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Dad on his own

Not
Community Member

Recently separated dad of two. Eldest is severely autistic. I’ve got mates here in Victoria but no family or great support network. Pretty bitter towards their mum but keep it amicable for the kids. Feeling super alone and isolated. I work full time in a new career as I left my last with ptsd/depression. Other than meds n psych (I’m onto them) does anyone know of any help available, ndis or otherwise. I’m feeling like it’s all getting on top of me. 

1 Reply 1

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi, welcome

 

I'm not knowledgeable with NDIS sorry. Everything else I can relate totally.

 

Briefly, I'm 68yo, dad of 2, 35 and 32yo, the youngest I dont see as I was demonised by her mother. I tolerated that marriage for 11 years then following a attempt on my life left a week later to be the best part time dad I could be, built my own house while working 12 hour shift work, lived in a 10ft caravan, had the kids 7 and 4yo then, every 2nd fortnight. I was them days unaware I had bipolar, depression and this year told I'm high functioning autistic which filled the last gap as it explains the dislike for noise, my inventiveness and creativity. I had a 7 year girlfriend before that 1st wife and a 10 year defacto after my wife. Now I've been happily married 13 years. But I retired early at 57yo as I simply couldnt work any longer mentally. I'be been on BB for over a decade.

 

So building my own home, 12 hours shift in security any spare time I had was with my daughters. 8 months later I moved into my two story quaker barn home and realised that it was because I was busy (exhausted) that it helped my with the grief I had with losing my full time fatherhood and watching my young girls suffer as well. One day I picked them up, the youngest sucking her thumb in the back seat and she said "Dad, we want to keep you"... shattering. At 14yo she rang me after a visit and said "I dont want to see you again". Her sister had left home at 12yo to live happily with me... it was a mystery until I found out her mother was scared she too would leave so she made sure she didnt. Ok, been through the grinder and now my eldest daughter has my wife as "mum".

 

I worked out early days separated that dating helped me overcome the dwelling over my ex, and busy lifestyle you can play/follow sports, golf, car clubs, men sheds and so on all helps. My relationship after my ex turned out to be the step mum from hell so be aware that a potential partner (if you want one) needs to be a nurturing type that love all kids even adult kids, she was really possessive and we never holidayed at all with my daughters in those 10 years. 

 

This forum is open 24/7/365 when you can type to add onto your posts here or start new threads then wait until someone replies. There's a great library here just use search feature above.

 

I've got a few links to relevant threads below, you only need to read the first post of each. I think they'll help.

 

The best praise you'll ever get - overcoming insec... - Beyond Blue Forums - 17140

 

Depression-distraction and variety - Beyond Blue Forums - 275790

 

GUILT the tormentor - Beyond Blue Forums - 321604

 

Meditation - words of wisdom - it helped me for 25... - Page 2 - Beyond Blue Forums - 89818

 

Reply anytime

 

TonyWK