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PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Rupes79 Struggling with therapy
  • replies: 15

Hi All, I started therapy a few months ago to work through a fairly traumatic life event. Leading up to the therapy I was functioning quite normally but I wasn’t happy. My psychologist diagnosed me with mild depression. About six weeks ago I started ... View more

Hi All, I started therapy a few months ago to work through a fairly traumatic life event. Leading up to the therapy I was functioning quite normally but I wasn’t happy. My psychologist diagnosed me with mild depression. About six weeks ago I started getting very anxious before each session. I would drink too much alcohol in the days leading up to therapy and it was occupying all my thoughts. I feel like my depression has increased and I’ve had to double the dose of my medication which has horrible side effects. I cancelled this weeks session because I was simply too worked up and distressed to go ahead with it. My psychologist wants me to continue as she thinks we are making progress but the more I think about it the more anxious and depressed I become. I’ve been thinking suicidal thoughts and I am not really sure of the difference between thinking and acting on suicide. I don’t want to talk to anyone I know about this for fear of alarming them but I am a little worried. Any advice would be appreciated. Cheers Adam

Rah33 Sleep avoidance and resentment for being awake
  • replies: 2

I have been trying to sleep more and avoid waking up. When I wake up I resent being awake. I resent having to deal with what I am going through. I had a terrible night trying to get to sleep my mind doesn’t stop thinking about being sexually assaulte... View more

I have been trying to sleep more and avoid waking up. When I wake up I resent being awake. I resent having to deal with what I am going through. I had a terrible night trying to get to sleep my mind doesn’t stop thinking about being sexually assaulted. It like I can’t control the thoughts and then I just start resenting my life. I have suicidal thoughts but don’t even want to die, I just want the thoughts and feelings to stop and I feel like I am trapped.

Rang Multiple Traumas
  • replies: 8

Hi, I'm new to all this so here I go, If anyone can relate please comment, I really don’t know where I’m at lately but I’m feeling very low and struggling with ptsd ,have sought help from my gp. It all starts 23 years ago when my wife and I lost our ... View more

Hi, I'm new to all this so here I go, If anyone can relate please comment, I really don’t know where I’m at lately but I’m feeling very low and struggling with ptsd ,have sought help from my gp. It all starts 23 years ago when my wife and I lost our first child, a baby girl who was still born. Life for us was very hard for some time. Never really got over it just got through it “somehow”. We now have 3 boys. A few years ago my wife, my 3 sons where fishing at a lake on the shore when a boat driven by a middle aged man pulls up near us screaming for help. There was 2 couples in the boat that had crashed into a tree at high speed, they where all thrown through the windscreen and had horrific injuries. I’ll leave the rest up to your imagination. It was just terrible. About 4 years ago I witnessed a domestic murder/ suicide at very close proximity to our house where a lady I knew quite well was a victim on a murder suicide. She survived he passed away. My family also witnessed this terrible event. Last year I watched as my best friend was cut down and passed away due to pancreatic cancer, then later in the year my mother in law past away with liver disease. Finally my beautiful Dad passed away at the start of the year which has left me shattered. So now I find myself in a terrible place. Hardly sleeping, not eating, not going to work,angry, moody and on the verge of throwing my job in.

braxthemusicman i think im losing my mind
  • replies: 3

The last 3 months have been really bad for my mental health (due to breakups, living situation, etc) but recently it just spiralled downhill. I feel like I can't trust the people I'm most closest with, and that I am a bourden on them when they want t... View more

The last 3 months have been really bad for my mental health (due to breakups, living situation, etc) but recently it just spiralled downhill. I feel like I can't trust the people I'm most closest with, and that I am a bourden on them when they want to just chill. I feel like a different person everyday, but one thing remains the same; I'm losing my mind. It hurts to cry and speak out, I can't love anyone the way I use too, I love different people at different times and I don't know what the hell is happening to me. I feel weak all the time, I feel like my friends don't want to hangout with me because they are sick of seeing me. I've also been hearing voices making me think of things I hate about myself. I don't know if this has to do with events the last few months, or a relapse of a bad depression episode, or if I'm schizophrenic or bipolar or anything, all I know is I'm going insane and I need help, but afraid to ask because of anxiety.

QueenOfBadIdeas Completely unable to talk about trauma
  • replies: 3

Hi, first post on these forums! Basically, something happened in my family life when I was about 8. Technically it's still ongoing. I don't know if it would be considered trauma... I feel stupid calling it that as I myself was never hurt or in danger... View more

Hi, first post on these forums! Basically, something happened in my family life when I was about 8. Technically it's still ongoing. I don't know if it would be considered trauma... I feel stupid calling it that as I myself was never hurt or in danger of being hurt. The thing is, I completely and utterly cannot talk about it. I never have been able to with anyone except for my family. Every time I try I completely shut down -- whenever the surrounding topic comes up I freeze. I have been going to therapy since after this event happened for general anxiety/ depression stuff but I feel like I wasted it all since this huge thing has never been hinted to. My mum sat in the room with every therapist I had until I was 15 and directly changed the narrative. I know I can only get better if I investigate this, but I don't know how. I feel like I've wasted so much money on pointless therapy sessions. I don't know what to do anymore. A while back I was supposed to have an appointment with a psychiatrist but I broke down when he asked me to recount my childhood and I just couldn't speak. I apologised for wasting his time. I've promised myself and my psychologists that one day I would open up, but I can't. I even wrote it down in a word document, but I can't bring myself to send it. I've been sitting on this secret for over a decade... I just feel so completely damaged. I wonder how much of my difficulties with my mental health have actually been caused by this. I really don't know how I can recover from this, or how my life would look if I told someone (I think I'd feel guilty), or if I'm just being dramatic... I know I'm at the point right now that all I need is the right support and help, but I'm aware that means talking about it and I'm so so scared. Basically, what can I do?

Shelly333 Multiple traumatic events
  • replies: 2

Hi my name is shelly im new here and not sure where to start but im looking for help as im not sure who to reach out to for a diagnosis or help and feel like suddenly its all too much to deal with i was abused by my best friends father at about 8 yea... View more

Hi my name is shelly im new here and not sure where to start but im looking for help as im not sure who to reach out to for a diagnosis or help and feel like suddenly its all too much to deal with i was abused by my best friends father at about 8 years of age i blocked it out and only starting thinking about it constantly at the age of 50 after finding said childhood friend on Facebook it was consuming my every thought so i decided to go to police and report matter and miraculously was no longer consumed by thoughts of it until i was advised at end of it all that the matter couldnt proceed due to no evidence and time passed i pushed it down cause at the same time i find out he was not gonna have to face what he did i found out my son was addicted to drugs and living a very dangerous lifestyle but thats too big of a story so i became consumed with saving him organising rehab etc which went on for months and of course nothing worked because i wanted it not him until eventually he did after he harmed himself in front of me and numerous other traumatic events he come home and asked for help and everything was great i went back to work first day i did his old friend came around and took him within 45 mins he was admitted to hospital was in coma 5 days but all good home recovered well and things looking great but now all bad thoughts have returned i wont leave my house if i do i start to get physically sick i make excuses not to go to even the shops i wont answer friends calls i make up excuses like my phone broken etc and im embarrassed to say all i seem to do is smoke marijuana but i feel everything closing in and its affecting most of my relationships any direction anyone can steer me in would e greatly appreciated

n2k12 Wondering i also have PTSD
  • replies: 1

I have made a post earlier on , which i hope will be approved. i am wondering if i suffer from PTSD. i have taken several different versions of online "tests" which i know are not accurate diagnosis'. they just provide insight. And they all say the s... View more

I have made a post earlier on , which i hope will be approved. i am wondering if i suffer from PTSD. i have taken several different versions of online "tests" which i know are not accurate diagnosis'. they just provide insight. And they all say the same thing, extreme / high risk of PTSD. i am wondering, please, any PTSD sufferers, can you explain what its like, and how it "feels" and how it impacts your daily life. i have high functioning asperger syndrome, and other diagnosis' and i have learned most recently, i cannot trust my own thoughts, i dont know how i feel on a day to day basis. only time i know what i am "feeling" is when i cry, because their are tears, and my heart hurts and goes cold, and when i am angry. because i get very jittery and end up having a seizure if i get to upset. i basically sit here, flat and emotionless. i am capable of laughing. it seems people dont like it though. they say i am childish, and my friend said i have the mental age of 13. which actually makes sense. as i have always gotten along better with people much younger than me, and seem to be on the same wavelength, and just "click". especially if they are autistic to. even girls, as young as 15 have tried to date / get with me. i know this is totally inappropriate so i turn them down respectfully. i cop an earful for it, but i know its the right thing to do. i just wish i knew why someone that young could possibly have a "crush" on someone like me, and my age. which i disclose well and truly early on. like when i am introduced to a girl, or if she talks to me. i tell her my name and age. its very confusing. i realised i have gone a bit off topic here. sorry. i do that. just looking for advice.

MyProfile Coping with the distress from the collective of traumatic events
  • replies: 2

I was just on Facebook and noticed someone posted a picture of some people on their way to be executed in the Holocaust. I find images like that extremely distressing. I avoid the news because it really upsets me. How are we supposed to cope when we ... View more

I was just on Facebook and noticed someone posted a picture of some people on their way to be executed in the Holocaust. I find images like that extremely distressing. I avoid the news because it really upsets me. How are we supposed to cope when we are bombarded with distressing images and information of traumatic events that don't even directly affect us? I worry that it is intentional! I'm still so haunted by 9/11, by the planes crashing or going missing over the years, the world wars and the Holocaust, the building collapse recently.. Basically all the horrible stuff blasted at us by the media. I literally imagine how all the people must have felt, their suffering and fear and sadness, their last moments, their family's grief. How are humans supposed to cope with this much pain? It destroys me and preoccupies me unless I deliberately force myself to think of something else.

Small Sexually assaulted by my uncle
  • replies: 2

Everyone is saying it’s my fault and I’m not sure what to do anymore…

Everyone is saying it’s my fault and I’m not sure what to do anymore…