Hi everyone,
Nearly two weeks ago, I got into a new relationship after being in the talking/dating stage with a guy for about seven weeks. Everything is going really well - I've met his family, we're both busy with uni and exams right now so we give each other the space needed to work on our assignments and study, and he's incredibly open, supportive and kind. I cannot fault him in any way.
However, my last relationship was one which was emotionally abusive. Towards the end it became clear that he was only interested in me sexually despite him telling me otherwise, I was constantly anxious and on-edge and I was never welcomed into his family or his incredibly toxic friend group. Because of this, I am having a hard time adjusting into my new relationship. I want to be open and affectionate and be confident initiating intimacy, but I find myself becoming very withdrawn and panicking a lot internally, even though I know logically that I am in a safe place now. I have communicated to my boyfriend that due to my past experiences, intimacy might be a bit awkward and stiff for me at first and it's not because of him, it's just the adjustment process, and he was super understanding, but I still have a hard time trusting that he's okay with it and won't resent me or hate me for it.
I've spoken to some of my friends about it who have been in similar situations where being in their first healthy relationship after an abusive or toxic one was very uncomfortable at first and took some time to get used to. I guess I'm just looking for any advice, or any reassurance that it does get easier, and how to let myself relax and be more comfortable, and let go of the constant anxiety because I don't need it anymore, but I can't seem to let it go.
