Hi CMF
To win the battle I went on meds, did counselling, moved away from toxic people, learned to say no, to put myself first, learned to let go of the anger, guilt, resentment, sense of always having to be in control. I took on the role of saving my siblings. Blamed myself when I could not. Lost my big brother to paranoid schizophrenia. He refuses to help himself, take the meds so he's in an institution.... I tried to save him for eight years with ups & downs... The fear, the violence, the stress, the lack of sleep,... The loneliness,... The judgment from family members who never lifted a finger to help when for him & my safety he had to be placed in care... Trying to save my little sister these days. Not much success. She's having nervous breakdowns and eating disorder. Trying to get her here. Can't help her if we are in 2 different countries and I'm living my life anxious & worried about something bad happening to her. She lost temporary custody of her daughter while she sorts herself out but my aunt who has temporary custody is doing her best to kick her while she's down. Trying to adopt her kid and erase her out of her kid's life. Not that it is working... It is damaging both mother and daughter more...
