Complex cptsd situation.

[Mudcakes]

Okay. Basically I’m in a weird situation not many would understand. I grew up with an emotionally, financially and coercive control abusive parent. Who also was a major reason I’m an only child. It put my family into poverty and many times had to be worried where we would sleep at night. The abuser often, used their passion for their favourite sport team as their weapon of choice. If the team lost it was a scary time. Basically me being their daughter meant nothing to them.  So this sports team is deeply triggering to me.

The abuser is now fully blown rich now and this team are now having them and their company as a partnership and made a highlight article about how they give back and want to stop poverty and involved with a charity. I feel sick, I have used this charity for support before because of this abuser but no longer can feel safe to .Basically the news of this partnership and how it keeps getting so messed up makes me feel sick, plus we gotta move soon cause our rent is going up, meanwhile the abuser has millions of dollars. 

I’m safe. Just had to include that.

[Croix]

Dear Mudcakes~

Welcome -I do like your Lab Tests:)

As you know the world is not always a fair place, and to see the toxic get the rewards is pretty disheartening. All I can say is that there is a sort of balance, I've found many kind people in all walks of life. Maybe the charity workers are kind, depends.

As far as needing that charity is concerned of course it brings back all the horrible memories, is there anyone who can go with you and support you? It could make it possible.

If I remember you had a psychologist at one stage for your CPTSD. Are you till able to go? If you can get any clinical support that would be good, CPTSD is as you say complex and can need assistance for a very long time. 

The Blue Knot Foundation tries to help those who have had an abusive childhood, if you have not done so you could  give them a call. They do daytime counseling every day, do not be put off by the word "redress", that is only a specialized served, the counceling is on the same number.

You will always be welcome here

Croix

[Croix]

Dear Mudcakes~

I forgot to mention something that might be helpfull. I mentioned if you needed to approach that charity to have a friend or someone else to support you as you visit, maybe even talk on your behalf. 

Not being on you own does make a difference and sometimes reliance on charities is unavoidable, as very many Australians are finding out at this time of year.

Now, what I did not say was to plan. You know such a visit would be upsetting, so if there is anyway you can go and do something else straight after that too helps. Anything to distract, a movie perhaps, or a trip to somewhere relaxing - I don't know what your preferences are but please plan on something.

I do this and at the end (in my case) of the movie my mind has shifted gear and the problem is less

Croix