PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

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Sophie_M If you need to talk about Bondi Beach - Our community is here
  • replies: 8

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Aus... View more

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Australia and we extend our heartfelt condolences to the individuals and families affected by this tragedy. We wanted to create a space where you can share whatever you’re feeling - whether that’s fear, shock, grief, or anything else that has come up for you. If you need support from others in the community, please feel welcome to post here. Violence and acts of terror can bring feelings of shock, grief, profound sadness, anger and fear. It’s normal to experience these emotions while trying to make sense of distressing events. It may take time for these feelings to ease, but it’s never too early to seek support if you are feeling distressed. Beyond Blue is here for you anytime, by phone on 1300 224 636 or via webchat: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/talk-to-a-counsellor You can also support those around you by being available to them and listening. Thank you for being such an important part of this community, and for the kindness, honesty, and wisdom you continue to share with each other. We remind the community that Beyond Blue is here for all people in Australia, no matter what you believe, how you live or who you worship. Kind regards Sophie M

A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Guest_70646410 Greif & PTSD
  • replies: 1

A few days ago, I was informed that one of my cousins had committed suicide due to bullying, I wasn't super close with my cousin but this hit really close to home as I had attempted due to bullying. These past few days I've just been trying to distra... View more

A few days ago, I was informed that one of my cousins had committed suicide due to bullying, I wasn't super close with my cousin but this hit really close to home as I had attempted due to bullying. These past few days I've just been trying to distract, but come nighttime when it's time to sleep, everything comes rushing in. I have thoughts of it and see images in my head (the way she passed and the way I planned to). It's a weird feeling, I feel numb and sad and confused. It's hard because I know exactly how she felt. I haven't been sleeping well lately, getting less than 5 hours of sleep, waking up during the night, waking up early, which is unusual as I'm normally a heavy sleeper, once I'm asleep, I'm out like a lightbulb. I'm also feeling really confused with my feelings, I don't know how to explain it or how to cope.

Guest_15955900 Is it normal to struggle so much as a teen and does it get better?
  • replies: 2

I'm going to just get straight to the point. I don't want to trigger anyone, so I'll just summarise it with what my friend told me when I told her about my life: "It sounds like a princess story before the good stuff. Like Cinderella when she was wit... View more

I'm going to just get straight to the point. I don't want to trigger anyone, so I'll just summarise it with what my friend told me when I told her about my life: "It sounds like a princess story before the good stuff. Like Cinderella when she was with the evil stepmother, y'know?" Now my mum is sick, I've been rapidly declining in health (both physical and mental) and every time I tell people about it, they say it's just hormones or that it'll get better. Does it? I've tried everything I can think of. I've reached out, tried fixing it on my own, been as open as I can with others so that maybe they can help, and I even begged God for help every night for years, but nothing works... So does it get better??? We've been going through some financial issues, so that affects how much help I can get. Is it so bad to want that fantasy life that princesses have? I mean sure I know they're just stories, but if I look forward to having something similar (finding love or even just purpose in life), will I get better, or is it an unrealistic standard?

Guest_37342055 13 Years of Silence and Pain — Will It Ever Get Better?
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone,I don’t really know what I’m doing here, but I just needed to let this out. My emotions are all over the place.I grew up in a strict and lonely childhood where I rarely got what I asked for, so I stopped asking altogether. Maybe that’s wh... View more

Hi everyone,I don’t really know what I’m doing here, but I just needed to let this out. My emotions are all over the place.I grew up in a strict and lonely childhood where I rarely got what I asked for, so I stopped asking altogether. Maybe that’s why I feel so low now.About 13 years ago, I entered into an arranged marriage. Since then, I’ve been living with my in-laws, who were very controlling, manipulative, and cruel. I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere without a male companion and went through years of mental abuse. When I told my parents, their response was “it’s your destiny, adjust and compromise.” So I tried to do just that.But it feels like I haven’t truly lived. My marriage is loveless and sexless. My husband says he loves me, but in 13 years he’s never bought me a gift, a flower, or even noticed simple things like my favorite color. Sometimes I wonder if he’s gay, asexual, or just uninterested.I have a 7-year-old child who means the world to me, but I still cry almost every day. I feel like I’m in a cage, with my wings and legs tied. I’m not financially independent, and I don’t know how to get out of this.I guess I just want to ask: does it ever get better, or am I going to feel trapped like this forever?

Pyrolee Lost my job second time unexpected and deceived
  • replies: 1

I’ve recently lost my job for the second time during probation period, it was a job I was after and had no issues leading to my dismissal, the boss was friendly at the stage and came off as supportive, I’ve got two kids as well and he’s got two kids ... View more

I’ve recently lost my job for the second time during probation period, it was a job I was after and had no issues leading to my dismissal, the boss was friendly at the stage and came off as supportive, I’ve got two kids as well and he’s got two kids as well, seemed like everything was fine and on trackUnexpectedly he gave me the flick final day of my probation and asked to return everything and said it was a business decision. Now I’m unemployed with two loving kids and a wife in distress and feel like giving it all up, I can’t cause my kids need a father but everyday I feel like what’s the point, I’ve been lied to, everything in my life crushed and falling apart, nothings working out for me but it’s like this everyday, waking up and being like I’m in this same pickle everyday, get a job, get lied to, go out have a go, people put you down cause you’re of different ethnicity, it’s all getting too much, what do I do? I feel like I can’t talk and trust people anymore and feel sad and what’s the point, can’t catch a break

Guest_10266 Trauma, neglect - or?
  • replies: 1

When I was 5ish, my mum started dating a new guy. We moved in with him, but we as kids (2 girls <7) didn't move in as such, he had a bungalow out the back which was transformed into our 'bedroom'. Of a night, the back door was locked (deadbolt) we we... View more

When I was 5ish, my mum started dating a new guy. We moved in with him, but we as kids (2 girls <7) didn't move in as such, he had a bungalow out the back which was transformed into our 'bedroom'. Of a night, the back door was locked (deadbolt) we were only really allowed inside for meal times, (toilet/shower was put in in out-house laundry room) From age 8+ for myself I was expected to get myself to/from school, that was ok as it wasn't far away. Once I moved schools 9/10+, I then had to get public transport myself (to and from school) not only this, but we were reprimanded a lot from the bf. If we didn't do as told (ie water flowers before school, pick up dog poo, clean room etc) we were given PAGES, not just lines like they do in school, actual pages. 50+ if we did wrong (of lines), I barely had/allowed a social life... my father fought for quite a few years for better treatment of us, but ended up giving up (never came back and moved to Qld without a word) my mother allowed this treatment for 8+ years, 'she did her best'. We were left alone for a fair bit of time on continuous occassions. We would frequently be at a caravan park for 'holidays' a lot of the parents saw issues with this, with how we were treated. My mother only cares for social status, I have 3 kids and they have grown to learn that my mother only cares about what others thing, doesn't actually care for them as ppl (A lot more that I can't fit in to post occured) I'm now at the age of 39 and hubby is helping me see different. My mother and older sister see themselves as 'perfect' and don't do wrong. When I've in the past tried to approach the issue with my mum, I am met with 'sorry I was such a bad much' 'i did the best I could'. I don't know how to deal with/get over the trauma/issues I feel... I don't want to keep feeling broken.

punk rock warlord Overcoming Panic Disorder.
  • replies: 2

Been suffering with Panic attacks recently. Have suffered with them since I was a teenager. I have chosen to keep off the ale and certainly any drugs - why I thought they would help with my paranoia is beyond me. Anyway I spoke to my psychologist and... View more

Been suffering with Panic attacks recently. Have suffered with them since I was a teenager. I have chosen to keep off the ale and certainly any drugs - why I thought they would help with my paranoia is beyond me. Anyway I spoke to my psychologist and he reminded me that healing from trauma is not a destination it is a lifelong process. You exercise your brain as you would your body in a gym. I know there are quite a number of people on here continuing to suffer, so as an almost 60 year old here is my advice to those like me who feel trapped in mental pain. 1. Dont bottle it up inside - speak to someone about how you feel without guilt or embarrassment. 2. Take advantage of the multitude of resources out there on the internet. Loads of podcasts, websites and audiobooks that will help you develop strategies to overcome your demons. 3. KEEP OFF the ale or any drug that provides only short term relief. Self medicating will only worsen your situation. 4. Get to your doctor sharpish and tell him how you feel. Anti-depressants plus a referral to a psych might be what you need. 5. Try and maintain a healthy lifestyle - exercise and diet are crucial. Meditation is also a great tool to help combat depression and anxiety. 6. You are not alone. There are millions suffering from mental health problems and the number grows each year. Do not be fearful of any stigma attached to mental health.

MalkavianElder IVF has triggered PTSD from sex/medical trauma and is actively ruining my marriage
  • replies: 1

Hey everyone, thanks for letting me join. I don’t usually post about this stuff, but I’m really struggling and honestly feel hopeless right now.Trigger warning: trauma, sexual assault, suicidal thoughts. Please take care reading.I’m 33, autistic, and... View more

Hey everyone, thanks for letting me join. I don’t usually post about this stuff, but I’m really struggling and honestly feel hopeless right now.Trigger warning: trauma, sexual assault, suicidal thoughts. Please take care reading.I’m 33, autistic, and my wife and I are doing IVF (near the end of our first cycle). We’re both asexual due to trauma, so her GP referred us to a bulk-billing clinic since we can’t have intercourse. My wife is handling her trauma incredibly well despite all the pain and discomfort of IVF. It’s me who’s falling apart.I’m a survivor of childhood sexual assault and kidnapping. When I was 5, I saw my mum drugged and brutalised while we were held for 4 days. I’ve carried this my whole life. Even after years of therapy, it sits under the surface, and when I get triggered, I spiral for weeks. There’s also a smaller trauma from age 9, I woke briefly during surgery and fought the nurses. It left me with a huge aversion to anesthesia. In 2 weeks, my wife has her egg collection. It involves anesthesia and a really invasive procedure. I’ve been terrified for months. I’m constantly in fight-or-flight, unable to socialise or get anything done, just catastrophising nonstop. What’s making it worse is the clinic. We disclosed our traumas upfront. They acknowledged hers and offered accommodations, but mine felt ignored. One doctor told me I’d “be fine” since I’m not the one having the procedure. The next acknowledged my trauma but said my requests (staying with my wife until she’s under, and being told immediately when it’s over) “aren’t possible due to protocol”. No apology, nothing. We had mandatory counselling, and the psychologist agreed I’d been alienated. She put a note in our file asking for reasonable accommodations. My therapist backed this up too. But in our latest nurse consult, she said she saw the “critical note” but that protocol makes it “too disruptive to change on the day.” I just shut down and left the call. Now my dread is only getting worse. My wife’s sore and irritable from the meds and can’t keep dealing with my breakdowns. I feel like I’m ruining this for her, making it all about me, and being punished for something I never chose. IVF was supposed to help us work around my trauma, but instead, it’s retraumatising me. If I get through egg collection at all, I’m seriously thinking of just leaving my sample and ending my life so she can keep going without me ruining her dream.Thanks for reading.

LostIn_Darkness Given no support after open heart surgery
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Hello,Thank you for accepting me into the beyond blue support discussion. I have recently had open heart surgery. From the medical side I was not spoken to in detail from hospital staff about how the medical procedure would proceed. Also was not give... View more

Hello,Thank you for accepting me into the beyond blue support discussion. I have recently had open heart surgery. From the medical side I was not spoken to in detail from hospital staff about how the medical procedure would proceed. Also was not given any information that I could read and educate myself about the surgery and recovery. If I could turn back the clock to the day before surgery, I would. Why you may ask, so I could prepare myself for the trauma I was going to experience after the surgery in intensive care. And also for the start of recovery in coronary care. Completely left in the dark not knowing what to expect and how to proceed and process my long lonely road to recovery. Even to this day today, I have had no cardiac rehab and have definitely not had any support from the hospital/health system in regards to my physical/mental and emotional health. I am broken and can see ahead the darkness. I have an amazing support group of friends who contact and check in on me daily, sometimes multiple times a day. Forever and extremely greatful to them and I love them all so much. Their support is endless. I feel like a burden to them.Has anyone else had open heart surgery and willing to get in touch? Thank you for reading my post LostInDarkness

Mepetme01 Rapist admits to rape whilst I was passed out police don’t arrest
  • replies: 2

In France this discovery of being raped while asleep was taken seriously I reported rape the man admits it the police man lied said he distant array him because I said not to this is not true I didn’t say that I did say sympathetically as I’m traumat... View more

In France this discovery of being raped while asleep was taken seriously I reported rape the man admits it the police man lied said he distant array him because I said not to this is not true I didn’t say that I did say sympathetically as I’m traumatised I do not think he would be good in jailthis is a man without ailments who visited doctors daily getting muscle relaxants I believe he spiked my drinks with I feel so stupid not getting it then I a roll through the rapist many text abusing me for not finishing my drink who does that no one forces you to drink your drink the man told police drinks were dear it’s lite cascade beer it’s $5 not something to abuse a lady over the man brags about being wealthy and is The rapist sent me a pornography story where he murdered me police also don’t care about this also has suspicious deaths around him I am disgusted we live in a rape accepted society I would never have reported the rape of his thought nothing would be done this man moved to my town I lived here since 1997 and now I’m a prisoner of my home this old 70 year old out at the beach oooglung his next victim

Notanurse Reactive abuse to narcissistic abuse
  • replies: 3

Im in need of some advice when it comes to my ex's abuse towards me. He isnt diagnosed, but he shows clear signs of being narcissistic. And im not just saying that to be a "crazy ex". He has made my life spiral the last 16 months. Im a shell of who I... View more

Im in need of some advice when it comes to my ex's abuse towards me. He isnt diagnosed, but he shows clear signs of being narcissistic. And im not just saying that to be a "crazy ex". He has made my life spiral the last 16 months. Im a shell of who I used to be. I thought I was handling the situation by constantly trying to keep him in our sons life by any means possible and that ended up with me being arrested for contacting him too much about our son (harassment) and him having an ADVO put on me for that reason.. I should have reported the things he has done to me when they happened.. but I didn't because I have a massive fear of police. And I feel like if I put a historical report in now, that I'll just look like im a bitter ex wanting revenge, or that they wont believe me, or that they will laugh in my face, or that they will dismiss it, that I just wont be taken seriously. And then it makes me feel like its all in my head and maybe I am actually crazy, maybe everything he did was justified? That i bought it all on myself? I wont be able to put everything in here but a few of the things hes done include: - name calling - threats to hurt me, including very violent language and if I dont terminate our child then he will leave me, and more - flipping me off all the time - cutting me off, stonewalling, changing the subject if its something I feel is important to talk about, if I try to communicate with him - he would call me a baby, to drink a cup of concrete, im too sensitive - giving me the silent treatment - gaslighting and mind games - there was a point i was so distressed with what he was doing, I couldn't even work, I lost 9kg in the first trimester of pregnancy because of this - I now have nightmares several times per week - im now on different depression/anxiety meds because of it all - im paranoid that I'll see him or his car, that maybe he has someone following me, maybe hes told the police to follow me. Is it all in my head? Will I be laughed at if I go to the police with all this? Is this legitimately something i should be reporting? How do I do this? Are there any supports out there i can access(NSW)? Will those supports actually help me and believe me? I dont want another woman to go through this, I want him to be held accountable for his actions because he doesnt call it abuse, I want him to get help for his childhood trauma but he wont. And now I legally am not allowed to contact him for 2 years.. It feels like the narcissist has won..