Immediate support
Immediate support

PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

All discussions

Start a discussion

Solosombra New to the forum! Not sure what I'm doing
  • replies: 5

Hello beyond blue community! I'm kiamau, pronounced " key R mo' I'm not sure what I'm really doing here besides the fact that not talking about my issues is really starting to get to me after 14 years and this seems like an easier transition in to ta... View more

Hello beyond blue community! I'm kiamau, pronounced " key R mo' I'm not sure what I'm really doing here besides the fact that not talking about my issues is really starting to get to me after 14 years and this seems like an easier transition in to talking openly I guess? I've never had a support system really and I'm not sure what to expect or what's expected of me but I guess theres a first for everything and I'm hoping BB can help and maybe I can help someone else too even if its just a ear to lend you! Stay safe guys/gals

DavidS 30 years and I finally told someone about my sexual abuse
  • replies: 4

I'm 42 and 30 years after I started being sexually Abused I finally told someone, my wife after being together for 19 years. For the last 2 years I have been getting flashbacks, this has caused major relationship issues, trying to block it out of my ... View more

I'm 42 and 30 years after I started being sexually Abused I finally told someone, my wife after being together for 19 years. For the last 2 years I have been getting flashbacks, this has caused major relationship issues, trying to block it out of my mind, this has caused my labidobto to basically disappear, I have neglected my wife's needs for intimacy, being caring, support for her needs. We have been so close numerous times to splitting for good, I've had thoughts of ending it all. I've been to doctors, psychologists and Havnt been truthfully and told them what happened to me as a child, I didn't think it mattered, I thought I deserved what happened to me, I was the fat kid without many friends and who would believe me? The pain, anxiety the feelings of anger and disgust are haunting me, I've tried to keep it together for so long which has caused more problems, my wife has asked if I have had an affair with men or women, I haven't! I went to see a doctor today with my wife, he has referred me to a psychologist, I have been taking anti depressants for over a year and they have made me worse, I've cried when my wife has asked me why I don't do anything for her, why do I treat her like shit all the time (I'm not abusive or violent) I don't take her anywhere or do nice things for her, but I do things for the very few friends I have and I don't have an answer for why I didn't thus. We had an argument this afternoon and I stormed out, I don't know what to do, u went back to work (I'm self employed) told my staff to deal with whatever this afternoon and I'm just sitting feeling very emotional and pissed off I've upset my wife again

pvroom PTSD after traumatic birth and newborn with serious illness
  • replies: 29

My son was born in April 2015 and it was traumatic. I had a healthy pregnancy but it all went wrong when he was born. He was born at 37 weeks but had stopped growing as my placenta had stopped working so he was more like a 33 weeker. The birth was 36... View more

My son was born in April 2015 and it was traumatic. I had a healthy pregnancy but it all went wrong when he was born. He was born at 37 weeks but had stopped growing as my placenta had stopped working so he was more like a 33 weeker. The birth was 36 hours, and I ended up having an assisted delivery and epidural which wasn't what I wanted. I never had time to think about this as soon after he was born he was taken to the nursery because he wasn't breathing and he then had to be resuscitated. He was moved to another hospital with higher level care, but then moved again after another 48 hours ending up in the NICU. He was intubated and it took him about 6 days to breath alone which is unusual for a baby of that gestation.We finally got him home after four weeks and at first I felt so happy but then after another month he started experiencing reflux and no one would listen to me about it. Eventually a paediatrician did and since then (8 months ago) it's been a rollercoaster of him improving a bit and then regressing again. I get very little sleep, he's up 5 times a night generally between 9pm and 6.30am. Hubby helps but as I'm still feeding him, I naturally have to do more.I'm seeing a psychologist for the anxiety and PTSD. It's coming up to his first birthday and I'm already wondering how it will affect me.

NotSoStrongAfterAll Fruitless search for hope
  • replies: 2

Hello and thanks for reading. I am 30-something and within the last five years I've experienced some immediate stressors - professional bullying, end of an emotionally abusive relationship and had trust seriously abused by trusted ones that have cost... View more

Hello and thanks for reading. I am 30-something and within the last five years I've experienced some immediate stressors - professional bullying, end of an emotionally abusive relationship and had trust seriously abused by trusted ones that have cost me considerable sums of money. Within this time I have also (finally) had some revelations about my past about events I had always explained as my fault, including multiple instances of sexual abuse when I was a child, by relative strangers and also a "father-figure". It came to light that my mother was aware of the grooming and failed to act.My father was similarly ineffectual in protecting me. More recently, I had a miscarriage which, despite being over-joyed at the news of my pregnancy, was met with apathy by both of my parents. Not even a follow-up text if I was okay weeks later. I finally put this to my mother and now she has rescinded contact. I am at my end. I spend my days trying not to drink and watching shows on my laptop. If I'm being "good" I will delay my first drink until 5pm and then I will drink to oblivion. I leave the house only when I need more alcohol. I had an eating disorder for over ten years (I've always been a total mess!) which I managed to overcome on my own. I had one visit with a psychologist many years ago to help me with this but he spent most of the first (and last) session asking about my sex life. My mother is a mental health worker and volunteered with LifeLine call centres for years, so I don't trust the avenues that are meant to help. I have retreated into a bubble and am terrified of coming out. Every time I try and emerge, something else seems to jump up and slap me in the face. I haven't even started on my intense dismay at the state of the world! I feel as though there is nothing anyone can do or say to help me regain my happiness. The anti-depressants helped for a while but now they just stave off the incessant tears. I have always been "the strong one" but I don't have the strength anymore. Your suggestions on a course of action will be immensely appreciated x

Spencerr sexual assault/rape survivor PTSD & anxiety i am seeking support
  • replies: 30

21 years old & terified about what the future holds for me.In 2012 on the 6th of July I was walking down my street around 7:30am. I could sense I was being followed but could not see anyone. I was punched twice in the back of the head, as i fell forw... View more

21 years old & terified about what the future holds for me.In 2012 on the 6th of July I was walking down my street around 7:30am. I could sense I was being followed but could not see anyone. I was punched twice in the back of the head, as i fell forward someone caught me from behind with their large hand covering my mouth. (I will not go into detail as to what then occurred but i was sexually assaulted) Police were called which i almost feel made it even more traumatic as i was in shock and being asked to provide very intimate details. For the next year i experienced flashbacks, severe depression, severe anxiety and bad dreams. I kept this my secret as i could not burden my family with something i still didnt understand. My partner was my main support. I eventually exploded and decided to see a psychologist. I remeber feeling soo ill, my partner drove me and came to the initial appt. Every appointment was exhausting, an emotional battle. I would debate whether going would help or make the pain worse. I figured i had suffered enough and accepted that it was goung to be an emotional rollercoaster and that i needed help. After several sessions the flashbacks and bad dreams were getting worse. My bad dreams of that day were being incorporated into another dream. I kept having this same dream for a couple of weeks. I told my psychologist that it was all getting too much but she encouraged me to keep up appointments as i had come so far. In December 2012 i went to work just like any other day and experienced such an intense flashback my body went into shock and i collapsed. I struggled to comprehend what day, year or where i was. My boss assured me i was in a safe place and sat wiith me until it was over. My flashback was not from my assault in July but was from when i was 17 still in high school. I explained this to my psychologist as i was so confused and scared at the fact that how can something like this happen and i have no recollection of it?! She explained that the mind tends to block things out when it goes into shock and can not process a traumatic event. I had one more appointment with her after that and then never saw her again. I was not ready to go on another emotional rollercoaster. I am still suffering, i feel dirty all the time, i have trouble being intimate, i fear what the future holds, fear of men and crowded places. I just need to know that i am not alone.

cherrycola PTSD/Flashbacks after partner's near fatal accident
  • replies: 2

In November last year my fiance was involved in a motorcycle accident and broke both of his elbows and wrists (his right elbow may be limited for the rest of his life due to the extent of the injuries), had a frontal lobe injury with blood on the bra... View more

In November last year my fiance was involved in a motorcycle accident and broke both of his elbows and wrists (his right elbow may be limited for the rest of his life due to the extent of the injuries), had a frontal lobe injury with blood on the brain, blood in his lungs and a few other things. He spent two days in ICU with a tube down his throat and when he woke up in ICU he was barely coherent and in so much pain. He then spent another week in the ICU/HDU before being moved to an orthopaedic ward and having multiple surgeries. When he was in the ICU, I didn't know if he would even remember or be able to say my name when he woke up. He also broke his C7 spine and was close to being paralyzed. I have been struggling with a few things since then. I get EXTREMELY anxious and panicked when he doesnt respond to my text and calls, have constant memories and flashbacks of what he looked like in the ICU and hospital, and constant thoughts about what might happen to him in the future and what I would do if anything was to transpire. I cannot switch these thoughts off no matter how hard I try. We also lost our cat early this year to a car, and I have overlapping memories of his crushed face too, which then turn into memories of what state my partner must have been in/looked like directly after his accident (I was not on the scene but he was very injured). I also constantly think about what it must have been like for him for the last 6 months as he has dealt with so much pain, suffering and disappointment. He is also struggling with extreme depression and suicidal thoughts which I have to help him through too. I feel clingy because I now constantly have to talk to my partner when I am away from him so that I know he is still alive. 50% of the time it's not because I miss him, or want to talk to him, I literally need to make sure he is still alive. These thoughts have been invading my head for months now. I already have GAD which I thought was bad previous to this, but now I experience anxiety like I never have before and have started having small panic attacks which are new too. I guess I'm just looking to talk to some people who understand what going through something like this does to you both mentally and physically. I feel like I've only brushed over the depth of this but it's overwhelming to even write about.

nobully Bullying at school can affect your entire life.
  • replies: 4

I was bullied at school not only by the kids but one real mean teacher. I kept it quiet from family because I didn't want to appear weak. The trauma created by Bullying at school can affect your entire life. I grew up not trusting anybody and had a f... View more

I was bullied at school not only by the kids but one real mean teacher. I kept it quiet from family because I didn't want to appear weak. The trauma created by Bullying at school can affect your entire life. I grew up not trusting anybody and had a fear of trying anything new in case people made fun of me. I still have very little faith in myself and my abilities and my self esteem is very low. I have auditory processing disorder which makes it very hard to focus and learn. Having this disorder at school, along with the stress of being bullied it became incredibly difficult to learn resulting in people labelling me dumb. I have 2 young sons now and get very defensive if they are bullied. Thankfully it hasn't been as bad for them. I do however have a niece who is very sensitive and was bullied for most her school years. She also doubts her abilities, has low self esteem and when she was around 10 developed obsessive compulsive disorder. There are a lot of schools out there that just are not doing enough to stop this. There were some incidents with my niece that should have resulted in the bullies being expelled from the school. Instead they were simply told not to do it again. My son had trouble at the same school. I told his teacher twice that a certain boy was being nasty to him. She did nothing a couple of weeks later the same boy was given an award for being considerate to others (even though he was still being nasty to my son.) My son and niece soon left the school. I now believe the same school is down to less than half the students. One of my hobbies is to write and record my own music. Most of my songs contain a message.I'm not the greatest musician but I do want to get my message across and maybe help inspire victims of bullies.

trace87 i know im shutting down again. i dont know what to do.
  • replies: 1

Hi. Im 29 female. My life has been packed with major events most negative some positive but short lived. At the age of 5 my parents divorced and docs put me in foster care for 6 months (my mothers friends who were orginally looking after us belted me... View more

Hi. Im 29 female. My life has been packed with major events most negative some positive but short lived. At the age of 5 my parents divorced and docs put me in foster care for 6 months (my mothers friends who were orginally looking after us belted me up. The school notified docs.) In this time my sister was at home with my mother. I returned home to who would soon become my step dad in the kitchen and our babysitter in the loungeroom. By age 6 i got first visitation with my father since the divorce. Things settled a bit from there. Age 17 xmas school holiday visiting dad. (He lived on acres in the country.) He went to the shop which was 2 hours away. And never returned. The police came to the house and announced he was in a fatal accident. The following day mum comes to get me. From here im never the same. I get back to school and the whole school knows. This was the first time i felt so numb, i didnt eat. I didnt talk. I wanted to be with him. I blamed myself as i was meant to be in the car too but took too long in the bathroom that day. By age 19 i meet a lovely guy at the dance club. We hit it off and are together 2.5 years. In this time we live together and get engaged. By age 22 we split. He stopped coming home. I chucked a sicky from work and went to his parents to find him with their neighbour, 6months after this my nan and pop pass away. Again im devistated and start believing i am cursed. I dedicate my time to work keeping the roof over my head and adopt a pup from the pound. Things go smooth again. 26 after 10years service at work im bullied so bad i attempt to finish myself but see my litte dog and i stop. From here im in house lockdown with family to rehab. I rehab and get a new job. New place and meet someone special. Now we have been together on n off 6 years. In that time i have been up and down. Cheated on n caught him but for some reason keep coming back. Sad part is we are living together now. And although he has changed alot and there are no others now. Im beginning to think its too late that im already too numb toward him after all this time, we live in seperate rooms. I started a new job 4 months ago. And im on workers comp for a shoulder injury and workplace descrimination. (Im the only female there). I feel myself cracking. The hopelessness and depression keep me awake at all hours. Im shutting down again Nothing no matter how hard ive faught or tried has ever panned out how ive hoped. I dont know wht my purpose is. Im lost.

AaronD PTSD episode on mountain debacle
  • replies: 2

Hi, This is my first post on here so please be gentle.I have a hobby making beads where proceeds go towards beyondblue and the Westpac Rescue Chopper.I had an episode on top of a mountain last week, however trying to turn that negative into a positiv... View more

Hi, This is my first post on here so please be gentle.I have a hobby making beads where proceeds go towards beyondblue and the Westpac Rescue Chopper.I had an episode on top of a mountain last week, however trying to turn that negative into a positive through ;IGY.The last week has been a real head spin, but I think I'm doing better now.Anyway please feel free to chat;IGY

Bobbie64 I keep losing time and dissociating and life just keeps throwing up one thing after another
  • replies: 2

Hi, This is the first time I have gone onto a forum so feeling overwhelmed. I am struggling really badly right now as I got diagnosed almost 2 years ago with DID. Prior to this I had a diagnosis of Chronic PTSD but this all changed when I lost my 23 ... View more

Hi, This is the first time I have gone onto a forum so feeling overwhelmed. I am struggling really badly right now as I got diagnosed almost 2 years ago with DID. Prior to this I had a diagnosis of Chronic PTSD but this all changed when I lost my 23 year old son 2 years ago. He needed to reach out for help and didn't know where to turn and now my whole life is upside down. It set off too many memories and I have been in and out of hospital for almost 2 years. I feel like nobody gets me, well guess in a way I got even understand what is going on in my own head apart from I keep losing time and dissociating and life just keeps throwing up one thing after another. Does anyone else have this diagnosis and i guess even if not going through severe depression and anxiety would be why many people are here. How can we change our thinking to be more positive when every day is such a struggle and there feels like there is no hope. I have a really good psychiatrist, however because i moved states my sessions are by skype so it is hard to talk about really indepth stuff as it means no support as such afterwards. Does anyone have any suggestions that have helped them? Thanks