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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Sam2 tired of looking back
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, I have been suffering with PTSD for a year now and I recently had a relapse of Sycosis, even thought the meds kinda work it does stop this talkative mind, and it seems to say things that I don't wanna hear I have tried not talking back t... View more

Hi everyone, I have been suffering with PTSD for a year now and I recently had a relapse of Sycosis, even thought the meds kinda work it does stop this talkative mind, and it seems to say things that I don't wanna hear I have tried not talking back to it but its hard, I feel like I am being controlled by someone and I think its a guy who is answering yes or no by tilting my head and it is most annoying and disturbing, I have ask it to leave and they wont and the moment I as him to leave I go backward say nasty thing in my mind. and even when I talk about treatment or the kind of treatment I want I seem to go backwards/ or I think I am being fake which I ashore you I'm not, I say the same recurring words in my mind and I am sick of it, some days I don't even wanna wake up as it goes all day long, and then if I have a bad dream the night before I am really bad the next day, I try to keep my self busy but i cant even concentrate on what i am doing, as its chatter chatter chatter. ive tried to teach myself CBT and Mindfullness techneacs but it only last a little while before if gets turned into a negative and then when i want to teach my self cbt all the old horrifying words that i had long gotten ride of come back it.

pinkroses Today I ended my emotionally abusive relationship
  • replies: 18

What next? Im shaking & scared. Im at my mums & I have told her. I was brave and told him this morning it isn't okay how he treats e.g. today he is going alone to a girls house to drink. I said that's not okay as he won't tell me where it is and when... View more

What next? Im shaking & scared. Im at my mums & I have told her. I was brave and told him this morning it isn't okay how he treats e.g. today he is going alone to a girls house to drink. I said that's not okay as he won't tell me where it is and when he will be back. He said I'm a skitzo & other things. I know people that haven't read my past post may think I didn't do the right thing however he does this often. who knows what he does with other people behind my back. Not too sure what else to write right now.

Noidentity Scared to be me my husband is verbally abusive
  • replies: 4

How do I find me again, my husband and I have been together for 7 years and it's never been easy. It wasn't until a year in that I realised he had a drinking problem. He drinks five or six days a week. It's something he says he wants to change but al... View more

How do I find me again, my husband and I have been together for 7 years and it's never been easy. It wasn't until a year in that I realised he had a drinking problem. He drinks five or six days a week. It's something he says he wants to change but all he does is become more secretive about alcohol. He verbally abuses me for hours when he's had too much or if he hasn't had enough. He stores a head full of things and puts me down and speaks to me like crap. I'm believing everything he has said about me now and I don't know what to do. I'm not perfect but I was comfortable with myself before we met, he's not an attentive husband or father he tries really hard when he's feeling guilty then uses that against me. My five year old now asks him to not yell at mum and if he's having more drinks, I think I should have left already but I love the focused him. I now have no one , I have cut myself off from the world and feel useless he criticises the way I am around his friends and tells me I f@&$)d up my kids. Always personal, I can't take anymore but I don't know if I can rise above and move on. Or am I more to blame than I realise. This is my second Marriage he keeps reminding me of that. He says there is no such thing as abuse because he has never laid a hand on me. Although he has threatened to break every bone in my body. I kicked a bedroom door down in panic one night during an argument as he was holding my one year old and screaming at me and he locked himself in the room with him, I just wanted my baby back. He uses that against me now all the time. My older kids don't respect him anymore Someone please help me find my inner strength and guide me to know what to do

Miseryguts Does talking really help?
  • replies: 10

Hi... I've seen a therapist once in my life, spent an hour with her then time was up and I walked out feeling bruised and battered. Like an open wound she'd forgotten to sew closed before she sent me back in to the world. I never went back. That was ... View more

Hi... I've seen a therapist once in my life, spent an hour with her then time was up and I walked out feeling bruised and battered. Like an open wound she'd forgotten to sew closed before she sent me back in to the world. I never went back. That was before the really significant trauma. There's so much more now that I'm not sure that going over it could even help. I feel like there's nobody in the world with enough time to even listen. And I cry so much! I can just be doing shopping and it will cross my mind or an image will pop into my head and I immediately start to cry. I definitely spend more time crying than not. Don't know what to do.

Sir_Duke (Trigger warning: sexual abuse) Full of anger, confusion and depression - and I am not the one having to deal with the real problems
  • replies: 5

I am angry! Angry at my partner's parents for being so hopeless and compounding the problems that my beautiful partner, S, is facing up to and dealing with. S had a horrible childhood at the hands of her brother who bullied, physically assaulted, int... View more

I am angry! Angry at my partner's parents for being so hopeless and compounding the problems that my beautiful partner, S, is facing up to and dealing with. S had a horrible childhood at the hands of her brother who bullied, physically assaulted, intimidated and generally made her life hell from the age of 9. Her parents also bore witness to his wrath and were themselves assaulted and threatened with violence - even a knife. The police were called to their house on 5 occasions, by their neighbours, during his explosive 'episodes', (never by them though as the Mother would not allow such a thing to be done -BTW she is a psychiatrist wet dream with compound issues of delusional behaviour, egotism, eating disorders, etc. and has caused her own level of trauma to S through her self-serving emotional bullying- and yes S's mother was abused as a child too). Over the past 2 years S's emotional state has deteriorated. Despite a very comfortable lifestyle with everything one could want S has been wrestling with her past and the repressed monster inside of her finally broke out. Fortunately we got to a safe place so S could seek treatment. It transpires that S was also sexually abused on several occasions by her brother - commencing at the age of 9. She didn't tell her parents at the time and they now show no interest in hearing what she has/needs to say or facing up to the reality of what happened. S has been admitted to the clinic twice and I fear she will need to go back again soon as I simply can't keep her safe from herself. I have tried to tell her parents that she needs them to hear her and what she has to say. There is simply no way that they couldn't have put 2 and 2 together and worked out that their son raped their daughter! She has told them that her brother, physically, mentally, emotionally and sexually abused her and that is why she is going into hospital for treatment but their response is 'it happened in the past - there is no benefit to reliving it all -you need to get over it!' She is being so brave to face up to her past and work through it - and I know she can be successful - but the additional layer of her parents dismissing it, not supporting her and worse still not wanting to believe her, might be more than she can manage. I am doing everything I can to support. I am scared for her and I am so angry at her parents - I want to blurt it all out to them but know it is not my place to do so. I just want what's best for S.

Chris_B The Melbourne CBD tragedy - dealing with the emotional impact of a traumatic event
  • replies: 5

Hi everyone, I was in Bourke St yesterday and spent time at the community memorial outside the old GPO building. Flowers and cards covering the pavement, crowds of people just standing and taking it all in. To anyone reading who may be feeling overwh... View more

Hi everyone, I was in Bourke St yesterday and spent time at the community memorial outside the old GPO building. Flowers and cards covering the pavement, crowds of people just standing and taking it all in. To anyone reading who may be feeling overwhelmed or distressed by the tragedy that has occurred, this is a space to share your thoughts and get support. Below are some tips taken from the beyondblue resource "Emotional responses after a disaster": DO * Spend time with people who care * Give yourself time * Find out about the impact of trauma and what to expect * Try to keep a routine going, eg. work, study * Return to normal activities * Talk about how you feel or what happened when ready * Do things that help you relax * Do things that you enjoy * Set realistic goals - don't take on too much, but try to find goals that keep you motivated * Review and reward progress - notice even the small steps * Talk about the ups and downs of recovery with friends, family and the health professionals involve in your care * Have a plan to maintain positive changes and plans to deal with times of stress or reminders of the trauma DON'T * Use alcohol or drugs to try and cope * Keep yourself busy and work too much * Engage in stressful family or work situations * Withdraw from family and friends * Stop yourself from doing things that you enjoy * Avoid talking about what happened * Take risks

Pip25 PTSD Treatment
  • replies: 2

I was in an abusive relationship for several years and have been diagnosed with PTSD. I have recently started seeing a psychologist to seek help. After sessions I feel exhausted, stressed and find myself crying a lot. I want to know all of this is wo... View more

I was in an abusive relationship for several years and have been diagnosed with PTSD. I have recently started seeing a psychologist to seek help. After sessions I feel exhausted, stressed and find myself crying a lot. I want to know all of this is worth it. Does anyone have any experience with treatment approaches for PTSD that work? Currently, I'm trying traumatic memory re-scripting.

Celery Raging PTSD
  • replies: 8

I did not know i had PTSD..I did not know i had dysthymia..all of my life i only knew i always felt different. After a life of being ostracised, physically abused and shunned by my family i just cannot take any more of this daily terrorism from my wo... View more

I did not know i had PTSD..I did not know i had dysthymia..all of my life i only knew i always felt different. After a life of being ostracised, physically abused and shunned by my family i just cannot take any more of this daily terrorism from my worn out brain. In early 2003 my father chose to suicide. I ran in slow motion to his side and tried in vain to help. I told him he would be alright and help was on the way. He cried. My mind leapt back to reality and realised he was not returning to this world. I shuddered and felt the guilt for not recognising his plan. My mother was released from life 6 yrs earlier and i had not seen her for almost a year. Her cold face looked worn out and fragile, her hair grey and​ lifeless. Once a beautiful woman full of life who tirelessly gave to the community..her facade to cap the shame and humiliation of living with physical and endless emotional abuse by the perpetrator, my father. My sister a nurse outcast me and not a word orated from the day she held me responsible for our fathers tragedy..not a whisper of comfort or support towards me..just contempt. I cared for my father for 2 yeras..the very same man who emotionally and physically abused me for my entire life..i loved my mother everyday despite her words of discourage and ostracism to me for not being like the sister who had already taken the position as the golden haired child. My deafness from infancy was an embarrassment to my family..i was not give the opportunities as it was viewed as a waste of time.. Yes the insidious and baffling disease of alcholism touched every family member and nor did my kid brother escape it...it took him deep into the hot earth at the age of 30. ​Now what am i doing here..everyday is an enormous, exhausting effort to keep slushing, pushing, dragging and thinking my life for survival..and i dont have to take a drink..I was spared from the wretched disease. When will my time be my time with not so much pain? Nightmares, guilt, shame and self torment are attached to me like black hot tar. I need to seek the courage to strip it back..i have not much time.

Nataley Traumatic Experience as a child
  • replies: 7

Hi there, Was wondering if anyone can help bring a bit of clarity here? Am I normal? I am 32 years old. I've never really received any professional help just the help of close family & friends. I feel I am a bit different from most people and struggl... View more

Hi there, Was wondering if anyone can help bring a bit of clarity here? Am I normal? I am 32 years old. I've never really received any professional help just the help of close family & friends. I feel I am a bit different from most people and struggle sometimes. I find that I get really annoyed & irritated at the smallest things a lot of the time and I can be quite a negative person and I feel its starting to effect my life and take over a bit. My husband doesn't really get it but he accepts me and is very patient. We as a family went through quite a traumatic experience. I was 13 years old and grew up in South Africa when the indecent happened. One Friday night we were all at home my mum, myself & 2 sisters. Dad was at the pub having a few drinks. Between leaving the pub and driving back home he was attacked and stabbed in his neck. He drove home parked the car walked up to the house and passed out on our front doorsteps. We opened the door and found him there still alive. We called the ambulance service and it took them just under 2 hours to arrive. In that time my mum was running around like a headless chicken. My oldest sister was the one who kept dad alive doing CPR and apply pressure to his wound until the ambulance eventually arrived. I even remember dad taking his last breath on my sisters lap. She gave him CPR and he came back. Anyways the ambulance arrived eventually my mom got in with dad and left for the hospital must have been around 12-1am. At about 4-5am my mum came alone home sat down in the lounge and told us dad had died. I do remember feeling very angry weeks after it happened. I was very close to my father. A few years later going into teenage years I starting smoking drinking & Drugs and dropped out of school and got involved with the wrong crowd and landed up in jail over night for the first time. (my father was a police officer lol he wouldn't be very proud of that) Anyways after being arrested for a night I woke up and came to my senses very quickly. I still smoke & have the odd glass of wine or 5 but no more drugs anymore since 20 years old. I've never been to get any professional help. But I find I get really, annoyed, angry & frustrated and very small insignificant things. I also find it takes me forever to make friends as people annoy me. I do feel like im very different to everyone else and being around people who small talk really does my head in. Is this normal? Thanks

Praxidike Anxiety from being stalked
  • replies: 7

Hi all, Over the past 11 months I have been the victim of stalking, intimidation and harassment. I have been followed, stared at constantly, cut off while walking along the footpath, and had my stalker trying to find out information about me through ... View more

Hi all, Over the past 11 months I have been the victim of stalking, intimidation and harassment. I have been followed, stared at constantly, cut off while walking along the footpath, and had my stalker trying to find out information about me through friends. I recently started counselling through my university but now that holidays are here there is no one I can talk to and I feel like my anxiety is getting worse. I have spoken to the police several times, but as most of this is occurring in public places, there is no trace of any evidence and the only option is an AVO. I am quite scared to go ahead with this as I do not want consequences – our children go to the same school and unfortunately changing is not an option. I failed an exam for uni earlier this year as I had been followed the evening before and I just couldn’t think straight. Just recently I went to our local library to study for upcoming exams and he followed me there too. I haven’t received my results yet, but there is a chance that I have failed a whole subject. I am devastated as I had really good grades up until six months ago. Since that happened I have been feeling so much anxiety. I get into bed at night and I can feel my heart pounding, I can’t sleep and it makes it so hard to get out of bed the next day. My head feels foggy, I can’t concentrate, and I am scared for my daughter. He has been asked to leave me alone, yet he continues. I am so angry, frustrated and upset about this and I just don’t know how to cope with the anxiety anymore. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you

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