Coping with bushfires

[Sophie_M]

Beyond Blue would like all individuals accessing our online forums in relation to Australia’s bushfire crisis to know that we are here for them.

If you’re feeling worried, we want you to know that it’s okay and you are not alone.

The impacts of this crisis will be ongoing and everyone will have different experiences, thoughts, feelings and emotions.

Even if you haven't been directly affected by these fires you may still feel sad, overwhelmed, stressed and upset.

We hope that you will use this safe, understanding space to talk, share and support one another on a united front.

It can be difficult to know what to say in times like these.

The forum community have been engaging in discussions that you may find helpful: Are you managing to be ok with all these dreadful bushfires?

You may wish to share what you are doing to help cope, or simply to share your experience with others.

Beyond Blue has developed a dedicated resource about bushfires and mental health, including practical advice about dealing with the emotional impact of bushfires, information about the signs and symptoms of emotional distress, tips for supporting children and young people, and links to several useful websites.

Taking care of yourself:

• Limit your exposure to social media – it’s okay to have a break and it’s important you make sure you’re not becoming overwhelmed.
• Speak with our friendly forum community about how you’re feeling
• Set realistic goals that keep you motivated, but don't take on too much (most people in this situation talk of recovery as a journey not a sprint)
• Give yourself time

Seeking help when you are in a bushfire affected area:

• Follow the advice of your local state fire services if you are in a bushfire affected area.
  State fire services:
  NSW RFS
  QLD RFS
  VIC
  SA
  TAS
  NT
  WA
  ACT

• If you require emergency support please contact 000

As a community, let’s help one another through sharing and connecting during this difficult time. This could be by listing links to articles or resources you have found helpful, tips for what is working to help you manage or sharing your thoughts, feelings or experience related to the bushfire crisis.  

Whatever it may be, we're here. 

[Peppermintbach]

Hi everyone,

My heart breaks for so many of you here...

Again, I don’t really know what to say. Everything just seems rather trite coming from me right now...

For those of us who live in the city/metropolitan areas, and not that I speak for everyone in those area, but I think as a bit of a generalisation, there’s a general feeling of sadness, shock and horror. Something like “what just happened?”

My heart goes out to all of you. I don’t know what to say but I’m so, so sorry for all that you’re going through xoxo

[quirkywords]

Just a hint to to people wanting to help someone who has lost their home.

People offer their clothes and this is very kind but often the person receiving feels obligated to take them they may not fit or suit the person.

If you can , think about a gift card as that gives the person control to buy what they want.

Also this money being raised may not go to individuals. I have people said you will be ok because of all the donations. I hope they are not caught up in red tape and money goes to fire trucks and money to widows of firefighters.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Quirky and a wave to all,

Thank you so much for those very valid tips and advice about donations/attempts to help those who have lost their homes...

I think you make a really good point about how we should try to help out in a way that is respectful and protects the dignity of those who have lost so much...

I think some charities have actually explicitly asked people to stop donating clothes, because of an excess supply (in some cases) and how sometimes it’s just not appropriate for someone’s needs. Those charities have, in most cases, asked for monetary donations instead, because it’s liquid in the sense that money can be used to buy things/repair things/ give grants/etc as needed...

I think what you’re saying is very true about how we need to be aware of how charities are using the money raised. I think there are some charities like Red Cross Australia (to the best of my knowledge) that is giving cash grants to people who have lost their homes, for example, as one way that they allocate the funds raised.

But again, you’re absolutely right in saying that it’s worthwhile to take some time to understand how funds are being used before donating...

Thank you so much for your wisdom and sharing your experience with us.

Again, I’m so sorry for what you have lost. I know my words won’t help recover your loss, but I’m thinking of you.

Kind thoughts to all too who are struggling and hurting xoxo

[blondguy]

Hello everyone reading and posting on the forums

Nurse Jenn mentioned "I have found that by taking a break from both the news and social media and the constant images has helped me"

please be gentle to yourselves

Paul

[quirkywords]

Nurse Jenn for me social media has been the only way of keeping in touch with the community I have left behind. I had many emails, and posts on FB enquiring how I am and encouraging me and people reconnecting from my town and others I haven't hers from for 40 years.

I understand for some people it is too much it was a lifeline that made me feel connected and reconnected/

I agree with avoiding the news and constant images of destruction. I have been sharing what my shop was like . People sharing their memories of my business has also helped me.

I do know social media can be overwhelming but for me it has helped as I am using it to feel connected.

Quirky

[Elizabeth CP]

Quirky mentioned I do know social media can be overwhelming but for me it has helped as I am using it to feel connected. We are all different in our situations and reactions. The right way is the way which works for you as an individual regardless of what works for others. We can get help ideas and support from others but the bottom line is they are not living in your shoes so do what works for you and allow others the same privilege.

I can relate to Quirky's comment re being given clothes etc. They are needed in the immediate situation but having things which feel right to you is important. For those who are close to someone who is affected thinking about what they want or are likely to miss can help get ideas for helping. Overseas family members sent us copies of photos of our family. Even now decades later those photos are special because they are all we have to connect with our previous life. Someone dropped off some books where we were staying. For me knowing someone had done that for me really helped. Being able to lose myself in those books helped me deal with the trauma. I also remember over 6 months after the fire someone at the new church we attended after moving to a new house found out what had happened and got a collection from the church before taking mum out to buy a nice dinner set. Not something she 'needed' but something 'nice'.

I wish I was in a position to take Quirky to a nice bookshop to buy a book that she really wanted or to give he a gift card to spend on whatever she wants or needs right now. I hope there are nice people around you to help and support you and let you know they really care. Sending lots of love & best wishes to Quirky & anyone else affected

[Lady_Nova]

I finally got someone to come and look at a door the was destroyed in the over week long power outage. My partner has uncontrolled epilepsy and often jerks wildly, these are myoclonic seizures. I think the door had already lost integrity when, in the deepest darkest of night, he jerked it right off it's spine whilst trying to find the bathroom. Everyone is so busy trying to help that I felt really bad asking for someone to come fit a new door.

[Moonstruck]

Dear Quirky..... It's awful to hear that you have been so affected in this tragic situation...I am so very sorry and also would not hesitate in sending you a Gift Card to use in any way you wish....I admire your courage and bravery...I don't think I would be able to do it...just wish I could say more , except send loving thoughts and a deep desire for some peace to come to you .....love, Moon S

[Soberlicious96]

Hi all.

These last weeks have been some of the most difficult I have had in years, in regards to the fires.I should also warn you, that I have given some detail below (third paragraph) which could be triggering, so if you don't want to read ahead, then please don't. My experience of what happened many years ago is the reason for my current struggle.

While I have not been directly impacted as such in these current fires - as in had to evacuate - I most certainly have been impacted with my mental and emotional health. I live fairly close to the recent fire activity and have had LOTS of smoke in the area, and plenty of breathing difficulties. There's been (was, but not so much now) MANY emergency warnings on the local radio, and, because I work in furniture retail, plenty of evacuees who are now without homes, coming into work, looking so devastated and exhausted ......

So why does that affect me so much? Well, I was directly affected by the Ash Wendesday fires in 1983. We were not able to evacuate the area in time, and became trapped in burning building. And in that building, a man died in my arms because he could no longer breathe. We laid under wet blankets, listening to the horrendous roar outside ....... and then, at about 4am we were rescued by a bunch of VERY BRAVE firefighters and bus driver who drove us out and away from the fire. And we lost EVERYTHING. Imagine, if you can, not even having any underwear or a toothbrush. Myself and our family had literally run for our lives. Our pets were also lost in the fire.

Having said that, I am very lucky that I did not lose any family members. We did rebuild a new home and manage to 'get on with' our lives ........ but it's at times like these I feel permanently scarred. I struggle with nightmares, a lack of sleep and depression and anxiety in the 'mid to high' range.

But I've seen my doctor, I have a GREAT support network, and I know I'm gonna get 'well' again ..... as in, the nightmares will ease up and the depression and anxiety is being treated as I write this.

I'll be okay.

After all, my Christmas present to myself this year was my motorbike licence, and getting a motorbike!!!

Oh, and a chocolate frappe a day helps too!

Anyway, am keeping everyone in my thoughts and prayers. Including myself. Take care. And I promise I will to.

Mel. xox

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks for sharing your story Mel. It helped me to feel not so alone or strange. We have not been directly impacted by the fires. None of them are near us but the constant media coverage & smoke haze is triggering for me. The bushfire which destroyed our house was relatively small but still destroyed a number of houses & killed 3 people including firemen. Being surrounded by fire & stuck in a burning building is not something I'd wish on my worst enemy. Like you I am grateful for the firemen who escorted us to safety as well as others who provided housing & other essentials until we could get a new house.

I often feel stupid for reacting like I do when not under threat but I can't help it. I have only recently started getting help. Good luck Mel.