PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Elizabeth CP New Has anyone had treatment for PTSD for trauma experienced decades ago
  • replies: 8

Hi I have experienced depression & anxiety for years and sought medical help more recently as it escalated. I recently gave up work as it became too difficult to cope while caring for my husband whose medical condition has deteriorated recently. My p... View more

Hi I have experienced depression & anxiety for years and sought medical help more recently as it escalated. I recently gave up work as it became too difficult to cope while caring for my husband whose medical condition has deteriorated recently. My psych recommended treatment for PTSD but I am now feeling more stressed & anxious as it is stirring up really bad memories and feelings. It also means there isn't time to focus on other things which are causing stress and increasing depression. I feel like there are are so many negative thoughts and feelings in my mind I am overwhelmed. The initial trauma occurred when I was 10 but there has been other experiences as an adult which had the potential to cause the same problem. (I usually go somewhere I feel safer and only return home when the I feel it is safe.)

Hoonlady living next door to attacker
  • replies: 5

In June this year, I was attacked by a neighbour while she was having a psychotic manic attack. It took months before I could go out of the house without panic, but I was recovering. Now my neighbour is back home and any progress I made is long gone.... View more

In June this year, I was attacked by a neighbour while she was having a psychotic manic attack. It took months before I could go out of the house without panic, but I was recovering. Now my neighbour is back home and any progress I made is long gone. Although the house is on the market, in our neck of the woods it takes around two years to sell and nobody local will buy or recommend the house next door to the local lunatic. The stress is more than I can bear. Anybody have any suggestions, as every time I see her I'm right back trying to duck that hammer. PS I still have to go through the ordeal of going to court. That alone fills me with dread and I'm pretty sure the verdict will be not guilty by reason of insanity (the correct term escapes me at present) and she'll still be next door with her bedroom within 10 metres of mine.

ribbonwhite PTSD AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
  • replies: 7

I'm not really sure where to start. Other than finally finishing in the family circuit being my undoing. Two nights ago I ended up in the hospital because everything finally hit me and became to much. I felt like I couldn't keep on going anymore. Tha... View more

I'm not really sure where to start. Other than finally finishing in the family circuit being my undoing. Two nights ago I ended up in the hospital because everything finally hit me and became to much. I felt like I couldn't keep on going anymore. That my abuser (my sons father) and my narcissistic mother were right "I'm just a piece of shit that no one likes" the anxiety is crippling me, the night terrors keep me awake. The heightened response that one day he will make good on those threats. I'm in this wave of emotion of not wanting to be anywhere, I don't want to be at home but I don't want to be at work, I don't want to be outside but I don't want to be inside. I spent two years going to a domestic violence counsellor, six months with a sexual assault counsellor. And six sessions with a phycologists trying to manage the PTSD. I thought I was managing ok till family court came to and end after three years. I can't move past the hurt that was caused by my abuser or my own mother. I feel really isolated and don't know how to cope with being a single mother with a son with behavior issues trying to get help to only be told"you're doing everything we would tell you to do, so there's nothing else we can do to help" trying to provide an income. All I have is my sister who lives in another town, and my best friend who even though has been in a domestic violence situation herself many years ago, does not comprehend the damage it has had on me mentally and believes I should just move on. But that's what Ive been told by many people that I just need to "move on its in the past" I really wish it was that easy. I feel like I'm drowning and I don't know how to get back up. I know my son needs me but I don't know how to stop feeling the way I do. beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:8.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:107%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

JosieRainbow Forgiving people
  • replies: 8

Hi all, I'm new to Beyond Blue. I joined because I'm searching for answers, and I'm actually not allowed to discuss my issues with some people. Every time I bring it up they respond with "Oh, Just let it Go!" Approximately 10 years ago, I was sexuall... View more

Hi all, I'm new to Beyond Blue. I joined because I'm searching for answers, and I'm actually not allowed to discuss my issues with some people. Every time I bring it up they respond with "Oh, Just let it Go!" Approximately 10 years ago, I was sexually assaulted by someone I looked up to, trusted and cared about. I was an adult (just) so therefore was given the choice to take it to court or not. I was given the advice that I shouldn't by other people who I trusted (the same people who won't allow me to talk about things with them), and therefore although I had a rape-kit done, just in case I chose to go ahead with it, I never took it any further. For a few years now, I thought that I'd forgiven the person who hurt me. I didn't think about it, it didn't affect my daily life. Recently, however, due to knowing that I would soon be seeing that person at a function that I was attending (and since attending said function) I've felt much the same as I did in those first few days/weeks after it happened. It appears now that I wasn't over it, I'd just repressed it. I want to forgive that person (though I'm not ready to forgive those who don't want to hear about it). I know through my faith (I'm a Christian) that there are scriptures that tell us to forgive, and yet when I mention this to people or on the Internet, I get conflicting messages. Some people say that I should try to forgive, when I'm ready, because Jesus taught us to forgive, but other people tell me that I should not ever have to forgive that particular wrong. Without going into too much detail about Christian beliefs, I'm trying to find out whether or not I should be forgiving person as they have not yet apologised and asked for forgiveness, and if so, I want to know how I go about forgiving that person. Part of me thinks that I should forgive, because Jesus didn't say "forgive everyone.... oh except for him!" Please note, I am not asking for a religious debate, this is not the place, but I am wanting to know which choice to make, because I really do want to forgive them despite their lack of repentance, I also want to know how to forgive (which is strange because I'm generally quite a forgiving person by nature. Thanks.

Enlighten_me Post traumatic disoder
  • replies: 2

Hello everybody. I'm new here just now. I suffer ptsd from physical injury and witnessing corruption. Which I won't go into due to sight rules and legal instruction. I hope I haven't broken the rules already. I just want to talk to people that suffer... View more

Hello everybody. I'm new here just now. I suffer ptsd from physical injury and witnessing corruption. Which I won't go into due to sight rules and legal instruction. I hope I haven't broken the rules already. I just want to talk to people that suffer similar symptoms and hopefully learn coping methods

Megflower PTSD I Never Feel Safe
  • replies: 12

Hi, My PTSD peaks then kind of recedes, but seems easily triggered. At the moment I am so lost in it I feel like I can't breathe, and all it took was someone else at work talking about their struggle with it, now I am so raw scared and having trouble... View more

Hi, My PTSD peaks then kind of recedes, but seems easily triggered. At the moment I am so lost in it I feel like I can't breathe, and all it took was someone else at work talking about their struggle with it, now I am so raw scared and having trouble pretending to be ok. I don't talk to anyone about it, but just his story has made me feel even more disconnected than before its just me and my memories. I was OK now I am just not, I can't feel safe its sort of like being back there. I feel bad I can't be better like the man at work, he seems okay he's functioning, I feel bad that I can't make myself better - like as if I am not trying hard enough.

blinkstar dealing with rape
  • replies: 6

Hi all, I've just newly joined this website, to find a source of support in my life. i was raped over a year ago; i did the necessary steps reported it to the police, saw a counsellor, dr and psychologist. i took anti-depressants and sleeping pills t... View more

Hi all, I've just newly joined this website, to find a source of support in my life. i was raped over a year ago; i did the necessary steps reported it to the police, saw a counsellor, dr and psychologist. i took anti-depressants and sleeping pills this helped me gradually de-stress from the pain. my closest friends know and elder brother knows. the problem is that it has been more than over 10 months since the cops have contacted me. i purposely don't think about it or talk about it. i keep myself busy with studies or working. until recently i saw the after effects of it catching up on me. things like not being able to sleep, bad dreams, waking up 2/4 times in a night, unable to talk in public speaking, becoming extremely anxious... my main issue is that i don't have the courage to call the cops and close my case. i get frustrated quite easily, in previous calls I've called and they've made excuses which puts me off. I'm going on my first solo adventure in december... i want to be able to have this chapter of my life closed up mentally. i don't want to have to resort back to medication just to be able to sleep and function properly. does anybody have any coping mechanisms for my situation? Any advice /support will help. thanks in advance

Jane007 Second marriage breaking down due to emotionally abusive behaviours from husband
  • replies: 3

I have been married for four years to the man who I thought was the love of my life. I have two daughters and my husband has four kids so there are six other people's lives affected by this unhappy marriage. My husband is an aggressive bullying and c... View more

I have been married for four years to the man who I thought was the love of my life. I have two daughters and my husband has four kids so there are six other people's lives affected by this unhappy marriage. My husband is an aggressive bullying and controlling person. He has a tendency to go from a "normal" mood to a spitting rage in mere moments and as a result of this we all walk around on eggshells most the time. No-one can predict him from hour to hour. He is a very difficult man to live with and has hugely affected my life not necessarily in a good way. We got married a year after my first marriage ended I felt at the time a bit hesitant about it all (we had a very expensive trip/wedding in the UK with all 8 of us) - I felt it was very rushed. Bit by bit after the wedding his angry episodes became more and more frequent - he would "rage walk" on the beach 2 or 3 times a mth - sometimes sleeping there overnight (something he also did in his previous relationship of 19 years). His kids were well used to this behaviour - my two girls (13 and 15). I believe I am an easy going person but I do admit I am hugely affected by his outbursts and and put downs. One night two years ago I asked him politely to bring the dog in as he was about to get into bed as she was barking. He went berserk - I was already in bed - he grabbed the covers at the end of the bed and tugged them off me then knelt over me and spat in my face saying "Oh and YOU'RE SO PERFECT!!" And then he spat in my face. I left the next morning and stayed with a friend taking the girls with me. He demanded I return by a certain time or not bother at all. Typical! I returned of course . About 2 mths ago he stood up in front of me and the children and when we were arguing he walked closer to me and when I put a chair between us he kicked it out of the way. The children were v frightened - his 16 yr old son asked him to please stop - it was a very charged situation. A week later I told him at family dinner that if he did that again I would leave and take my daughters with me. He says "Cos it's ALL my fault". When I say "Yes, it is. I'm not the person losing it" he says "it's just one long list of what's wrong with ME". My daughters do love him and he is not all bad. When this blind rage hits him it turns him into a very intimidating force (he's 6 ft tall and very strong). Any help or advice would be appreciated. How much of ourselves can we sacrifice when living with an emotional abuser? Thank you.

Guest_5218 PTSD, Anxiety and OCD
  • replies: 8

I have recently been directed to his site by my psychologist. No doubt my story is old and tired, and experienced by many others here. But I will tell you my story anyway. I was raped almost 20 years go now. It was by someone I knew and trusted and i... View more

I have recently been directed to his site by my psychologist. No doubt my story is old and tired, and experienced by many others here. But I will tell you my story anyway. I was raped almost 20 years go now. It was by someone I knew and trusted and it occurred in my own home. I was physically injured, concussed, ashamed, afraid, embarrassed - all the usual things. I never reported it to the authorities and never spoke to anyone about it. I had never been a particularly social person, but afterwards I isolated myself completely other than for work. After 18 years of almost constant battles with anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, triggers, etc, I finally sought help from a psychologist. Initially it was for pain management as I suffered a severe back injury about 2 years after the rape. So after almost 2 years of occasional appointments I finally told her during a particularly difficult time (anniversary) what had happened all those years ago. I have now been diagnosed with PTSD. On her advice I have undergone a series of Exposure Therapy and CBT this year. This has helped to some degree. But I am still getting nightmares, anxiety symptoms, etc. This has probably been made worse recently as it has been a really lousy second half of the year for me. My little 11yo niece was killed in a car accident, I was retrenched from my job when the business was sold, and I found out that my husband was cheating on my again. So I guess none of that has helped. Anyway my psychologist wants to try EMDR treatment next year after things settle down a bit. But in the meantime she wants me to talk to people about what happened, as it is an important part of the recovery process she says. However that is really hard as I do not have any friends (my hubby is a narsissist according to my psychologist). I have become quite isolated other than for my part-time work, which I now no longer have. I do some volunteer work in the aged care industry, which I enjoy. But I just do not have any friends I am able to talk to. My family live a long way away, and I could never tell them anyway. Hence this option to try an online forum. I look forward to responses from other people who have had similar experiences to myself. I am more of a listener than a talker as complete strangers often approach me to tell me their problems. But I am unable to reciprocate. Although I am not able to talk about the rape, I can now write about it, & that's progress! I hope........

Krychan Lost and out of control
  • replies: 3

I am a 44 year old woman, last week I had a mental breakdown that saw me get arrested, after a lifetime of physical and emotional abuse, divorce, as a child and an adult, as abusive mother, having two children, one with bipolar and the other with asp... View more

I am a 44 year old woman, last week I had a mental breakdown that saw me get arrested, after a lifetime of physical and emotional abuse, divorce, as a child and an adult, as abusive mother, having two children, one with bipolar and the other with asperges syndrome and a husband that places me second and is struggling with depression himself but self medicates it all has become to much. These feelings of deep loss and fear are so overwhelming, i have not been able to return to work and have no energy. I have been placed on medication and am seeing a physcologist, I'm scared as to how this will impact my life, i have always worked hard and been successful, but feel completely powerless over what's happening to me now. My work is very supportive, i dont really have anyone, my husband feels that he is to blame, but we both came with our own baggage, even writing this is an effort.