Should I seek professional help?

[Molly_Daggers]

Hi every one Im new at this so hope Im doing things correctly. Cant believe I have butterflies lol.

I need to ask advice in regards to PTSD. I havent been diagnosed with it as such (only severe depression) although my last psych mentioned that I had it after I was telling her a few things, but she didnt give me any advice nor informed my GP.

Anyhow, a couple of days ago I had a flashback of a particular incident that happened when I was a teenager (Im now 52) while being sexually abused. The scene was very graphic and now I cant seem to shake it, or train my brain to stop thinking about it. I dont know what sparked the flashback, I just had an odd feeling or sensation then the memory came back. It sickens me to the core and I now it is affecting the way I am acting, thinking and dealing with people.

Should I go to my GP and get referred to another psych, as the last one, and many before her, hasnt helped me, or is this just something that will keep happening regardless of any intervention?

Ive actually thought of getting hypnosis to stop me ever thinking about my abuse but Im scared of losing apart of myself (if that makes sense?). I just need my brain to stop allowing all the memories popping up and reliving all those horrific times it happened. Even when I take anti depressants the thoughts come back.

I welcome any feed back, as this time it is really doing my head in and I cant function properly. Thanks for listening.

[geoff]

hello Molly, it's very brave for you to post your first comment, so welcome to the site.
I am sorry for what happened to you when you were a teenager, because it's a thought that I'm sure you just want to forget about, and I have no doubt about this.
With PTSD it's how we are able to cope with any of these bad memories so we are then able to push them aside, that's never easy so a psychologist should help you to do this and not just say that you have it and then do nothing about it, so yes you should try another psychologist, one who is specifically trained in sexual abuse and PTSD, you maybe able to find one by clicking on 'Get Support' at the top of the page and scroll down to 'Find a Professional' or you could ring the BB phone number, or just ask your GP who may know of someone.
You will need to be trained by a psychologist on how you can cope with these thoughts and once this happens then these thoughts will slowly diminish over time, so then won't cause all of this trouble, it's a desensitization method or they may use another method, each to their own.
If you feel as hypnosis could be the answer then I would certainly try it, I don't know much about this, but I would think that these bad thoughts would only be targeted and nothing else, if it was me I would absolutely try it, and if any other part of your brain is to be affected, wouldn't it be worth it if they stop, to me it would, anything to stop them being brought on by viewing an incident, but have a think about this and please let us know. Geoff. x

[Karam]

Hello Molly,

Firstly, I would like to thank you for coming online to seek help and support and to be brave to confront this topic

I understand the pain that you are going through - I was an abuse victim myself and have seen many doctors to seek a solution for it. What I would suggest is that you do see another psych if that is what you want

I am inclined to say that since this is a recurring pattern (something I had as well) - it is important to identify when and how this emotions come along. For example, I realized that I had the thoughts much more when things are not going good at work as I felt work related to me proving that I can beat the experience

So, what I did was to identify the emotions as it happened (when I know things are not going good at work) - I start keeping myself busy by doing activities that would help me clarify my thoughts, keep me calm and collected as well as to ensure that I am able to channel the energy to a more positive activity - I took on the gym, you can pick whatever that keeps you calm and happy (suggestions include walking, gardening, cooking, going for a drive) - I then also slowly channeled my mind to look at it in a way that I am a stronger person today due to the experience and that I am able to survive through it all along and will make it work.

I did try hypnotherapy once but it wasnt my cup of tea. As it involves going into deep sleep/ meditation cycle, it wasnt something I was comfortable with. But, I would still suggest you give it a try as it may be the right avenue for you

The key here is that whenever you have those images and thoughts, always remember to distract yourself. Distract yourself with positive activities that will help you build yourself up and fight the thoughts

I hope this helps - please let me know if there is anything else I can help you with

[MarkJT]

Molly, you have done so well with coming here and posting, that is so awesome.

I had terrible flashbacks from an incident i attended as a member of Victoria Police. They would haunt me for years and then resulted in me losing all my self worth and resilience. Post PTSD diagnoses, i met and built a brilliant relationship with a very talented psychologist who would lead me through a course of exposure therapy. It is not fun to go through by any stretch of the imagination as you have to recall and talk about it great detail your traumas BUT it worked a treat with me.

I no longer have nightmares and although i still flashback quite regularly, the images that I saw do not bother me anymore because the exposure therapy removed the power from them.

It is really important if you are going to go down this avenue that you find a psych that you "click" with. You are putting an enormous amount of trust in them as you are going to deliberately trigger yourself massive.

I also have some mates within the Emergency Services that are having some really good success with EMDR so that might be worth looking into as well.

I would absolutely go back to the GP and get a referral to a psych who, as pointed out by Geoff above, who specializes in sex assault trauma. You can get them under control with the right treatment.

Good luck.

[Molly_Daggers]

Thank you for the feedback, suggestions and support. Yes it seems I need to source another psych to help me with this. Cant believe Ive been seeing them on and off for 26 years and have never had any of them really assist me with any focused therapy.

I am scared of once again going over the same old stuff and 'reliving' the trauma as it wears me out considerably and Im no fun to be around, plus it plays havoc with my relationship.

The suggestion in regards to diverting thoughts away from the flashbacks is useful and I do try that when I have the strength, but I find myself so absorbed in flicking to one activity to another for distraction that I am exhausted. The fact that Im not working probably isnt helping matters, and unfortunately Im having trouble finding work, as all the jobs I want to apply for require a police clearance which I cant get because I was arrested for 'going off' which was triggered by my reaction to what happened to me. Talk about a revolving door!

Anyway I will venture a look at the list of therapists on this site and see if I can get back on a mental health program. Cant believe it was over 3 weeks that I first posted on this forum. Guess I have been avoiding confronting my issues again.

Thanks again for the feedback.

[Cornstarch]

Not necessarily.

it wears me out considerably and Im no fun to be around, plus it plays havoc with my relationship.

You have given such little information about your mental health and emotional well-being of yourself and your partner, so it is difficult to comment in an appropriate way that is helpful to your own unique circumstances. Your partner is pivotal in this situation also. Depending if he/she/? has been abused can greatly effect our response to sexual trauma.

There's a very, very pissed off little person inside of all of us and you have to be careful to ensure you protect yourself and not project your pain onto your partner if they were lucky enough to escape this type of horror. We have to try our best to try an not burn any bridges. I know it's hard when we're in flashbacks.

Remaining 'contained' can be a good thing and possibly exactly what you need, especially if you have not disclosed to many people.

Flashbacks can be surfed without digging.

Have you told anyone other than your partner?

No pressure to reply. Totally get triggers