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PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

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Sophie_M If you need to talk about Bondi Beach - Our community is here
  • replies: 6

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Aus... View more

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Australia and we extend our heartfelt condolences to the individuals and families affected by this tragedy. We wanted to create a space where you can share whatever you’re feeling - whether that’s fear, shock, grief, or anything else that has come up for you. If you need support from others in the community, please feel welcome to post here. Violence and acts of terror can bring feelings of shock, grief, profound sadness, anger and fear. It’s normal to experience these emotions while trying to make sense of distressing events. It may take time for these feelings to ease, but it’s never too early to seek support if you are feeling distressed. Beyond Blue is here for you anytime, by phone on 1300 224 636 or via webchat: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/talk-to-a-counsellor You can also support those around you by being available to them and listening. Thank you for being such an important part of this community, and for the kindness, honesty, and wisdom you continue to share with each other. We remind the community that Beyond Blue is here for all people in Australia, no matter what you believe, how you live or who you worship. Kind regards Sophie M

A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Molly_Daggers Should I seek professional help?
  • replies: 5

Hi every one Im new at this so hope Im doing things correctly. Cant believe I have butterflies lol. I need to ask advice in regards to PTSD. I havent been diagnosed with it as such (only severe depression) although my last psych mentioned that I had ... View more

Hi every one Im new at this so hope Im doing things correctly. Cant believe I have butterflies lol. I need to ask advice in regards to PTSD. I havent been diagnosed with it as such (only severe depression) although my last psych mentioned that I had it after I was telling her a few things, but she didnt give me any advice nor informed my GP. Anyhow, a couple of days ago I had a flashback of a particular incident that happened when I was a teenager (Im now 52) while being sexually abused. The scene was very graphic and now I cant seem to shake it, or train my brain to stop thinking about it. I dont know what sparked the flashback, I just had an odd feeling or sensation then the memory came back. It sickens me to the core and I now it is affecting the way I am acting, thinking and dealing with people. Should I go to my GP and get referred to another psych, as the last one, and many before her, hasnt helped me, or is this just something that will keep happening regardless of any intervention? Ive actually thought of getting hypnosis to stop me ever thinking about my abuse but Im scared of losing apart of myself (if that makes sense?). I just need my brain to stop allowing all the memories popping up and reliving all those horrific times it happened. Even when I take anti depressants the thoughts come back. I welcome any feed back, as this time it is really doing my head in and I cant function properly. Thanks for listening.

MILA06 Survivor struggling to keep her head above water
  • replies: 3

Hi I'm new here. I lost my mum 20 years ago on 01 October to domestic violence and our lives (my siblings and I) have been a minefield or 10. Of the 4 of us, I am the only one left standing still. Against all odds. I battle severe depression, severe ... View more

Hi I'm new here. I lost my mum 20 years ago on 01 October to domestic violence and our lives (my siblings and I) have been a minefield or 10. Of the 4 of us, I am the only one left standing still. Against all odds. I battle severe depression, severe anxiety and ptsd years ago. I won the battle or so I thought... The battle doesn't really ever end, does it? It doesn't get as bad but bad enough to get me scared that it's starting all over again....

justanumber CPTSD and PRENATAL DEPRESSION
  • replies: 2

Hi, I'm new to the site. I have Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and am approximately 6 weeks pregnant. I don't know exactly how many weeks because I can't leave my house. I am not coping with this and am having to deal with this alone. Has thi... View more

Hi, I'm new to the site. I have Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and am approximately 6 weeks pregnant. I don't know exactly how many weeks because I can't leave my house. I am not coping with this and am having to deal with this alone. Has this happened to anyone before? The thoughts are intrusive and I can't tell whether it is the depression or if I genuinely hate my partner too. I am supposed to have had the 4 antenatal blood vials done. The GP is literally 1km down the road but I cant even go into my back yard. I am used to getting depressed. But this is the worst I have ever had it. I am not looking for any suggestion that involves leaving the house or using my phone to help. I've been through the ringer with mental health facilities etc. I just want to know if anyone has experienced the same as me. I'd like to feel less alone. This is my first baby, if you don't count the one I lost a year ago. And I feel nothing but Dread. I have no idea what I'm doing and trying to figure it all out on my own, in my house with the internet. Thanks

KravHelps unsure
  • replies: 4

hey im 27, iv never been to see anyone about what goes on in my head, and iv wanted talk mum for so long but its one of the hardest things i could do is tell mummy that im not ok. im not sure if i have ptsd, iv looked it all up and have had one mate ... View more

hey im 27, iv never been to see anyone about what goes on in my head, and iv wanted talk mum for so long but its one of the hardest things i could do is tell mummy that im not ok. im not sure if i have ptsd, iv looked it all up and have had one mate that is a shrink tell me iv most likely got it.I have told 3 of my friends the events and all of them not even a week later they didnt want anything to do with me. this will be my first time attempting to find help.about 9years and 7months ago I was engaged to my dream girl, she was 5 months pregnant she went to a friends house then about 3 hours late i got a call she was being rushed to emergency, long story short she was hit bye her ex bf and lost the baby and a week later i came home to find she had suicided. i see her every day and i have nightmares almost everynight, i have learned not to be phased bye them as much now, I still see myself holding her for hours everyday.Years before that i was set up bye who i thought was a mate but he had set up with 7-8 of his friends to drug me and pass me around. i know their are good gay men out their but iv just never felt safe or ever trusted a gay man ever again i have learned good and bad in everything and learned respect for every1 threw martial arts but still no trust. i dont know how to write anymore sorry.I guess im wanting to know if how far gone i am or if i even do have ptsd or anything. been down for the last 12years but iv been given great acting lessons and can smile threw anything then go and cry myself sleep everynight. my mummy is my best friend and the self defence i do called krav maga are the only things that been keeping me from leaving this place, i have got no friends.Iv used self defense to keep myself alive but not sure if it is enough anymore, what else can i be doing? or should i do?

ChocMint High profile abusers
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone. When I was 14 I was sexually assaulted by a school teacher on two occasions, the teacher was moved on and I've dealt with it in my own ways since. Fast forward 20 years, and this person is now fairly high profile in my community. I see h... View more

Hi everyone. When I was 14 I was sexually assaulted by a school teacher on two occasions, the teacher was moved on and I've dealt with it in my own ways since. Fast forward 20 years, and this person is now fairly high profile in my community. I see him in local papers, sometimes on TV, etc... There is also an even higher profile person who has been trying to make me sign letters saying I was not abused, etc... The Dept of Education is paying for my psychological treatment, and the Royal Commission is involved. But the day to day anxiety and panic attacks have gotten much worse in recent times. I'm wondering if anybody has any experience in similar matters, and how they have dealt with it?

Vicky2 I think I have ptsd
  • replies: 3

3 months ago my little baby girl died due to a sudden accident in the home. My 2 sons have a fatal genetic condition with short life spans and also autism. My daughter has autism and is a genetic carrier. I keep dreaming that something is going to ha... View more

3 months ago my little baby girl died due to a sudden accident in the home. My 2 sons have a fatal genetic condition with short life spans and also autism. My daughter has autism and is a genetic carrier. I keep dreaming that something is going to happen to my kids, husband and me. I shake all the time, I'm scared and I keep blanking out and can't remember what happened. I feel very sad and down all the time. How do I go on I miss her so much.

BBUser99 Did anything wrong happen?
  • replies: 4

I keep replaying these scenes in my head and I feel tormented.My dad, my brother and I went to Queensland to visit my dads half sister when I was 10. She had 3 kids, a girl a bit older than me, a son my age, and another son 3-4 years older so he was ... View more

I keep replaying these scenes in my head and I feel tormented.My dad, my brother and I went to Queensland to visit my dads half sister when I was 10. She had 3 kids, a girl a bit older than me, a son my age, and another son 3-4 years older so he was 13-14 at the time. The oldest, he was very big for his age, not fat but quite built, a bit muscly and hefty. He seemed a bit older than his age. He was known to be very troublesome, known for being violent, sadistic, teasing people and torturing animals. I never disliked him at this point but I did feel a bit scared of him. I was a thin small girl at this point, I had not even hit puberty yet.We stayed there for I think about a week. And from what I can remember, I think every day, that older male cousin has been abusing me...I think, or trying to... Im confused as to if he did or not.It would usually be that I was in the study room, playing a game on the computer, and he would come in and close the door. There were other times too when he made inapporpriate suggestions. I remember refusing and running away.All I know is when I think of that time there, I feel really sick, dirty, I feel confused, I feel there is more but my mind just cannot put it all together. I remember from then on, I was always very awkward and scared about guys touching me or being sexual towards me. I keep reliving the moments more and more lately.I feel traumatized but should I? I was 10 and he was 14, Was I molested? Should I seek help? Do I have the right to?

Charley75 The devil in the mirror!
  • replies: 12

I am so angry at the moment, I cannot speak. I tried throwing everything around in my bedroom in the clinic, now I'm out for a walk, march or tantrum whatever you wanna call it! Neil1 I've missed you and others here, but I could not stay on the forum... View more

I am so angry at the moment, I cannot speak. I tried throwing everything around in my bedroom in the clinic, now I'm out for a walk, march or tantrum whatever you wanna call it! Neil1 I've missed you and others here, but I could not stay on the forum. Love, Yggy

KaraArtist Realization, affected by family abuse
  • replies: 27

Hi, Some of you may have seen me post something like this in another thread, I wanted to start the descussion anew in the appropriate forum. Maybe others will have similar experiences to share that I can draw from and vise versa. Since staying with m... View more

Hi, Some of you may have seen me post something like this in another thread, I wanted to start the descussion anew in the appropriate forum. Maybe others will have similar experiences to share that I can draw from and vise versa. Since staying with my sister and being around my immediate family again I have had an epiphany. I think the reason that I cannot shake the black dog, aside from it being likely a lifelong journey, is that it was born of abuse. My mother was emotionally abusive from the day I was born. She was also physically violent for most of my childhood. I already knew this but for some reason thought that I was unaffected because of that knowledge. I have no idea why I thought that but upon further reflection it makes complete sense. It’s the reason that all 4 of us siblings are struggling with varying degrees of depression, anxiety and mental illness. I have spent most of my life lifting the mirror up to my mother so that she can grow and stop the abuse, I was successful in stopping the physical abuse by the time my youngest sister was born but the emotional is harder to see and harder to fix, it continues today and i continue to hold up that mirror. My mother was bused by her father emotionally, physically and sexually. And in turn he was abused by his father. It is a cycle that is beginning to break down as each generation gets better and heals. I am blown away that I never saw it. I have been on my journey so long I just can’t believe I didn’t put the pieces together. Approching my mental health with this in mind is completely new to me, I've always assumed that I would have mental health issues regardless of my mothers abuse, brothers abuse and family traumas I have endured. But I seem to suddenly see with clear eyes. Anyone else have a similar story? and how are you dealing with it? Interesting thoughts Kara

lavendar Can't pull out of it
  • replies: 4

I have suffered depression on and off since I had my daughter - I had had a fantastic last 2 years with no anxiety or depression although I still take meds. I recently came out of a relationship I now understand was very toxic. I fell in love with so... View more

I have suffered depression on and off since I had my daughter - I had had a fantastic last 2 years with no anxiety or depression although I still take meds. I recently came out of a relationship I now understand was very toxic. I fell in love with someone I knew was bad for me, when I tried to discuss issues I was having with him, he dismissed them as being my problem, he didn't seem to want to work on anything with me. Cut a long story short, we had a fight, he did a couple of things over the next week and I distanced myself completely - in fact I went completely numb. I knew I could no longer be in the relationship, when he contacted me I pushed back any sexual suggestions and focused on life - but i was still numb in my heart. He came to my house at 3am about 3 weeks later, was very drunk and attacked me mentally over a 3 hour period and left "love bites" all up my arm and on my chest which were very painful when he was doing them but he kept pulling my arm to him and biting harder. He was saying some really degrading and things that I just didnt understand. In the morning I asked him if he remembered what he had done, he said yes, I still don't know if he did. Anyway, my arm and chest were black in bruising, when he msg'd me a couple of days later I just lost it. I didn't know at the time but I had PTSD symptoms from the incident. I have no contact with him now - I just cannot deal with what he did nor understand what I did to deserve it. I have put on a brave face pulling myself up to finish assignments and exams but I am now 2 months later completely empty inside. I was so happy, confident and strong in my job and study before I met him and I just lost myself. I just can't shake this empty feeling I have - no feelings and I just don't care at the core. I am trying hard to get out and do things, have made some social group connections but I can't stop replaying what happened and understand how he could do that to me. I hope this makes sense.