I have thoughts that the whole world is conspiring against me

[Dave02]

Hey all, I was diagnosed with PTSD and severe anxiety and severe depression about a year ago. I was in a motorbike accident which attributed to the PTSD back in Jan 2007, after nearly a 10 year long ice addiction I felt enough was enough and I kicked that habit around 18 months ago. In the time since I quit I have stayed strong to not go back to it despite learning these things since stopping and I've done well in that regards.

I have been seeing a psychologist for the past 12 months, fort nightly, but I seem to just be getting worse and worse and it's now at the point in which I don't care for what happens to me at all anymore and I can't keep going on, I've lost 3 jobs in the past 6 months because half the time I can't even bring myself to get out of bed or out of the house.

I have been given a script today for anti depressants and benzodiazepenes to deal with the anxiety when needed.

My issue is I feel like this kind of medication is designed by governments/big pharma companies to dumb people down/control people/make them conform etc.. And whilst I know people that it has been helpful for, I can't get the thoughts out of my head that it's all just a front from the corporations to conspire against the population.

I need help, my psych just doesn't seem to be helping, I don't know what to do anymore or how to get the thoughts that the whole world is conspiring against me, has anybody overcome these thoughts?

[white knight]

Hi Dave, welcome.

Of all the therapy I git in the late 1980's, the best was from a therapist that taught me how to rid my mind of unrealistic thoughts.

I would live life with "what if's". What if my boss visits my home, what if I end up with 8 children, what if there is a nuclear war?

It is part of anxiety for many. Relaxation helped a lot especially muscle tensioning exercises. Seems to me it could be time to try relaxation classes and a change of psychologist but thats my view, what I'd do.

you might also lack motivation.

Google- Topic: motivation, search and rescue it- beyondblue

Topic: the best praise you'll ever get- beyondblue

Topic: worry worry worry- beyondblue

try hobbies. Keeping your mind focused on other things works. Even when watching tv do a jigsaw for example.

Tony WK

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi DaveOner,

Thanks for your post.

I'm sorry that you're going through a hard time; it sounds like you're still fighting for things to get better though with seeing a psychologist and staying away from ice.

I would be lying if I'd said that I'd never thought about the industry of big pharma. It's hard to ignore even though I know there has been plenty of research saying how helpful these medications can be for people. I agree that it is a money making industry; and as someone who has physical and mental health issues my monthly pharmacy bill is through the roof.

As for the idea that drugs are there to 'dumb people down/control people/make them conform' I would only agree to an extent. Yes, society does expect use to act a certain kind of way; we're told to smile, have jobs, be independent, etc etc - but on the other level when someone is struggling so much with their thoughts and behaviour it can be almost the better of the two options. Antidepressants can make a significant difference to their mental health; and when someone is struggling just with daily living isn't that worth the stigma of 'making them conform'?

I think it's important to remember too that medication is always your choice. Doctors will often say to take Antidepressants for 4-6 weeks to let it 'get into your system' but this does not mean that you will be on it for life. That's a common misconception that comes with medication. Medication is designed to be used as an additional therapy.

Can I ask what your psychologist is talking about or focusing on in the sessions? Often it can help to tell your psychologist and give him/her some feedback on what's going on for you;- it may be about changing tactic or trying something else. Of course you can always see another psychologist but given you've seen the current one for 12 months it would be great to see if you can change course since they already know you and you know them. In my experience finding a psychologist that 'clicks' can be quite hard.

By the way - this is all just my own opinion;- I help BeyondBlue out but don't know where they stand or their personal opinions on the big pharma industry; so just thought I'd clarify!​

[Dr_Kim]

Hi Dave02

Firstly , a big YAY to you for kicking the 10 year ICE habit. You must be one helluva person and I really admire anyone who has the strength of character to do that! 

I’m going to come out of left field a bit here… Ready?

These thoughts you are having about the 1.medications being designed by big pharma etc and 2. the whole world conspiring against you .. I’m wondering if (as long as they are definitely not paranoid thoughts ) they might be intrusive thoughts defined as

" An intrusive thought is an unwelcome involuntary thought, image, or unpleasant idea that may become an obsession, is upsetting or distressing, and can feel difficult to manage or eliminate.”

It is not such a jump to think that you might have some obsessional type thinking as it is in fact part of the anxiety spectrum - so many  with anxiety also have some type of OCD or obsessional thinking.

What leads me to think that this is a part of you is that it seems to stand apart from the thought, you do not want it in your head and you don't like it. This often happens with intrusive thoughts. You keep having a thought over and over again that you don't really want to keep having, and the thought makes you feel upset, so to calm yourself you think or do something to relieve it. 

In your case your intrusive thought is “Big Pharma is bad and is controlling people “ . This causes anxiety to go up. The way you then calm yourself is thinking “I’m not going to let them control me. I’m not going to take the medication” so you feel relieved . For a while. However , the thing is 1. there is no solution there and 2. the cycle usually starts again pretty quickly.

If I am on the right track and these thoughts are in fact irrational intrusive thoughts , then the treatment is as for most anxiety but actually even MORE intense ! You need to 

1. attend to lifestyle factors - exercise, eat well, have good daily routines, sleep

2. Get therapy that helps you to sit with the thoughts and the anxiety they induce and not respond to them . This eventually disempowers them ( its super hard but really effective) . It is a form of ACT therapy ( as in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy ) - as in just seeing the thoughts for what they are “ oh there’s one of those silly Pharma thoughts again ..” but not trying to challenge it or deal with it .. just noticing it and moving on… 

3. You will probably actually need quite high dose SSRI as they are really quite good for OCD thinking and toning down the thoughts! 

I hope this helps and I it may or may not be on track but it might be interesting to print this out and take it with you to your psychologist and see what they think!!?? Might be worth a discussion.