PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Daz06 Losing my mind (trigger warning: child sexual abuse)
  • replies: 2

Im losing my mind, my anxiety has gone to a whole new level, cant think straight, forgetting things names times places, just sad withdrawn cant see the way forward or dont want to go forward, can't see a way forward. 4 year's ago we witness our then ... View more

Im losing my mind, my anxiety has gone to a whole new level, cant think straight, forgetting things names times places, just sad withdrawn cant see the way forward or dont want to go forward, can't see a way forward. 4 year's ago we witness our then 4 year old boy being sexually assulted, I went into severe depression, i made a monumental mistake at work which led to a criminal conviction, we lost our house and savings because I was not strong enough to cope, now we have to go to Brisbane for mediation to resolve my sons pending court case, this has reignited severe depression &severe anxiety im just not coping i can feel myself withdrawing more each day, knowing that I have to face all the details of this horrible situation.

Mirror My ex cheated tried to kill me and now im lost
  • replies: 3

It all started 10 years ago he tried to kill me got off on charges i took him back than he had a affair i took him back than he dissappeared now i have found he is with another woman am i an idiot? I cant sleep am anxious and its a nightmare help im ... View more

It all started 10 years ago he tried to kill me got off on charges i took him back than he had a affair i took him back than he dissappeared now i have found he is with another woman am i an idiot? I cant sleep am anxious and its a nightmare help im 54

bell_shell Grounding yourself with flashbacks
  • replies: 6

Hey I'm not normally one to post online, especially not about this. I have been seeing a psychologist for about 6months on and off and i don't feel like I'm getting anywhere. Every session we talk about how to ground myself when having anxiety or a f... View more

Hey I'm not normally one to post online, especially not about this. I have been seeing a psychologist for about 6months on and off and i don't feel like I'm getting anywhere. Every session we talk about how to ground myself when having anxiety or a flashback sort of thing, but i don't feel like I can explain to her how bad it's getting. I don't know if I'm overreacting or if I should actually say something, I've gone from completely blocking out the event to having a nightmare almost every night about it and feeling nauseas/numb mostly everyday constantly. I feel depressed and am trying to hide it with smiles all day and it is so exhausting, even when i go to see her i feel like i need to act happier than I am. I think I'm just not sure what to do or if this is how it's supposed to go. Sorry for babbling on!

Darkdayswithsunnyskies35 Post traumatic stress disorder
  • replies: 3

I saw a new psycharatrist today. He was amazing! Got so much out of the first session. After years of being suicidal and put on different meds it was so nice to have someone understand me. It's like he had been there watching my story my whole life. ... View more

I saw a new psycharatrist today. He was amazing! Got so much out of the first session. After years of being suicidal and put on different meds it was so nice to have someone understand me. It's like he had been there watching my story my whole life. I feel so relieved and hopeful that with more sessions I'll finally be free from childhood trauma.

Elizabeth CP Feeling extremely anxious due to PTSD trigger need advice to calm down
  • replies: 17

I was doing OK for the last few days and on track with goals set by my therapist. I probably pushed myself too hard today so I am exhausted hence no resilience. There is a smell of smoke in the air and reports of bushfires. They are nowhere near me a... View more

I was doing OK for the last few days and on track with goals set by my therapist. I probably pushed myself too hard today so I am exhausted hence no resilience. There is a smell of smoke in the air and reports of bushfires. They are nowhere near me and I have checked the website to confirm I am not in physical danger. Unfortunately telling myself I am safe doesn't change the reaction I am having. I need to calm down and stop worrying but I can't.

Gruffudd Going back to the place
  • replies: 4

I try to avoid it but most of the depression and anxiety are related to a traumatic thing that happened as a teenager. The place it happened is in a park near some train lines. The trouble with that spot is that it can't be avoided. Particularly as I... View more

I try to avoid it but most of the depression and anxiety are related to a traumatic thing that happened as a teenager. The place it happened is in a park near some train lines. The trouble with that spot is that it can't be avoided. Particularly as I haven't told most people close to me that it happened, so to say anything is to let out something I don't want them to know. Moving interstate didn't get me far enough away as mother has moved to a house where when I stay there is a view from the bedroom window in the direction of that place. I can hear the trains passing which can make for bad dreams. Last time I was there I went past on the way to the station and saw there were some diggers making a hole for the NBN. I thought, at last it is being destroyed. But it hasn't. This week back here interstate the diggers are working on the NBN, it is triggering the memories, I am right there again seeing what I saw, feeling it, the smell, everything. I am beginning to think that I don't much want super fast broadband. I certainly don't want a trigger to follow me all the way back here. One psychologist told me to make it just another part of the landscape and not to let it have that power. I think I have done fairly well at that over the last 20 years, but then I seem to be developing quite a strong reaction to diggers and NBN equipment.

Sadmummy My first step to getting help (trigger warning: abuse)
  • replies: 15

My hubby wants me to go to a therapist or start on some pills. im not keen on either of those treatments so thought I would try and find a safe place to vent. a rather Long summary of things weighing on my mind most days a) 18 months ago my 2nd child... View more

My hubby wants me to go to a therapist or start on some pills. im not keen on either of those treatments so thought I would try and find a safe place to vent. a rather Long summary of things weighing on my mind most days a) 18 months ago my 2nd child was sexually assaulted by my brother which caused a massive rift between me and my mother and made me feel isolated and alone because she used to be my first go to vent person. b) 9 months ago the same child was physically abused by a biological parent and opened a huge can of worms court battles etc in regards to 1st and 2nd children. C) same child has diagnosed behavioural issues and can be extremely challenging. Add in two massively traumatic life experiences and it is very hard to watch this child suffering. d) 3rd child is experiencing behavioural issues too e) I feel unappreciated and not respected by my kids and sometimes hubby also. F) I feel like I am always doing things or trying to please everyone else. I have not enough time or energy to do everything and no part of my individual person left g) financial issues. Not on struggle street but huge amounts of debt thanks to custody court etc and means working 4 days a week and hubby working a lot of hours. Putting off plans such as buying a home, having another child etc h) really wanting another baby but knowing it is not going to happen due to cost and situation and other existing children's special needs i) thinking my relationship is the only good thing going for me for my hubby to turn around and say we are suffering because of my low moods and decreased libido and basically saying that he can't do it much longer j) my mother burdening me with her secret about childhood abuse by a family member and expecting me to not tell anyone in the family because she dealt with it by sweeping it under the rug. And then having my extended family basically disown me because she has told them I've kept the kids away from her. K) my in laws lack of love for 3rd child (not hubbys bio kid). They make it reasonably obvious 3rd child is different to the others. And 3rd child's bio parent brainwashing to think that in laws aren't allowed to be called family. i think that covers the most of it. But mostly I am just exhausted physically and mentally. And I don't know who to talk to.

Nancy27 Blocked Memories of Abuse
  • replies: 2

Hi, I am new to BB and have been struggling with mental illness for as long as I can remember. I saw a psychologist two years ago when I got to a very low point. During these sessions, we spoke about sexual abuse when I was a child. I was abused by t... View more

Hi, I am new to BB and have been struggling with mental illness for as long as I can remember. I saw a psychologist two years ago when I got to a very low point. During these sessions, we spoke about sexual abuse when I was a child. I was abused by two separate 'family' members. one from when I was very little. I have never told any other person about this. Though I can not remember a lot of my child hood, from what I can remember, what my sister remembers and one offending family members path in life, the psychologist has said that she believes that my brain has not been able to deal with the trauma as a child and has blocked details to protect myself. After having meetings with her, I remembered more details, but still don't know what happened to me. I don't know what is worse, thinking about it and not knowing, or if I should seek help to unlock these memories. Has anyone else had blocked memories?? I had been going okay but the last few weeks I have completely lost my way again, I am so sad all the time, I can't sleep but am soo tired and I feel like crying at nothing. I have never told anyone apart from psychologist about the abuse, because I feel like I should be protecting everyone else. If I told my husband every time he went to touch me he would think of it, and I don't know how he would react to my family if I told him who it was. I cant talk to my mother, I have never been able to really speak to her about personal things. And I cant bring myself to tell my best friend who I love to bits because I don't want to burden her. My heart is so heavy right now. Thank you for listening

simmy_grace Have You Ever Felt Like You Were Beginning To Lose Yourself? This Is My Struggle With Anxiety & Depression.
  • replies: 3

I am 28 years old and I have always been a bright and happy person who loves life and has big dreams. I have a beautiful family, gorgeous friends, a wonderful job at a hospital working with lovely people, and I have a big passion for music, singing, ... View more

I am 28 years old and I have always been a bright and happy person who loves life and has big dreams. I have a beautiful family, gorgeous friends, a wonderful job at a hospital working with lovely people, and I have a big passion for music, singing, and dancing.Four years ago I was asked out on a date which I said yes to, and when I met up with this person for our date It wasn't until they got into my car that I realised that they were intoxicated. I was scared and I didn't want to make a scene so I tried to pretend that everything was ok and did my absolute best to maintain friendly conversation with him. As time went on in our date I told him I wasn't feeling well and that I needed to go home and he was totally fine with it, but as I got closer to the destination of where I was dropping him off his personality instantly changed.I ended up in hospital overnight as I had been assaulted so badly, and I found out from the police that the man that did this to me was found and instantly sent straight to jail for 3 months due to his extensive criminal history...which I had no idea about.I was so upset with myself, I was devastated in my poor judgement not knowing how dangerous this person was, and I was so scared about breaking this news about what this person had done to me..I felt like a disgrace.After this incident I began to get really bad anxiety which I tried to seek help for by talking to councillors but I felt like nothing was working. I tried very hard for the next few years to manage this on my own but in the last 12 months I have started to feel very dark, empty, numb, extremely sad, and feeling like Im losing myself. After seeking help from my GP I have been diagnosed with moderate to severe anxiety and depression, and I am now on medication for both, and I have made an appointment to see a Psychologist.My mum who is very supportive told me to look at the Beyond Blue website, and I thought I would share my story with you all. I am really struggling today, I don't trust people, I wake up not knowing how Im going to feel, and when I'm anxious or feeling down its really debilitating.I know its a long road ahead, but I look forward to feeling my normal happy self again.

Solosombra Don't want too sleep! I think I'm in trouble?
  • replies: 5

Does anyone else get this way? The last couple of years my sleeping patterns have gotten considerably worse due to very vivid flash backs and/or dreams I am now having! I have considered asking my doctor about possible sleep medication but am relucta... View more

Does anyone else get this way? The last couple of years my sleeping patterns have gotten considerably worse due to very vivid flash backs and/or dreams I am now having! I have considered asking my doctor about possible sleep medication but am reluctant as I don't want too become dependant on them too get too sleep but I feel like I am running out of ideas! Any help/advice is appreciated Kiamau