No end in sight

[Crash79]

Hi. Im new here and reaching out feels like my last hope. My whole life has been filled with trauma. Im now 40 and over everything and just wanting to shut off from everything. Growing up I was moved around a lot so I have no childhood friends. My father had a nervous breakdown and was very critical and abusive. I was bullied a lot to the point I was blind and nearly lost my eyesight permanently in 1 eye. I lost my virginity being raped. I married the wrong person bc she fell pregnant and it may not be my child, who is now 16 and it breaks my heart she may not be mine. Sexually assaulted in my apprenticeship and assaulted. Workplace accident at 19 nearly put me in a wheelchair for life. Abused by bosses and ended up in court. Was also followed by private investigators. Got stuck in shit job after shit job. Smoked pot on and off for over 20 years bc of Pain, when I wasn't smoking it I was hooked on pain killers. Wife left after 17 years for another guy. Took eldest daughter. Became a single dad of 2 other daughters. This year alone I lost my job, my youngest got taken by her mother and not returned. I also kicked my new partner out who is still sticking by me. I've spent $11k on lawyers so far trying to get daughter back and have court next week for it. Also court this week over a car accident I had. And centrelink has rejected my newstart claim. So what little savings I had is about gone. I have no motivation and just want to be isolated.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

You've had a bad deal of cards. It looks like your life is simply bad luck.

But, that doesnt mean your shackles cant be cut and a new beginning. Living just on hope wont suffice, determination is needed as well as some radical changes when needed.

The important thing is you dont get things to far out of perspective. Being followed around wont hurt, it isnt comfortable but it wont harm you. Companies must satisfy themselves you are not fraudulent like many claimant are. Doctors reports are not enough evidence. It doesnt mean investigations are personal - its how the system is.

Ok, so the very best advice I can give you is listed below. They are threads that focus on various issues. Just read the first post.

Use google

Beyondblue Topic what life's like at the end of the tunnel

Beyondblue Topic if all else fails- be radical

Beyondblue Topic never ever give up

Beyondblue Topic fortress of survival

Beyondblue Topic fortress of survival part 2

I'd also consider a GP appointment and a referal to counseling so you have guidence as to making life smoother and more easily manageable

TonyWK