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Academic validation

KA2007
Community Member

I'm pretty good at school. I get good grades and it makes my parents happy. But that's it. I'm not good at anything else. I'm stupid and I can't do anything. In my culture, a women is expected to act proper and be good at cooking and cleaning. I'm not bad at those things, but I'm not good either. My mum likes to constantly say that I'm clumsy and stupid and I can't do anything. She says that I don't try hard enough. I'm getting to a point in school where the work is getting harder and too many things are happening at once. If I even tell my mum that I think I might get a B or a C on a test, exam, or assignment, she'll get mad at me and say that I'm not trying enough and that I'm being lazy. I'm stretching myself thin every day so that I can get the grades that she wants me to get but it's getting too much. I have to get good grades, because if I don't, I'm worthless. What am I even good for? I can't cook, I can't clean, I can't do basic things like unlocking my own car for gods sake because it's old and the key is weird. I'm so stupid and I'm so dumb that I can't do anything. My mum is an immigrant and her school and life was a lot harder than mine, so I even tell her that I'm even a little bit stressed she belittles me and tells me that my life is easy and I have nothing to worry about. I forget to do one thing she asks me too and she says that I'm stupid. I love her a lot it just makes me upset that she doesn't understand that I'm trying my best even if I'm the most dumbest daughter she could ever have. I hate feeling like I can't do anything and I hate that I can't make her understand that I'm trying so hard. I hate feeling so worthless. It's like I can't even get her to be happy with me unless I get all A's. I feel like I'm being a bit dramatic and I probably am I just really wanted to get it out. 

1 Reply 1

Rogger
Community Member

Hi KA2007, I'm really sorry to hear about your situation! I find it interesting that you say you're "stupid", as you sound like you are actually very intelligent (smarter than me!), but are just not good at housework. However, I can imagine that might be frustrating for you, as your culture seems to value housework over academic intelligence.

 

I understand that you want to please your parents, but I also want to ask and clarify if you identify with the same cultural beliefs as her, or if your beliefs are different to hers?

 

Either way, I hope your situation improves!