Complex cptsd situation.

[Mudcakes]

Okay. Basically I’m in a weird situation not many would understand. I grew up with an emotionally, financially and coercive control abusive parent. Who also was a major reason I’m an only child. It put my family into poverty and many times had to be worried where we would sleep at night. The abuser often, used their passion for their favourite sport team as their weapon of choice. If the team lost it was a scary time. Basically me being their daughter meant nothing to them.  So this sports team is deeply triggering to me.

The abuser is now fully blown rich now and this team are now having them and their company as a partnership and made a highlight article about how they give back and want to stop poverty and involved with a charity. I feel sick, I have used this charity for support before because of this abuser but no longer can feel safe to .Basically the news of this partnership and how it keeps getting so messed up makes me feel sick, plus we gotta move soon cause our rent is going up, meanwhile the abuser has millions of dollars. 

I’m safe. Just had to include that.

[Doors24]

Dear Mudcakes,

I apologize for the late reply, I have been off the forums lately.

I hope your situation went the way that you wanted it to go.

You are showing great strength, resilience and decision making. So, I hope that no matter who enters your life, that you can know that, so their input doesn't disturb your life as much.

I understand that we have to do things we just don't want to do. But there are really good reasons why we do them. Reminding yourself of all the reasonable and sound reasons you are doing something, can be a good booster in courage. And being kind to yourself after with some self love, can make a hard task, just that tiny bit better. A coffee, bubble tea or your favourite treat from the bakery can all be little "well done's". A face mask or bubble bath can work too. Even a sit on a park bench in some sunshine, whilst watching people pass by.

I really do hope that you linked in with a psychologist or that is still on your list of things to do. That is important to have that outlet.

Wishing you the best,

Doors24