Coping with bushfires

[Sophie_M]

Beyond Blue would like all individuals accessing our online forums in relation to Australia’s bushfire crisis to know that we are here for them.

If you’re feeling worried, we want you to know that it’s okay and you are not alone.

The impacts of this crisis will be ongoing and everyone will have different experiences, thoughts, feelings and emotions.

Even if you haven't been directly affected by these fires you may still feel sad, overwhelmed, stressed and upset.

We hope that you will use this safe, understanding space to talk, share and support one another on a united front.

It can be difficult to know what to say in times like these.

The forum community have been engaging in discussions that you may find helpful: Are you managing to be ok with all these dreadful bushfires?

You may wish to share what you are doing to help cope, or simply to share your experience with others.

Beyond Blue has developed a dedicated resource about bushfires and mental health, including practical advice about dealing with the emotional impact of bushfires, information about the signs and symptoms of emotional distress, tips for supporting children and young people, and links to several useful websites.

Taking care of yourself:

• Limit your exposure to social media – it’s okay to have a break and it’s important you make sure you’re not becoming overwhelmed.
• Speak with our friendly forum community about how you’re feeling
• Set realistic goals that keep you motivated, but don't take on too much (most people in this situation talk of recovery as a journey not a sprint)
• Give yourself time

Seeking help when you are in a bushfire affected area:

• Follow the advice of your local state fire services if you are in a bushfire affected area.
  State fire services:
  NSW RFS
  QLD RFS
  VIC
  SA
  TAS
  NT
  WA
  ACT

• If you require emergency support please contact 000

As a community, let’s help one another through sharing and connecting during this difficult time. This could be by listing links to articles or resources you have found helpful, tips for what is working to help you manage or sharing your thoughts, feelings or experience related to the bushfire crisis.  

Whatever it may be, we're here. 

[Soberlicious96]

HI Elizabeth,

There is no need to feel stupid for reacting to such a traumatic event. A bushfire, no matter how big or small, is traumatic, and particularly given that you (like me) experienced the loss of your home as a result, is in fact, a perfectly normal reaction.

Anyway, yeah, I will be okay.

And I am glad that you are starting to get help for this. I wish you all the very best in learning to deal with it all, and will be keeping you in my thoughts and, if you don't mind, my prayers too.

Take care. Together, we got this. xo

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks. It is good to have someone who really understands. It is not so much the house and the everyday belongings but the loss of the irreplaceable things like photos & other special things. The real problem was the loss of my previous life. We had to move so lost friends . The biggest thing for me is the fear remembering just waiting to die because there seemed to be no chance of escape.

[Soberlicious96]

Yeah, I hear you. Having that experience of thinking you're "really gonna die tonight" is so overwhelming. You wonder how the world keeps going. It's so very surreal and leaves you in a state of shock for quite some time.

And then later on down the track, maybe a year or two later, you'll find yourself looking for something that you once had. ..... You'll turn the (new) place upside down trying to find this thing that you KNOW you once had somewhere ....... and then someone will quite innocently ask "Was it before the fire?" and you'll stop dead in your tracks and realise; yeah, it was before the fire.

And then this other thing happens too; your 'life timeline' will become 'before the fire' and 'after the fire' ....... because it becomes such a defining moment in your life. Life a reference point. It'll be all 'old house' and 'new house' and 'I was aged such-and-such then which was before the fire' and 'oh yeah, that thing happened and I was with such-and-such which was after the fire' ....... and on and on it goes.

It's a memory and experience that has never ever left me. But, little by little, most days, I've learned to live with it, and accept that it's a part of me now. And yeah, there are many people out there that don't get it and never will. But then again, it didn't happen to them; it happened to us. So whether or not they 'get it' is not important. What is important is this; it takes more than a burning building to get us!! We're warrior people! I know you may not feel it, but you ARE a very brave soul. Brave enough to share your story here, and be vulnerable enough to admit to the fear and be walking through it anyway, by simply going on day by day.

So for now, just be gentle with yourself. If all you can manage for the day is getting dressed and getting 3 square meals in, then you're doing okay. Give it time. A new, but unplanned life takes a lot of getting used to.

Take care. And keep coming back here as much as you like. It's actually helping me too, to know that at last, someone else understands.

Best regards, Mel. xo

[quirkywords]

Mel and Elizabeth
thanks for sharing your stories, What worries me is that in 6 mths,12 mths, Not to mention 5 years times no one will think about the fires and life will move on.

people say things can be replaced as these are often people thane all their possessions,

elizabeth I am sorry your feelings were not acknlowdged when you experienced loss in the fires as a child ,

people say they can’t imagine what I am feeling but I can’t understand what I am feeling. It is so unreal please let me wake up from the nightmare. If only it was that easy.

quirky

[Elizabeth CP]

Yes it is easy to say things can be replaced. I remember on Ash Wednesday my in-laws coming to help as we were very close particularly when the wind changed to blow the fires towards us. They were grabbing clothes to pack including winter coats so they weren't lost. I didn't have the energy to argue but I knew clothes were replaceable. I wanted to take photos & other things which were personal because of the meaning behind them & the memories they evoked. They are not replaceable. The other thing which is not replaceable is the lifestyle & friendships particularly when you have to move away.

In 5 years time most people will forget. Politicians & others will think they've done their job providing crisis support so everything is over. From my experience you're needs will change over time so don't be afraid to ask for support regardless of how long after the even it is. Look after yourself.

Mel I agree about the timeline but for me everything changed so drastically that I never looked for things I no longer had. I thought I'd done a reasonable job of getting over it on my own except when their were serious fires near us such as Ash Wednesday & Black Saturday. I would leave because I couldn't cope with the fear of being trapped again. Unfortunately for some reason Black Saturday seemed to retraumatise me & left me getting triggered by things which previously had no impact. My logical brain is no longer able to take control back.

[quirkywords]

Mel,

I am so sorry about your experiences in 1983.

Hugs

Quirky

[Hanna3]

Hi quirky and everyone,

I haven't had anything like your experiences but just wanted to say I have a friend who lost her house in a fire caused by some kind of electrical malfunction - she and her young son just managed to get out in time and watch their house burn down. I know she has been struggling with the news coverage of these fires as they bring all that horror back to her. The trauma you've all gone through must be horrendous.

Quirky we are all thinking of you and hoping you are managing as well as you can at this time.

Just sending my best wishes to all of you.

[quirkywords]

Hanna and all,

I find the red tape very stressful. I realise people are doing their jobs but continuing retelling ones story takes it toll.

be kind to yiurself

quirky

[Hanna3]

Quirky, I can well imagine that having to retell what happened over and over must be re-traumatising for you each time. I'm so sorry you're going through all this, hugs from us here xx

[Lady_Nova]

I was at my psychologist appointment when the emergency services pings started coming through our phones, again. Wild gales, smoke, dust, ash and a burning sensation in the tears that just would not stay put.

Panic on the road as sticks and stones were thrown at my windshield. Sobbing because I was still not over New Years Eve.

My partner rubbing my leg reminding me to breath.

Now as the sun drops, that yellow evening colour of destruction and grief.

My very dear friend messages me, she has lost her house. How much more can we hurt?