I am a model and because of mean things my mother said to me I worry constantly about my appearance

[Scapegoated]

 I think I have body dysmorphia because I spend a lot of time thinking abolut the appearance of my nose. Even though I have modeled for years I still think it is not right and my mother and older sister were jealous of me when I was little and said things about my appearance because my adult sibling came to the agency (modelling) and they did not accept her. Ever since then she has criticized everything about me and i was just wondering if anyone else here has experienced constant criticism and emotional abuse. I feel it is like stalking-watchung until I make a mistake then piouncing on me. It is really hard because i still have 2 years of school to finish before I can be rid of these abusers. I love my father but he was not strong enough to get away form my mother's constant abuse. She emotionally abuses him too. She manipulates him into thinking he could not do anything without her but his success is based solely on his intelligence. He doesn;t see that but I do. There are things i don;t see like how everyone says I am pretty I am thinking about the mean things my mother and sister said. I think it is a defence mechanism so that I don;t get conceited but trust me i am far from that. I have obsessive thoughts about my appearance because of how they hurt me.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Scapegoated,

We are sorry to hear that you are going through so much right now with your family. We understand you must be feeling so hurt and overwhelmed right now, especially after hearing such awful things from your family members. Please know that you never have to go through this alone, and support is always here for you.

If you would like to talk to someone we would recommend that you get in contact with the Beyond Blue Support Service. They are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals.

We also think it would be worthwhile to have a look around the forums and see if there are any other conversations that you feel resonate with you. 

Thank you again for being brave and for sharing here today. Please feel free to check back in and update the community on how you are going if you feel comfortable doing so. 

[Guest9337]

Morning Scapegoated.

Ok. Scape goated is defined as "a person who is blamed for the wrongdoings, mistakes, or faults of others, especially for reasons of expediency."

Yeh plenty of people do experience constant criticism. Some also experience emotional abuse.

Take a typical school, the focus of school is to make people "smarter" essentially is the perception. So the teachers teach, lets say 10 things/ideas. Us students practice, and think/feel and produce something. The teacher gives a grade like 7/10, and then typically points out the 3 things we got wrong or not quite right.

That's called critical analysis - targeting at corrections only, or mostly.

Gets damned hard that kind of criticalness all the time!

Another option is to reinforce the 7/10 we already got. So we can play that up aiming for a 8/10.

Maybe fashion and beauty are the topic? Maybe I look naturally like a 7/10, but with great clothes and great makeup I become a 9/10.

Really critical people will still point at that 1 bit we got wrong, or isn't "pretty".

"Nice" people point out the 9/10.

"neutral" people, might make no comment.

affirmative people might affirm the 9/10 and then offer a suggestion about how to improve that 1 bit.

Does any of that help at all? Whats my help score? lol.

dng

[Guest_1643]

hi sophie m, i was wandering if it might be more helpful to point this user in the direction of the Butterfly Foundation, which specialised in body image.

The beyond blue helplines may not have the right sensitivity to this issue.
Thanks