Advice: Do I stay or go?

[Tillycat]

I am new to posting on online forums but not new to depression (8 years now) and I don't feel like I have much to lose by posting on here.

I am at a crossroad in my marriage and I am so unsure of what to do. We have been married for 4 years and together for 9. My husband and I have a similar profession but I gave it all up to allow him to pursue his career when we got together. I completed study in something else (which I don't really enjoy) to enable him to continue doing what he wants. His job was not a normal 9-5 job which means he travels and spends many nights out. I am at home alone. This year one of those jobs has fallen through, he wants to return to uni to study to become a teacher to give us a more stable financial position in order to start a family and save for a house. It is just that he has had to put the course on hold to finish of paper work to get his citizenship which he has been saying he will do for the last 6ish years. We have spoken about having a baby so many times and that we would start trying but never have. We have have spoken about buying a house but it never comes to anything. It is all just words to me now. Even trivial things like "I will wash up" or "I'l take the bins out" and it is still sitting there 2 days later waiting for me.To top it all off he has been writing inappropriate (sexual) things to female friends on Facebook. It has happened several times before when we first got together and a maybe 3 or 4 times since then. I have told him each time that it makes me feel so bad and low and is a betrayal of our relationship. He is secretive of his phone and Facebook accounts. I brought it up with him again and he says he just doesn't think he doing anything wrong at the time but can see how it would make me feel. I don't know if I am making a mountain out of a mole hill.

I feel like I have given up everything for this marriage and relationship but I am not getting anything back. I am always his number one supporter. He supported me when I was at uni but not to stay true to my main life goals and dreams. I am tired of his empty words and promises. I feel like it is now or never for me. If I stay will it be like this forever? I see a psychologist and she has told me straight out to leave. We saw a marriage counsellor together but I felt like it was dealing with his issues not ours. He is trying to implement some things but a bit of me feels like it is too little too late.

[Tillycat]

Thank you so much Geoff for replying again.

In regards to your question, I don't know if I can see us together in 10 years. He says now that he wants to make it work, and that he does not want to lose me. He is differnet but I don't know how long it is going to last.

I am afraid to leave. What if it is not the right decision? What if I am not happy? What if I never meet anyone else? What if in 10 years I look back and regret it.

At this point in time we are both unhappy but he says it is me that has to make the decision and I don't want to. It is too big a decision to make.

i feel bad for my mum, I know she is just trying to help but it is not helping. I know she worries a lot but it just adding to my shoulders not taking away the burden. I feel like I need to make her happy as well. But at the same time I am drowning.