I’m really really stuffed up I’m in desperate need off help but I’m scared

[Not_going_good]

My head is out of control I can’t keep up I’m doing all this crazy stuff like recklessly buying stuff I don’t need putting my self in debt I’m scared I’m destroying my life I was abused as a child by my bother he made me do stuff I’m scared.

I have a daughter and I got with the dad and he is a bit over powering but I love him well I think I do but he won’t let me do more mum things he always push in he used to really badly push me when she start crying I got hurt a few time nothing serious and I’m living with him now and his family it’s over powering and scary I’m scared and I want to get out and don’t know how I’m trapped I want a house with my daughter and a little dog or cat make her smile every day but it’s really hard around here it’s a big house but there’s people everywhere

im just to crazy I talk to myself a little to much for it to be normal and that scares me

[Curleee]

Hello there

it sounds like you are in an extreme spike (in terms of your mental health). Have you seen a Counsellor before? There are some that bulk bill (if money is a concern).....

being safe is number 1 in terms of healing. It is hard to break the cycle if you’ve been in imbalanced power relationships in your life. But you sound strong and seem to have a sense of knowing what you need, which is fabulous.

A Counsellor could help you work out why you’re spending like you are. I went through that phase many years ago and believe that it was a way of trying to sooth myself through having “nice” things - and in an instant gratification type of way - if that makes sense. Although it would only make me feel good for a few moments and then the enduring feeling is shame and distress...... because I couldn’t always afford it. This was only a patch of time though. and the good thing is you are noticing your own behaviour. This is a great sign.

keep messaging us here. Happy to help

hugs

[Sophie_M]

Hi Not going good,

Welcome to the Beyond Blue online forums.

We are sorry to hear that you’re feeling scared and like things are out of control. Please know that we take reports of abuse seriously and are here to support you as much as you need. As we are concerned about you and your daughters wellbeing, we’d encourage you to reach out to our Support Service to talk things through and find supports in your area that can help - 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport

1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) is another great resource that offers support to anyone experiencing abuse and domestic and family violence - https://www.1800respect.org.au/

Keep checking in with us to let us know how you are going, when you feel up to it.