I was 10 when I was caught in a bushfire which destroyed our home in 1965. I stood in the house waiting to die. We walked out through the smouldering bush after the fire front past. Afterwards I felt guilty for not doing anything to help eg gathering photos etc as they were all lost. In those days you were expected to get back to 'normal'life straight away. Life was never the same as we moved away to a new area were it was hard to make friends. I struggled on my own to overcome many challenges eg learning to use a match to light a stove or fire took several years and I felt very embarrassed about it. I compensated for my guilt feelings and poor self esteem by working hard to achieve goals such as high academic results and also by helping people (particularly my parents). My mother became disabled so I took over the shopping and other housework as a teenager. Later I cared for her full time for 12 years after my father died.
More recent bushfires including Ash Wednesday and Black Saturday have been close to us (sparks & embers landing in our garden) thus stirring up bad memories. I react strongly to reports of fires even in other states. I have recently started exposure therapy to help me deal with my problem. Hot dry summers are bad for me and I recently injured myself & have had to give up work because my husband has been very ill and it became too difficult to work and care for him. This means my normal strategy of working hard to drown out the negative feelings isn't possible at the moment.
I wondered if anyone else had experienced anything similar and how they dealt with it. In my case it wasn't just the traumatic event but all the losses ( including complete change of lifestyle) experienced afterwards which have had a negative impact on my mental health
