PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

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Sophie_M If you need to talk about Bondi Beach - Our community is here
  • replies: 8

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Aus... View more

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Australia and we extend our heartfelt condolences to the individuals and families affected by this tragedy. We wanted to create a space where you can share whatever you’re feeling - whether that’s fear, shock, grief, or anything else that has come up for you. If you need support from others in the community, please feel welcome to post here. Violence and acts of terror can bring feelings of shock, grief, profound sadness, anger and fear. It’s normal to experience these emotions while trying to make sense of distressing events. It may take time for these feelings to ease, but it’s never too early to seek support if you are feeling distressed. Beyond Blue is here for you anytime, by phone on 1300 224 636 or via webchat: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/talk-to-a-counsellor You can also support those around you by being available to them and listening. Thank you for being such an important part of this community, and for the kindness, honesty, and wisdom you continue to share with each other. We remind the community that Beyond Blue is here for all people in Australia, no matter what you believe, how you live or who you worship. Kind regards Sophie M

A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

All discussions

Sir_Duke (Trigger warning: sexual abuse) Full of anger, confusion and depression - and I am not the one having to deal with the real problems
  • replies: 5

I am angry! Angry at my partner's parents for being so hopeless and compounding the problems that my beautiful partner, S, is facing up to and dealing with. S had a horrible childhood at the hands of her brother who bullied, physically assaulted, int... View more

I am angry! Angry at my partner's parents for being so hopeless and compounding the problems that my beautiful partner, S, is facing up to and dealing with. S had a horrible childhood at the hands of her brother who bullied, physically assaulted, intimidated and generally made her life hell from the age of 9. Her parents also bore witness to his wrath and were themselves assaulted and threatened with violence - even a knife. The police were called to their house on 5 occasions, by their neighbours, during his explosive 'episodes', (never by them though as the Mother would not allow such a thing to be done -BTW she is a psychiatrist wet dream with compound issues of delusional behaviour, egotism, eating disorders, etc. and has caused her own level of trauma to S through her self-serving emotional bullying- and yes S's mother was abused as a child too). Over the past 2 years S's emotional state has deteriorated. Despite a very comfortable lifestyle with everything one could want S has been wrestling with her past and the repressed monster inside of her finally broke out. Fortunately we got to a safe place so S could seek treatment. It transpires that S was also sexually abused on several occasions by her brother - commencing at the age of 9. She didn't tell her parents at the time and they now show no interest in hearing what she has/needs to say or facing up to the reality of what happened. S has been admitted to the clinic twice and I fear she will need to go back again soon as I simply can't keep her safe from herself. I have tried to tell her parents that she needs them to hear her and what she has to say. There is simply no way that they couldn't have put 2 and 2 together and worked out that their son raped their daughter! She has told them that her brother, physically, mentally, emotionally and sexually abused her and that is why she is going into hospital for treatment but their response is 'it happened in the past - there is no benefit to reliving it all -you need to get over it!' She is being so brave to face up to her past and work through it - and I know she can be successful - but the additional layer of her parents dismissing it, not supporting her and worse still not wanting to believe her, might be more than she can manage. I am doing everything I can to support. I am scared for her and I am so angry at her parents - I want to blurt it all out to them but know it is not my place to do so. I just want what's best for S.

Chris_B The Melbourne CBD tragedy - dealing with the emotional impact of a traumatic event
  • replies: 5

Hi everyone, I was in Bourke St yesterday and spent time at the community memorial outside the old GPO building. Flowers and cards covering the pavement, crowds of people just standing and taking it all in. To anyone reading who may be feeling overwh... View more

Hi everyone, I was in Bourke St yesterday and spent time at the community memorial outside the old GPO building. Flowers and cards covering the pavement, crowds of people just standing and taking it all in. To anyone reading who may be feeling overwhelmed or distressed by the tragedy that has occurred, this is a space to share your thoughts and get support. Below are some tips taken from the beyondblue resource "Emotional responses after a disaster": DO * Spend time with people who care * Give yourself time * Find out about the impact of trauma and what to expect * Try to keep a routine going, eg. work, study * Return to normal activities * Talk about how you feel or what happened when ready * Do things that help you relax * Do things that you enjoy * Set realistic goals - don't take on too much, but try to find goals that keep you motivated * Review and reward progress - notice even the small steps * Talk about the ups and downs of recovery with friends, family and the health professionals involve in your care * Have a plan to maintain positive changes and plans to deal with times of stress or reminders of the trauma DON'T * Use alcohol or drugs to try and cope * Keep yourself busy and work too much * Engage in stressful family or work situations * Withdraw from family and friends * Stop yourself from doing things that you enjoy * Avoid talking about what happened * Take risks

Pip25 PTSD Treatment
  • replies: 2

I was in an abusive relationship for several years and have been diagnosed with PTSD. I have recently started seeing a psychologist to seek help. After sessions I feel exhausted, stressed and find myself crying a lot. I want to know all of this is wo... View more

I was in an abusive relationship for several years and have been diagnosed with PTSD. I have recently started seeing a psychologist to seek help. After sessions I feel exhausted, stressed and find myself crying a lot. I want to know all of this is worth it. Does anyone have any experience with treatment approaches for PTSD that work? Currently, I'm trying traumatic memory re-scripting.

Celery Raging PTSD
  • replies: 8

I did not know i had PTSD..I did not know i had dysthymia..all of my life i only knew i always felt different. After a life of being ostracised, physically abused and shunned by my family i just cannot take any more of this daily terrorism from my wo... View more

I did not know i had PTSD..I did not know i had dysthymia..all of my life i only knew i always felt different. After a life of being ostracised, physically abused and shunned by my family i just cannot take any more of this daily terrorism from my worn out brain. In early 2003 my father chose to suicide. I ran in slow motion to his side and tried in vain to help. I told him he would be alright and help was on the way. He cried. My mind leapt back to reality and realised he was not returning to this world. I shuddered and felt the guilt for not recognising his plan. My mother was released from life 6 yrs earlier and i had not seen her for almost a year. Her cold face looked worn out and fragile, her hair grey and​ lifeless. Once a beautiful woman full of life who tirelessly gave to the community..her facade to cap the shame and humiliation of living with physical and endless emotional abuse by the perpetrator, my father. My sister a nurse outcast me and not a word orated from the day she held me responsible for our fathers tragedy..not a whisper of comfort or support towards me..just contempt. I cared for my father for 2 yeras..the very same man who emotionally and physically abused me for my entire life..i loved my mother everyday despite her words of discourage and ostracism to me for not being like the sister who had already taken the position as the golden haired child. My deafness from infancy was an embarrassment to my family..i was not give the opportunities as it was viewed as a waste of time.. Yes the insidious and baffling disease of alcholism touched every family member and nor did my kid brother escape it...it took him deep into the hot earth at the age of 30. ​Now what am i doing here..everyday is an enormous, exhausting effort to keep slushing, pushing, dragging and thinking my life for survival..and i dont have to take a drink..I was spared from the wretched disease. When will my time be my time with not so much pain? Nightmares, guilt, shame and self torment are attached to me like black hot tar. I need to seek the courage to strip it back..i have not much time.

Nataley Traumatic Experience as a child
  • replies: 7

Hi there, Was wondering if anyone can help bring a bit of clarity here? Am I normal? I am 32 years old. I've never really received any professional help just the help of close family & friends. I feel I am a bit different from most people and struggl... View more

Hi there, Was wondering if anyone can help bring a bit of clarity here? Am I normal? I am 32 years old. I've never really received any professional help just the help of close family & friends. I feel I am a bit different from most people and struggle sometimes. I find that I get really annoyed & irritated at the smallest things a lot of the time and I can be quite a negative person and I feel its starting to effect my life and take over a bit. My husband doesn't really get it but he accepts me and is very patient. We as a family went through quite a traumatic experience. I was 13 years old and grew up in South Africa when the indecent happened. One Friday night we were all at home my mum, myself & 2 sisters. Dad was at the pub having a few drinks. Between leaving the pub and driving back home he was attacked and stabbed in his neck. He drove home parked the car walked up to the house and passed out on our front doorsteps. We opened the door and found him there still alive. We called the ambulance service and it took them just under 2 hours to arrive. In that time my mum was running around like a headless chicken. My oldest sister was the one who kept dad alive doing CPR and apply pressure to his wound until the ambulance eventually arrived. I even remember dad taking his last breath on my sisters lap. She gave him CPR and he came back. Anyways the ambulance arrived eventually my mom got in with dad and left for the hospital must have been around 12-1am. At about 4-5am my mum came alone home sat down in the lounge and told us dad had died. I do remember feeling very angry weeks after it happened. I was very close to my father. A few years later going into teenage years I starting smoking drinking & Drugs and dropped out of school and got involved with the wrong crowd and landed up in jail over night for the first time. (my father was a police officer lol he wouldn't be very proud of that) Anyways after being arrested for a night I woke up and came to my senses very quickly. I still smoke & have the odd glass of wine or 5 but no more drugs anymore since 20 years old. I've never been to get any professional help. But I find I get really, annoyed, angry & frustrated and very small insignificant things. I also find it takes me forever to make friends as people annoy me. I do feel like im very different to everyone else and being around people who small talk really does my head in. Is this normal? Thanks

Praxidike Anxiety from being stalked
  • replies: 7

Hi all, Over the past 11 months I have been the victim of stalking, intimidation and harassment. I have been followed, stared at constantly, cut off while walking along the footpath, and had my stalker trying to find out information about me through ... View more

Hi all, Over the past 11 months I have been the victim of stalking, intimidation and harassment. I have been followed, stared at constantly, cut off while walking along the footpath, and had my stalker trying to find out information about me through friends. I recently started counselling through my university but now that holidays are here there is no one I can talk to and I feel like my anxiety is getting worse. I have spoken to the police several times, but as most of this is occurring in public places, there is no trace of any evidence and the only option is an AVO. I am quite scared to go ahead with this as I do not want consequences – our children go to the same school and unfortunately changing is not an option. I failed an exam for uni earlier this year as I had been followed the evening before and I just couldn’t think straight. Just recently I went to our local library to study for upcoming exams and he followed me there too. I haven’t received my results yet, but there is a chance that I have failed a whole subject. I am devastated as I had really good grades up until six months ago. Since that happened I have been feeling so much anxiety. I get into bed at night and I can feel my heart pounding, I can’t sleep and it makes it so hard to get out of bed the next day. My head feels foggy, I can’t concentrate, and I am scared for my daughter. He has been asked to leave me alone, yet he continues. I am so angry, frustrated and upset about this and I just don’t know how to cope with the anxiety anymore. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you

MM216 Struggling so much-PTSD and depression
  • replies: 3

I'm struggling every day, some days are so unbearable. Trying my best to lead a normal life, but it feels like a facade. I had a very confronting pregnancy loss 5 months ago, and unfortunately time is not healing all wounds. trying to manage physical... View more

I'm struggling every day, some days are so unbearable. Trying my best to lead a normal life, but it feels like a facade. I had a very confronting pregnancy loss 5 months ago, and unfortunately time is not healing all wounds. trying to manage physical symptons, as well as overwhelming depression, constant flashbacks and very negative thoughts. i cry all the time, and just don't want to feel like this anymore. My thoughts are so negative and sad, and I feel like I lost control of my ability to manage my thoughts and have a positive outlook. im doing everything I'm suppose to, like seeing a counsellor, opening up a lot more, having a better diet, I'm even seeing an accupunturist to help with relaxation. I'm so easily irritated, and everything sets me off. I'm snapping at my husband all the time, even though he's been supportive and doing his best to help me through this. I've never been so hopeless and depressed for this long- when will it get better?!??

PsychoticPanda PTSD Boyfriend Suicide Attempt + Birthday
  • replies: 2

2 years ago my boyfriend attempted suicide, I awoke on my birthday to him not breathing properly and tried to wake him up, then he muttered out some words. It was the morning of my 20th Birthday. One of the paramedics were extremely rude and laughed ... View more

2 years ago my boyfriend attempted suicide, I awoke on my birthday to him not breathing properly and tried to wake him up, then he muttered out some words. It was the morning of my 20th Birthday. One of the paramedics were extremely rude and laughed at the fact it happened on my birthday. I remember walking down the long corridor where i finally saw him laying there in resus. He should have died the doctors said. Back at home it was terrible, cries filled the room while they tried to sing happy birthday with the cake. 2 years later i still have those nightmares, i check if he's still breathing at night. I have severe allergies so make frequent visits to the hospital, the last time they put me in resus, to be exact the same room he should have died in. Birthdays haunt me, i used to love occasions but now their a burden, i can't handle the cake part. It's just constant reminders. Now that my birthday is once again approaching those feelings are getting worse, my friends insist on throwing me a party but what if that's just out of pitty? It's lovely of them but i can't help thinking that. I still keep the meds locked in a box I'm that paranoid. I hate birthdays. Yet i used to love them. I know it wasn't your fault given the circumstamces. i just want to forget it happened and I'm sure you do too.

Elizabeth CP Horrible dream triggering anxiety & bad feeling about myself
  • replies: 10

As background information I was diagnosed with PTSD related to being caught in a bushfire a child. Most of the time I am fine but find hot weather particularly if the fire danger is high I struggle. For the last week it has been hot and now my husban... View more

As background information I was diagnosed with PTSD related to being caught in a bushfire a child. Most of the time I am fine but find hot weather particularly if the fire danger is high I struggle. For the last week it has been hot and now my husband who I care for is sick. I am currently on some medication for a physical health issue which is making me feel blah! On top of that I am tired from lack of sleep due to heat & some health issues. Last night was very hot (although fire danger wasn't severe) & my husband was coughing & sounding very ill. This led to a very broken sleep. At one point I had a horrible dream about a bushfire where I couldn't think straight enough to organise myself so I could leave before too late. I found when I woke up I was still half in the dream & spent the rest of the night worrying about how useless I was. When I got up I was still breathing fast & feeling very shakey due to the anxiety & bad feelings brought on by the dream. I know it was a dream but that didn't stop it triggering the negative beliefs about myself caused by the original fire. Thoughts include feeling guilty & useless because I didn't do anything to help as a child with the dream reinforcing the fact that I still can't deal with situations where I need to act as a competent adult to prevent harm to myself or others. This then morphs into feeling useless anyway. I feel like when it is hot my life is put on hold. I'm unable to do anything useful and I can't do anything enjoyable. Summer stretches in front like a prison sentence. Does anyone else relate to this.

Ryan1978 Just had enough of this
  • replies: 8

Hi there Im new and not sure really what's driving me to write something on here. I've been suffering with PTS for about 13 years and my issues are all pretty much relate to Defence service and overseas deployments etc. I've come to a point where man... View more

Hi there Im new and not sure really what's driving me to write something on here. I've been suffering with PTS for about 13 years and my issues are all pretty much relate to Defence service and overseas deployments etc. I've come to a point where managing my avoidance, anxiety, nightmares, temper, over reactions to things are really weighing me down. Im just not coping with things and it's had a massive impact on my marriage and family. I'm not going to make excuses for myself, but I can't control myself and the way that I've become. Life has just become a struggle and Im not sure how to move things forward any more. My marriage is at breaking point, and I feel disconnected with everyone around me. My instincts are all pretty much just telling me to give up. I'm tired, emotional and exhausted!!