Immediate support
Immediate support

PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

All discussions

Start a discussion

white knight Abusive parents and their effect on us, their children
  • replies: 44

In my case I never saw the treatment of me by my mother as being abused. No doubt in my mind the reason is- she would ty to convince me that her treatment of me is for discipline reasons or its how all parents bring up their children. It wasn’t until... View more

In my case I never saw the treatment of me by my mother as being abused. No doubt in my mind the reason is- she would ty to convince me that her treatment of me is for discipline reasons or its how all parents bring up their children. It wasn’t until I became an adult, around 21yo that I realised this level of control will never end. My tolerance lasted till I was 54yo and then the relationship, well I terminated it. The last 6 years have been wonderful, there was no other way. So if a child feels so aggrieved by his/her parent that there is no other option but to disown there must be something serious that has been ongoing for a long time. The problem is, that the parent is often in denial, for “I’m the parent” attitude often prevails in their mind if they are a controller. Might is right! No it isn’t parent- RIGHT IS RIGHT.! Lets go back a few generations. Say 1900. This period might be your great grandfathers time as a toddler. My granddad was one year old then. Many parents had traditional methods of parenting. Physical slapping or forcing children to do things was the norm. Dad was the law and mum was his servant unless mum possessed some incredible ways of manipulation in order to get things done her way. And her safety wasn’t secure either in many cases. Now 116 years isn’t that long ago in generation periods. Just 3-4 generations. I’m mentioning this because if that old fashioned method of life behind close door was adopted by the tyrants child and the grandchild…you could well be the next child to be abused. The handing down of methods of bringing up a child hadn’t changed regardless of its unacceptability in the modern world. However, as adults of the modern world with these forms of control becoming unacceptable we know it is wrong and we rebel. I can recall when my kids were babies. We were told not to breast feed, what to feed them, that we weren’t good parents, that we should be living in a home of more quality standard, that I should work more hours and “get a better job”. These expectations were unsustainable. My tolerance was finite. When this happens it is abuse. It’s at least “stepping over the line”. For your own mental health and stability begin to set your boundaries. Be clear, direct, consistent, firm, fair and allow some time for it all to sink in. Then if all fails don’t feel guilty. You did your best with a parent that didn’t want limits to their control. You were a puppet seen no other way. Tony WK

csm64 Not coping following traumatic 18 months. Not sure who can help.
  • replies: 6

My husband suffered a severe headache Xmas 2014. He went to the Dr several times but was told it was stress & sent home with paracetamol. Late Xmas day I took him to hospital & he was in a helicopter to Sydney within an hour. He had a ruptured aneury... View more

My husband suffered a severe headache Xmas 2014. He went to the Dr several times but was told it was stress & sent home with paracetamol. Late Xmas day I took him to hospital & he was in a helicopter to Sydney within an hour. He had a ruptured aneurysm & was close to death. We live 6 hours away so I raced home & grabbed my sons & we drove thru the night to Sydney. Early the next day he had surgery & with luck & a great surgeon he survived. We were told he was extremely fortunate not to have stroke like symptoms & we should not worry as the chance of recurrence was very small. All settled back down until June 2015. He had a routine scan to & we were told they had found 2 new aneurysms located in his brain. We were told all of the facts & had to decide. Surgery carried a risk of 40% death, 40% disability and 20% success. If he chose not to have surgery the risk of rupture started at 15% per year and increased approx 15% per year for the rest of his life. Because of our remote location & his previous problems rupture was likely fatal. Our son was getting married in August so we decided to consider all the info & make a decision after the wedding. Within a few days of deciding this my husband said he couldnt live with this hanging over him, he couldnt sleep & couldnt concentrate on anything else so we rang our neurosurgeon to book a surgery date as soon as possible after the wedding. We had a beautiful day celebrating our sons big day although everyone was acutely aware of the upcoming surgery. We both took 3 months leave from work and spent a fortnight at the coast together before the surgery. All the time anxious of what lay ahead. On November 8th 2015 my husband was led away to theatre and we waited. After about 5 hours we had a call to come to the ICU. The Drs were confident the aneurysms had been successfully treated. Now we just had to wait for him to wake up and see if his speech, sight etc was ok. Luckily everything was fine. He was discharged a few days later but I was hesitant to return home so far from hospital. Just as well as he had an allergic reaction to a medication and ended up back in hospital for 2 days. Now we are home and returning to 'normal' life but I just cant settle. I worry all the time, I cant eat or sleep. I cant concentrate at work, I cry a lot for no apparent reason. I know I should be happy everything is ok but I just cant and I dont know what to do or who to turn to. Thanks for listening to me rave on.

lector Unemployed, homeless, violent background, feeling overwhelmed
  • replies: 3

hi a little about myself...l am bipolar 1, ptsd,personality disorders, anxious and possibly depressed, im also unemployed and have been homeless for nearly a year now...l have spent a lot of my life in & out of psychiatric units, sometimes against my... View more

hi a little about myself...l am bipolar 1, ptsd,personality disorders, anxious and possibly depressed, im also unemployed and have been homeless for nearly a year now...l have spent a lot of my life in & out of psychiatric units, sometimes against my will, l come from a violent upbringing & family so l got to watch a lot of my friends & family members die, often in tragic circumstances...l am a substance abuser,have been since l was twelve, often to cope with the violence at home...l am disconnected from my two children, friends(only 2 left), and family who no longer want to be a part of my life which l understand because l have caused a lot of pain, to them family and friends.. l am completely detached from society. My support network is gone & doctors have told me they no longer know how to help, im in the too hard basket & am not young anymore, im in my late 30's. You could say that l am currently overwhelmed and while a positive attitude is a must, especially when hardest hit, its becoming extremely difficult to initiate this positivity in my current climate. The question is, can one come back from so many obstacles & no support networks? ps because of my homelessness & never staying in the one place more than a day or so l am told that support services can only help me if l stay in the catchment areas...this is most times impossible to do due to safety concerns, police harrassment and fear of abuse. While l live by my motto NEVER EVER GIVE UP, l hope l can maintain hope...thats all l have left. thanks for allowing me to vent...best wishes and good health to all you members out there, hopefully a silver lining awaits us all

autumngreen Emotional abuse
  • replies: 14

Hello, I'm new here so I apologise if I am posting the in the wrong section. I've been searching the Internet for help and advice and any information I can gather about emotional abuse and just generally need to get this out. ive been with my husband... View more

Hello, I'm new here so I apologise if I am posting the in the wrong section. I've been searching the Internet for help and advice and any information I can gather about emotional abuse and just generally need to get this out. ive been with my husband for 20 years so ther is a lot of back story but I will try to write the main points. My husband is a doctor, a specialist. I have always been the one to do all the initiating, if I don't touch him we don't touch, if I don't talk we remain silent. He has rejected me sexually in the past. He doesn't use my name he will just talk at me, he doesn't try to kiss or touch me, he doesn't recognise/talk about my achievements or accomplishments, he won't say happy birthday to me and if he does give me a card he won't write my name on it, it's like I don't have an identity. When I delivered our kids he wouldn't go to any antenatal or scan appointments and would not hug, kiss or congratulate me when I had the baby..I have had cancer and needed an excision, he complained to me that he needed to take an afternoon off work to allow this to happen. years later he mocked me about it. He's very cold and appears to be in control but is passive aggressive and will often agree to things only to later shout at me. recently, and getting to my question, for years I have taken care of the kids, no help, no family or babysitters. we have 6 kids And u am so busy that I needed to hire a babysitter for two 4 hr mornings per week to help me, not for me, for them. He has encouraged me to get a babysitter yet as soon as I hired her, he told me I am lazy and that I do nothing for the kids. I was hurt by this and asked him why he treats me the way he does and in the space of 15 minutes he told me in his 'I'm a doctor and your a nobody voice' : you have OCD (trust me I do not). you have narcissistic personality disorder, you're just trying to have a go at me, I can have you committed. if I say something he doesn't like, this is what I hear. He denies and deflects everything. As he is a doctor, he thinks he can push me around and label me with disorders. I can't speak or ask him anything about his behaviour toward me without being shouted at. I asked him to help the children pick up toys and he told me I have OCD. There is so much more than this but I can't write it all. I just need to know what other people think because I can't talk to anybody else about this and I'm starting to feel the west and tear of this. Thank you.

Ash_c_munny new member - domestic violence
  • replies: 3

Hi i have never been on anything like this before but today i have hit rock bottom amd it all started a year ago when i was in a domestic violent relationship and i finally had the courage to tell someone about it amd take actioni decided to not go t... View more

Hi i have never been on anything like this before but today i have hit rock bottom amd it all started a year ago when i was in a domestic violent relationship and i finally had the courage to tell someone about it amd take actioni decided to not go to work and go to a family friends amd tell them everything and the police were called and i had him charged..even though it has been nearly a year i struggle with it everyday the smallest things can remind me of tje most horrible things i had gone through i have been to the doctors alot over the past few weeks and have now been told i have ptsd this is something i wamt to be able to overcome and i just wanted to talk to people that may understand as not everyone does and it is hard to talk to them thank you to who ever has taken the time to read part of my storey and i look forward to trying to help people but also maybe get the support and help from you guys aswell

Ailsa I've had enough.
  • replies: 7

I have had enough of trying to deal with my thoughts and feelings every second of every day. My past haunts me and no matter how I try to cope with it, it never gets easier. After 16 years of the most horrific abuse and torture, and 22 years of tryin... View more

I have had enough of trying to deal with my thoughts and feelings every second of every day. My past haunts me and no matter how I try to cope with it, it never gets easier. After 16 years of the most horrific abuse and torture, and 22 years of trying to cope with it and live a 'normal' life, I've had enough. I self harm extensively and I often think about going that one step further, it would be so easy..........I've had enough! I go to counselling, have done on and off for 10 years and I am in touch with my GP, nothing helps. All of my memories are in my head all the time.........I've had enough.........I don't know what to do now.

justnotsure Fed up with being abused and threatened by my 16 year old son
  • replies: 8

I am fed up and have had enough. My teenage son who is addicted to marijuana abuses me, threatens me and is so disrespectful everyday. It isn't just me he doesn't care who he does it to but I am the one that cops it the most. We have holes in almost ... View more

I am fed up and have had enough. My teenage son who is addicted to marijuana abuses me, threatens me and is so disrespectful everyday. It isn't just me he doesn't care who he does it to but I am the one that cops it the most. We have holes in almost every wall in our house from him, he has wrecked so much of our stuff, damaged our sheds and fences the list just goes on and on. Today he got so close to my face in a heated moment that his fringe was touching my forehead. He came so close to hitting me twice today. He sold my daughters tv today to buy his fix. I got the police out and again like every other time nothing happens. My marriage is suffering because of his behaviour, my eldest child has moved out because she no longer felt safe. We no longer feel safe. I have tried all sorts of counselling but he won't attend anything. He doesn't go to school, he doesn't work. I have got no idea what to do next as I am about to burst. We need serious urgent help but I have no idea. Would love him to go to one of those boot camps where they get there anger out and then chat it out and figure out what is wrong but again where do you start. Thepolice told me to kick him out. Where would he go? To be honest I don't care. I have lost all my motherly feelings for him he has just dragged me so far down that I don't care anymore..next time it happens which won't be far away he will hit me then the police will do something. Any suggestions. Thank you

Noreen Approx 6mths ago diagnosed with chronic non-melancholic depression with severe PTSD. Recent relapse with work hour reduction by employer.
  • replies: 6

Hi, I've recently relapsed. Just after my employer reduced my work hours, about 6weeks ago. I'm a health professional, so the 'I should be able to get myself out of this' hangs over me every day. I have been in practice for 2 years and struggling to ... View more

Hi, I've recently relapsed. Just after my employer reduced my work hours, about 6weeks ago. I'm a health professional, so the 'I should be able to get myself out of this' hangs over me every day. I have been in practice for 2 years and struggling to build my client base...every set back feels like it could end me. I think about quitting and going back to admin. I know what to do and have started, over the last 2 weeks, getting up at 6am, walking (started to jog) with my partner and dog. Eat nutritiously, trying to keep to low processed foods, low caffeine (trying to eliminate), low sugar, high vege, protein and fat content foods. Journalling, I see a psychologist every fortnight, talking mostly about how inept I feel at parenting and trying to build skills. I really am crap at parenting. I came from a dysfunctional broken family with lots of trauma, so that is all I have to go off re: skills. I try hard to right this, but I feel that my mental illness makes it so difficult, as I get really anxious. I really rarely enjoy it. So sad and I hope I haven't damaged my kids too much with all the flashbacks and yelling (part of the PTSD)...so much guilt there. It floors me when it happens. Like today, we were running late for school because my daughter couldn't find her hairbrush, so I yelled at her, that it's her fault I'll be late for work, told her I wanted to not be her parent anymore, that it's all too hard. Then I spent the drive to school crying and apologising to her. Drove back home and called into work sick to lay on the couch for the day. It sucks. I hate it and 2 psychologists have not yet been able to help me stop. Taking 5HTP has helped a little - my idea. I've run out, thinking, maybe I don't have to take it anymore...will order more now! See this forum helping already Had another setback a few months ago when I experienced abdominal pain and ended up with appendectomy...during 2 weeks recovery at home I felt suicidal. I hope to find support here, as I've got no real friends to turn too...their all to bloody busy with their families and I'm afraid I'll wear my little sister out, as she is the only one, apart from my partner (who doesn't 'get it') who I confide in. I confided in my best friend when I got my diagnosis, 6mths ago and she walked out on me...12 years of friendship and it was that easy for her to walk away! Hence why I find it really hard to trust others with my heart.

feeling_lost Unhappy Relationship - Abuse (Physical, Mental, Emotional)
  • replies: 10

I am a 21 year old female who has very recently been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder (prescribed medication - started medication in 01/03/2016) I have been in a relationship with my partner for 14 months. In February 2015 I fell pregnant to ... View more

I am a 21 year old female who has very recently been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder (prescribed medication - started medication in 01/03/2016) I have been in a relationship with my partner for 14 months. In February 2015 I fell pregnant to him, and in March 2015 I found out I had a miscarriage. After the miscarriage, my partner proposed to me; to which I said yes. Ever since then we have argued about anything and everything. To begin with it would just be yelling and screaming because we both have trust issues. Then it would turn into physical abuse (mainly on his behalf to begin with, but after a while of being hit around, I too would become quite violent) For the past three months our relationship has been VERY rocky and VERY abusive. I find it mainly due to financial issues (I work full time, he doesn't work at all due to a broken wrist) so I find myself taking care of a majority of food, bills, rent etc. When I approach him for assistance with something, whether it be money, housework, someone to talk to etc. he ignores me and doesn't give me the time of day, which is why my depression has become so bad. We call each other names, throw objects at each other, push, shove, hit and scratch, but lately I have found that I am the one who has a VERY short temper and I will tend to hit things around me instead of my partner (e.g doors, walls, windows) I do not have a very good relationship with my family, so due to this I feel as though my partner is the only person who I can run to, and he makes this known to me by saying things like 'You have no one else but me, don't f*ck around or I will leave you' He makes me feel as though I have something 'mentally wrong' with me, but I don't know what to do about it or who to talk to. I am terrified of losing the man that I love because of my temper and the fact that I feel as though I am unable to just sit and have a conversation with him without getting overly emotional or temperamental. I have been referred to a psychotherapist for further treatment, but I would like to know who I can speak to or what I can do in the meantime because I'm afraid if I don't do something soon; I will lose my job, my house and the man I love. Any help or recommendations would be greatly appreciated.

Jetson Alone - domestic Volience
  • replies: 7

Good evening - I'm new to these forums but I find myself at home alone on this Saturday night for the first time in around 10 months after a domestic violence relationship break up. I'm struggling big time with depression, guilt and sadness.

Good evening - I'm new to these forums but I find myself at home alone on this Saturday night for the first time in around 10 months after a domestic violence relationship break up. I'm struggling big time with depression, guilt and sadness.