PTSD and Trauma

Two years and still struggling

replies: 3

Hi, There’s probably a lot to unpack here tbh, but the sum of it is basically 2 years ago my family and I were homeless. While living in temp accomodation, I walked in on my then partner of 12 years sexually assaulting our oldest child. I can’t go in... View more

Hi, There’s probably a lot to unpack here tbh, but the sum of it is basically 2 years ago my family and I were homeless. While living in temp accomodation, I walked in on my then partner of 12 years sexually assaulting our oldest child. I can’t go into too much detail with that because it’s still within the courts. Since then, my children and I have finally gotten a home, but are constantly harassed and tormented by the ex and his family/friends who all support/encourage what he did to my child. I get ridiculed for supporting my child to make their police report, for my child being put through a medical examination that day. I have no idea what is in my child’s statement at all. I have ASD, adhd and various other mental health, and my children have various disabilities. It’s a lot. Trying to support my child, I’m lost in that regard. They can’t talk to me about that day until I’ve testified in court, I can’t talk to them. They’ve already testified as a pre recording but the other party keeps pushing court back with his lawyer not being ready (despite having 2 years to get ready!). literally today someone told me to go kill myself before they organise it to be done themselves. I don’t see the point in calling police and reporting it anymore, 2 years his family and friends have gotten away with this stuff directed towards me and my child despite an avo. My child spoke up and I got blasted on social media because they spoke up. I’m being accused of bullying a teenager(my child’s paternal cousin) who has literally physically assaulted my child. I have random people who are his friends putting stuff online and locally, I don’t want to move again and be homeless again, or move away from my entire family. how do I go forward and keep supporting my child through their trauma when I don’t know how to keep going myself. I haven’t had any counselling yet for the day our life went to shit(still waiting on victims services and availability). on top of my child’s trauma, I was also being financially and emotionally manipulated by the ex who was and is an extreme narcissist and stole thousands from me, pushed my family away even though I rely on them, hated that my former best friend and I were so close( his brother in law). He couldn’t handle that our children respected me over him and loved me more, and always tried to poison them against me. He would be physical with them all, over minor issues that could be dealt with by talking to the children.

Controlling my anger having ADHD .

replies: 5

Hi Everyone,I would like some advice how to control my anger . I’ve always been a shy quiet person, but for the last 2 or so months, things have been difficult to talk to others. I have seen my GP recently to change my ADHD meds thinking this would h... View more

Hi Everyone,I would like some advice how to control my anger . I’ve always been a shy quiet person, but for the last 2 or so months, things have been difficult to talk to others. I have seen my GP recently to change my ADHD meds thinking this would help me change my emotions. But nothing has worked as yet. It’s affecting my relationship with my wife and children’s ( mind you two out of the three children I have had ADHD too )and l think anxiety is starting to set in. I would be most appreciative if someone out there can help me with this situation I have. I’m seeing my psychiatrist on the weekend for some advice and to change my meds again…. Thanks

Meaning of Life

replies: 2

Hi everyone,I’m currently in a phase where life feels deeply confusing and meaningless to me.I can’t wrap my head around why we’re here or what we’re supposed to be doing, and these thoughts sometimes trigger panic and intense anxiety. I’ve lost my s... View more

Hi everyone,I’m currently in a phase where life feels deeply confusing and meaningless to me.I can’t wrap my head around why we’re here or what we’re supposed to be doing, and these thoughts sometimes trigger panic and intense anxiety. I’ve lost my sense of joy and purpose, and even the things I used to love don’t reach me anymore. If you’ve ever felt this way, how did you deal with these existential thoughts without feeling overwhelmed by them?

Stuck in a place where I don't belong

replies: 1

People think I am suicidal, but I am always like this - whenever I have any restriction of any freedom, I freak out, it doesnt matter whatever is prescribed, or even if I am not on any medication as approved by a clinic. As soon as dad and stepmom st... View more

People think I am suicidal, but I am always like this - whenever I have any restriction of any freedom, I freak out, it doesnt matter whatever is prescribed, or even if I am not on any medication as approved by a clinic. As soon as dad and stepmom started talking about pek chai and ah gau years ago, making weird rude names to install onto people, and when I knew there was such thing as affordable broadband and I was stuck on dial up, and I didn’t get to eat a sunny side up egg everyday, I was always going to be upset. (Trust me, I can recall every single thing that makes me upset, my brain does work differently) Some call it suicidal, but people think I am weird, call me names, because I am like a computer, only seeking a version of existence that I am comfortable with, but that is also rude and racist. So what if there are fixed items: flavours, things, tactile, sensations I need to feel happier? Any restriction of those if done by others is an unwarranted experiment, at worse deprivation of liberty. But if not, and I can’t find those myself, then it’s still items I require to have or feel in order to function. And when I attain a level of comfort, even if I don't blame others, it feels like gets taken away for no reason? What is so wrong about my thinking? Why can’t I just be allowed to be me? Why are vetting case managers so weird with neurodiversity? It is not childish. Every single adult is different and unique. It is not an indicator of illness. How can I talk to my counsellor about things so that I can be released from this place where I do not belong? What are my legal rights as a Victorian and Australian?

The worst type of betrayal

replies: 4

My heart is in my throat. My partner of 5 years sexually assaulted my 14 year old while he was intoxicated. The mandatory processes are in place And he says he doesn't remember. I asked him to leave the house as soon as I found out and my daughter is... View more

My heart is in my throat. My partner of 5 years sexually assaulted my 14 year old while he was intoxicated. The mandatory processes are in place And he says he doesn't remember. I asked him to leave the house as soon as I found out and my daughter is safe. He knows he can't come back My heart aches for my little girl. And I feel so messed up because I am grieving our relationship and I feel so guilty. Please help me get through this

Complex cptsd situation.

replies: 2

Okay. Basically I’m in a weird situation not many would understand. I grew up with an emotionally, financially and coercive control abusive parent. Who also was a major reason I’m an only child. It put my family into poverty and many times had to be ... View more

Okay. Basically I’m in a weird situation not many would understand. I grew up with an emotionally, financially and coercive control abusive parent. Who also was a major reason I’m an only child. It put my family into poverty and many times had to be worried where we would sleep at night. The abuser often, used their passion for their favourite sport team as their weapon of choice. If the team lost it was a scary time. Basically me being their daughter meant nothing to them. So this sports team is deeply triggering to me.The abuser is now fully blown rich now and this team are now having them and their company as a partnership and made a highlight article about how they give back and want to stop poverty and involved with a charity. I feel sick, I have used this charity for support before because of this abuser but no longer can feel safe to .Basically the news of this partnership and how it keeps getting so messed up makes me feel sick, plus we gotta move soon cause our rent is going up, meanwhile the abuser has millions of dollars. I’m safe. Just had to include that.

2 steps forward, 1 step back, but somehow, it does get better!

replies: 1

I want to share how 2025 has been a mostly kind and good year for me. For context, in 2020 a death in my family triggered BD and I endured multiple relapses, being sent to psych wards a few times. After BD I got an ASD diagnosis - 'late diagnosed' fe... View more

I want to share how 2025 has been a mostly kind and good year for me. For context, in 2020 a death in my family triggered BD and I endured multiple relapses, being sent to psych wards a few times. After BD I got an ASD diagnosis - 'late diagnosed' female, woohoo...thanks. Therefore, when I made my first post here I was in the absolute slumps. These bizarre experiences of a disorder that made me see hallucinations and have delusions not only had shattered my world, but after my illness, I seemed to have lost a bulk of my cognitive capabilities to make 'art' at a high quality level like I used to. My psychiatrist still doesn't know what caused it; it could be depression? Or the meds? We tried everything. I has been a loss for me. I grieved a past me. My self esteem was in the gutter for years. I couldn't face old friends. My legs shook with dread when I tried to draw in the evening like I used to love to do. With years, the C-PTSD has faded. I made new friends, and a lot of them always end up saying they love my art - the art I can do now. I am also proudly graduating uni in March of next year a mature aged student. Also, most importantly as of this year, I am a new solo mum to a baby girl, and she is my world~ All these happy accomplishments have reconnected me with my self esteem I though I had completely lost after my psychotic break. But today was not one such OK day. I felt lonely and anxious about being a solo mum - especially whether I'll ever be a GOOD mum. I chatted with a Beyond Blue agent, but I just wound myself up As when I'm upset, I write more meladramatic and horrible things. TDLR; but I had a tough day. But I know that my bad days are fewer and far-er between this year. I don't know how and when life precisely got better for me, other than I just kept desiring to be free from the 'leg shaking out of dread' that used to hit me at 8:30pm on the dot every night, and weirdly, that shaking leg thing seemed to vanish for the most part this year! I also have kept a gratitude journal and a pen next to my bed and written in it most nights since 2021.Every night, I just write 1 line starting with 'I am grateful for'. At first I was fighting the idea (since a family member gifted me a journal and told me to start doing it lol). But somehow, this has become a cherished ritual. No, journaling hasn't fixed me, but when I flip through the book, I may not always see an awesome perfect day, but I see that I am someone who always keeps trying. Thanks for reading.

Coercive control / financial abuse

replies: 3

Hi, here’s my story. I have spent the past 30 years working in the international oil & gas industry. I’ve worked all over the world but mostly in the Middle East and North Africa. I finished working a 5 year contract in Algeria a few months ago and h... View more

Hi, here’s my story. I have spent the past 30 years working in the international oil & gas industry. I’ve worked all over the world but mostly in the Middle East and North Africa. I finished working a 5 year contract in Algeria a few months ago and have decided that I’m done with working away and will now semi retire and stay home. During the past 5 years I have paid off all our houses ($3 million worth), our super is very healthy and we have no debts. I recently discovered that over the past 5 years, all the money that I have sent back home to our joint accounts has been taken by my wife and put into a personal account in her name only. I discovered this in October when I had an accident with a table saw at home and required emergency surgery on my thumb. I had to pay $4000 up front for this surgery so asked my wife where all my money (around $250K) was and that I needed $4K to pay for the surgery. My wife refused to give me my money so I had to pay with a credit card. She flat out refuses to put the money back into a joint account, claiming that “you’ll waste it”. That is simply untrue. She has also been getting her pay deposited in a personal account, then transferring half of it to a joint account each fortnight. I have no idea where she’s hiding the rest. I also have no idea of exactly how much I have in savings, or where she’s keeping the money. A few weeks ago I went to the police to tell them my situation and asked where I stood legally and if they had any numbers I could call for support. The officer told me that I was being subjected to coercive control, which is a form of domestic violence. Therefore the police were duty bound to investigate and came to our home to question my wife. I wasn’t present during this interview but my adult daughter was and she later told me that her mother told the police a pack of lies. The parting words to me from the police sergeant was “get a lawyer mate”. Not a thing has happened to my wife. We have not spoken for close to 4 weeks now. She has moved out of our room and is sleeping in a spare bedroom (fine by me!) Ive also had legal advice which was pretty much useless. The way I see it at the moment is that she has gotten away with simply helping herself to a quarter million of my hard earned cash and there’s nothing I can do about it. My only option now is to officially separate from her. Then the courts will ask for full disclosure and she will have to show where the money is. I am totally under her control - I don’t have any access to MY money and she’s generously providing half her pay each fortnight. I can’t leave because I have no money to leave. Ive spent a lifetime working in 3rd world dumps and was finally looking forward to semi retirement. But that’s all out the window now because she’s forcing me to get back on a plane for the next 3rd world dump assignment. Im at my wits end and don’t know what to do.

Triggered by Supervisor at work..

replies: 3

It has been years...But recently a supervisor off night shift..Has returned to dayshift...I lasted 4 days with his behaviour. I'm a senior fifo construction worker, I know my stuff, I enjoy the detail and pressure. His return, or for myself new expos... View more

It has been years...But recently a supervisor off night shift..Has returned to dayshift...I lasted 4 days with his behaviour. I'm a senior fifo construction worker, I know my stuff, I enjoy the detail and pressure. His return, or for myself new exposure.I was warned He will throw you under the bus etc... So until these 4 days, I was happy loving my job.Since , I'm actually avoiding work, sending text messages drunk to my other supervisor.I am actually aware I have been triggered, but I Don't have total control.It's like an inner part of me is threatened, and yeah I'm doing the fight or flee response.Not happy..Don't want to quit job, Made a formal complaint, but that just triggered me more.. How do I navigate, the Hr stuff, whilst triggered as, supervisor has a history and knows exactly how to abuse or behave without actually invoking an obvious misuse of power or authority... It's been 8 yrs since I was last on here...This 1 has me rattled, like a narcissistic professional supervisor.... Any ideas?I'll quit my job, but why should I ?Not my Fault...??????

Ratrace

replies: 3

Hi, Im 24 & recieve a side income which i can live on with some frugality & minimalism, now i dont wanna metion what it is, however I did have many jobs thruout the past several years, & based on the interactions & burdency of having to keep a job no... View more

Hi, Im 24 & recieve a side income which i can live on with some frugality & minimalism, now i dont wanna metion what it is, however I did have many jobs thruout the past several years, & based on the interactions & burdency of having to keep a job nowadays & the toxicity youre forced to face on a daily basis just doesnt seems worth it & a waste of time, why can't we just do the things we enjoy without being judged or peer pressured to be like everybody else, oh you gotta get i high salary in order to be respected, you gotta be a doctor or a lieutenant for status purposes because if you dont society's gonna look down & sigh at you, the truth is i just dont care about any of that stuff i just wanna be me but for some reason when you live in a world full of dictatorship & gerontocracy its hopeless, when the majority can't stand the life they gotta live what else are they gonna do, our leaders dont give a dam, why would anybody wanna reproduce anyone to this fast paced dog eat dog atrophy reality. For example, rent & buying a home nowadays is out of the question, unless you wanna get approved for a loan which is gonna make you a slave to it eventually, utilities just keeps getting higher & higher where youre wages stay stagnant, if i were to tell my boss that im leaving under specific reasons they'll all of a sudden decide to give a raise, kinda cheeky is it, because corporations clearly dont give a dam about their employees no matter what they spew about how we're family, we're respectful to one another, we're a top establishment, everybodys happy to be here because a few personals said so yada yada yada. Then you got to put on a fake persona not because you want to but you have to, we're all forced into a realm that expects from us & to live up to the expectations created by plutocrats & oligarchs when deep down everybody's trying to not get fired & end up on the streets, i mean why else would they be doing what they're doing.I just wanna be me & thats all, I dont ask much, & I never needed to begin with, the only issue is if I continue with traditional employment for a long period of time, I can end up forfeiting that payment & might not get it back, if you were in this position like me with the pressure of joining with the traditional side of life with cons of being stressed out & unhappy all the time versus living freely by your own means even if im not getting much, but at peace & away from the drama that man kind had put upon themselves? Thanks

Pinned discussions

PTSD for Medical and First Responders

replies: 276

All discussions

Two years and still struggling

replies: 3