PTSD recovery and medication

[AngeK]

Hi there I’m new to this.
I have had PTSD from a work incident for nearly 5 years now. I’ve been in inpatient Psych facilities on and off during that time. For months each time. It’s been really hard. I finally gave in and had ECT treatment, I had this weekly for 12 months and with a combination of ECT and medication, psychology and psychiatrist support, I now find myself in functional recovery.
I’ve moved away with my husband and our youngest daughter and I’ve been able to commence work and sustain it for 3 months now. Im a social worker.
my husband and daughter hate medication. Im ashamed to say that I’ve overdosed a few times in the past so my husband controls all of my meds. Still. My husband continues to question the amount that I’m taking because he considers I’m ‘better now’. I have discussed this with my Psychiatrist and Psychologist who have both said that PTSD and medication are both here to stay. Of course my medication will fluctuate but I will be on it for a long time and the reason I am where I am today is medication and support.
The biggest issue for me is that my husband and daughters opinions affect me deeply and I feel shame, guilt and humiliation about taking medication on top of the shame and guilt that is generally a part of PTSD.
I found this group in the hope that someone else has experienced something similar and may have some advice. It’s making life very difficult.
Love Ange x

[Leisa68]

Hi Ange,

It's good to hear from you and that you are reaching out for help. I'm sorry your husband and daughter have a negative view of medication. I also have PTSD and am on the medication for life, and would be very frightened if I did not have access to these meds. My partner does not mind, but he does not believe that I have a mental illness, in fact, he feels I am being lied to. It's hard to validate a condition with a person with this view, however, I try. And believe it or not, he is my carer!

Is there any chance that your husband would agree to talk to your psychiatrist or psychologist? They might be able to shed some light on how you have to cope after what has happened to you! Please try not to feel shame or guilt over taking something that you clearly need, it just comes with the territory when you have PTSD. You are still a brilliant, funny person, but just need some important help to get by. I do feel bad at times, but I have read a very good book on PTSD called "The body knows the score" by Bessel Van Der Kolk which I thumb through when I feel bad, it reminds me that I need medication to be the person I need to be.

I wish you all the very best, and take good care of yourself

Leisa68

[Guest_1643]

Hi angek,

I've had several inpatient admissions, abused medications previously and also feel a lot of shame at times.

I have ptsd and see a psychiatrist.

I don't think I want to take medication for life as it doesn't do much for me, I guess everyone is different. Right now it's meds dor anxiety and sleep.

I think it's important to make Ur own choices about Ur recovery. I know it's really hard to tune out others opinions, maybe some boundaries about what u discuss with them? X

[Dani70]

Hi AngeK,

i was reading your post and couldn't believe our similarities! Except my PTSD is caused by domestic violence with my first husband and I haven't had ECT but am considering it. I'm about to start trauma therapy whatever that means......

Recently my melds were reduced and my beautiful second husband thought I'll be okay. Unfortunately I relapsed and take more melds now than before. He too, locks away my melds and administers them.

I also have bipolar, borderline personality disorder and generalised anxiety. Maybe in time your husband and family will realise your meds help you. Even a GP could explain.

Take care!

[G_Nova]

Hi Ange,

I'm sorry that you are going through this. I have been close with a few people over the years who look down on medication and minimise its role in literally helping people stay alive. Its a frustrating position because the shame can grate away at you. But at the end of the day, the medication is life saving and peoples opinions wont change that. I agree with Leisa in that it might be helpful for your loved ones to talk with your psychiatrist as sometimes some people just need to listen to the professionals in order to understand how valuable medication is.

Wishing you well x

[Croix]

Dear AngeK~

Welcome here, like those above the idea that medication can be essential for PTSD long-term is something I live wiht too. As far as I can see it is, for me, going to be needed for a lifetime.

That being said as there are ups and downs in my condition -and in life- my medication has to be altered to be effective, including cautiously increasing or reducing dosage when appropriate.

Relying upon an occasions visit to a psych is not quick enough for a decent response, so I regulate my intake - which my psych trusts me to do - as needed.

From what you say it is the fact your family has known that you have abused medication that gives them an unfavorable view.

Perhaps a little lateral thinking might help. Instead of seeing regulation as being the main problem perhaps having a safety plan might be reassuring for all concerned..

Beyond Blue has a free phone app called BeyondNow

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/beyondnow-suicide-safety-planning

Here you fill in well in advance not only the things you would expect, such as emergency contacts, but perhaps even more importantly things you can do yourself to help lessen your distress.

Now this, if done effectively, is a pretty good tool ,it is a no-brainier ot reach for it when overwhelmed.

However the hard bit is thinking of all the things that will give you relief, let you feel less isolated and have even given you a lift or enjoyment -even fun - in the past.

Now this really needs the help of someone you know and trust. They may well be able to remember matters you had forgotten, from a particular walk, to a particular song, book, person to chat with or ... well it's unlimited. You can go for anything that might help.

I've everything from visiting a cafe to YouTube clips of comedians and music, plus tons more each designed to assist in a particular situation.

If somebody does help you then there are a couple of pretty good side effects. Firstly they know you have another avenue to go down, and secondly they themselves have had a hand in it -a measure of security and control for them. (It also makes it easier to talk to then when you are in need).

Perhaps over time your family will change their rigorous thinking.

What do you think?

Croix