7 is a reflection of them realising they have an issue with you sleeping in. Yes, a little too late to treat you like a child but this is all fixable anyway by rising early.

Ultimately having read your post a few times I think as soon as you become financially independent is for you and maybe your sister to move out and you might find your relationships with your parents will improve out of sight. Many young adults arent compatible with their parents and its not your fault nor theirs, it's how things end up.

You have done well this year no doubt. But life has a need for rebound which means not rewarding yourself too much for too long when the world is still moving forward. To remain in your household a blend of your own decisions and respecting your parents choices is the fine line that will bring harmony as well as pointing out to them your need for less treatment as a child but do it in a calm manner.

I hope that helps.

TonyWK