Hello, I am new here and not sure how to even go about this. Lets just
start at the beginning (well, the beginning of all this). when I was
younger I had witnessed numerous things growing up, due to being a
victim of circumstance. I was bullied since...
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Hello, I am new here and not sure how to even go about this. Lets just
start at the beginning (well, the beginning of all this). when I was
younger I had witnessed numerous things growing up, due to being a
victim of circumstance. I was bullied since I first started school,
which led to me refusing to be enthusiastic about learning and resulted
in me dropping out by yr 10. During my school life, I had witnessed my
mother fight for her life with meningitis when I was barely 7 or 8,
around the same years my family had a home invasion where my step-father
was beaten nearly to death I made eye contact with the men who did it.
It was awful. not long after that, my home, just a month or two after my
birthday, had had a Molotov Cocktail thrown at it, which resulted in
losing our home and being very close to dying. not even a year had gone
by when I returned to school for yr 7, that a boy had told me to my face
that i should have died there. I lost everything and those words just
killed what little of my happiness that i had left. all this happened to
me before I had even started year 8, and boy was I not prepared for what
was to come during my highschool years. bullying was worse, I was the
target of spit balls, aggressive girls looking for fights, and casted
aside socially by everyone. I spent 70% of year 9 and 8, hiding in my
room, crying myself to sleep. I drew the line when my mum brought home
beyond blue books for my "depression". I guess I was embarrassed about
how horrible my self-esteem was at that age and it definitely didnt help
when one of my friends tried to make it a competition of how depressed
we could be. it was awful. On my 19th birthday, i had gone into the
doctors to pick up my results from some tests I did due to not having my
period for a long time.and well, I was diagnosed with PCOS. Too much to
go into about what PCOS is, so if you're curious, please just google as
I have explained so much its starting to hurt me more. The doctor gave
me a prescription, and I took the medication for a while, but it just
made me feel sick. Now, today, I'm 20, turning 21 in a few months time.
Ive taken tests on beyond blue that suggest my anxiety and depression
level is at extreme 'high'. Im constantly crying these passed couple of
weeks, ive had mood swings a lot... and not only that, I've been having
bursts of anger resulting in me punching walls and going absolutely
insane. i can't handle this anymore. Theres so much more to this. Idk
what to do.