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Sophie_M If you need to talk about Bondi Beach - Our community is here
  • replies: 8

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Aus... View more

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Australia and we extend our heartfelt condolences to the individuals and families affected by this tragedy. We wanted to create a space where you can share whatever you’re feeling - whether that’s fear, shock, grief, or anything else that has come up for you. If you need support from others in the community, please feel welcome to post here. Violence and acts of terror can bring feelings of shock, grief, profound sadness, anger and fear. It’s normal to experience these emotions while trying to make sense of distressing events. It may take time for these feelings to ease, but it’s never too early to seek support if you are feeling distressed. Beyond Blue is here for you anytime, by phone on 1300 224 636 or via webchat: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/talk-to-a-counsellor You can also support those around you by being available to them and listening. Thank you for being such an important part of this community, and for the kindness, honesty, and wisdom you continue to share with each other. We remind the community that Beyond Blue is here for all people in Australia, no matter what you believe, how you live or who you worship. Kind regards Sophie M

A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Tripletail Triggered by Supervisor at work..
  • replies: 3

It has been years...But recently a supervisor off night shift..Has returned to dayshift...I lasted 4 days with his behaviour. I'm a senior fifo construction worker, I know my stuff, I enjoy the detail and pressure. His return, or for myself new expos... View more

It has been years...But recently a supervisor off night shift..Has returned to dayshift...I lasted 4 days with his behaviour. I'm a senior fifo construction worker, I know my stuff, I enjoy the detail and pressure. His return, or for myself new exposure.I was warned He will throw you under the bus etc... So until these 4 days, I was happy loving my job.Since , I'm actually avoiding work, sending text messages drunk to my other supervisor.I am actually aware I have been triggered, but I Don't have total control.It's like an inner part of me is threatened, and yeah I'm doing the fight or flee response.Not happy..Don't want to quit job, Made a formal complaint, but that just triggered me more.. How do I navigate, the Hr stuff, whilst triggered as, supervisor has a history and knows exactly how to abuse or behave without actually invoking an obvious misuse of power or authority... It's been 8 yrs since I was last on here...This 1 has me rattled, like a narcissistic professional supervisor.... Any ideas?I'll quit my job, but why should I ?Not my Fault...??????

Lifeoverated215 Ratrace
  • replies: 3

Hi, Im 24 & recieve a side income which i can live on with some frugality & minimalism, now i dont wanna metion what it is, however I did have many jobs thruout the past several years, & based on the interactions & burdency of having to keep a job no... View more

Hi, Im 24 & recieve a side income which i can live on with some frugality & minimalism, now i dont wanna metion what it is, however I did have many jobs thruout the past several years, & based on the interactions & burdency of having to keep a job nowadays & the toxicity youre forced to face on a daily basis just doesnt seems worth it & a waste of time, why can't we just do the things we enjoy without being judged or peer pressured to be like everybody else, oh you gotta get i high salary in order to be respected, you gotta be a doctor or a lieutenant for status purposes because if you dont society's gonna look down & sigh at you, the truth is i just dont care about any of that stuff i just wanna be me but for some reason when you live in a world full of dictatorship & gerontocracy its hopeless, when the majority can't stand the life they gotta live what else are they gonna do, our leaders dont give a dam, why would anybody wanna reproduce anyone to this fast paced dog eat dog atrophy reality. For example, rent & buying a home nowadays is out of the question, unless you wanna get approved for a loan which is gonna make you a slave to it eventually, utilities just keeps getting higher & higher where youre wages stay stagnant, if i were to tell my boss that im leaving under specific reasons they'll all of a sudden decide to give a raise, kinda cheeky is it, because corporations clearly dont give a dam about their employees no matter what they spew about how we're family, we're respectful to one another, we're a top establishment, everybodys happy to be here because a few personals said so yada yada yada. Then you got to put on a fake persona not because you want to but you have to, we're all forced into a realm that expects from us & to live up to the expectations created by plutocrats & oligarchs when deep down everybody's trying to not get fired & end up on the streets, i mean why else would they be doing what they're doing.I just wanna be me & thats all, I dont ask much, & I never needed to begin with, the only issue is if I continue with traditional employment for a long period of time, I can end up forfeiting that payment & might not get it back, if you were in this position like me with the pressure of joining with the traditional side of life with cons of being stressed out & unhappy all the time versus living freely by your own means even if im not getting much, but at peace & away from the drama that man kind had put upon themselves? Thanks

Guest_86975161 Had to put a rescue dog to sleep, the procedure went wrong. It was brutal. I want to die myself
  • replies: 1

I am an Aussie currenlty overseas waiting on paperwork for rescue dogs who never found a home, to return to Australia with us. We have 11 dogs. Fifteen days ago, a large young dog, walked past our house in clear distress. He was a young dog, maybe a ... View more

I am an Aussie currenlty overseas waiting on paperwork for rescue dogs who never found a home, to return to Australia with us. We have 11 dogs. Fifteen days ago, a large young dog, walked past our house in clear distress. He was a young dog, maybe a year old. He was pure skin and bones. I took him to the vet and they put him on a drip 2 days in a row, and gave him a shot of vitamins and painkilers straight to through the vein. The vet found sound ticks and becaues the dog had this head movement, he categorised that as a neurological response to a tick infection. He put him on antibiotics for 21 days. On day 14 his head movement got worse. I took him to another vet, they said it was distemper and that because of his head movement and being so malnourished, he would be unlikely to survive. That night he had a terrible night, couldn't breathe, all night. I stayed with hiim but could not do anything. The next day was Saturday. He did not want to eat and collapsed in the cage I had him when he tried to get up to drink water. He tried to eat but his jaw was clentched and he could not eat. I called to find a vet to come home to put him to sleep, I did not want him to go through another night like that the night before. I am in a rural town. No support system. Just my husband and I but my husbad was away for work, our only income is his. The vet came and before I could ask him about what was involved inthe procedure, he stabbed the dog with a needle straight to his skin and injected him with dedatives. I panicked because the dog already had trouble breathign and that made it worse. The dog stared to feel desperate, so did I. I had no vehicle to take him to a clinic so this guy just put another anesthetic same way and then put two needles in his heart AND I COULD NOT STOP ANY OF THIS, I was paralised like an idiot and then this guy try to hug me. I cannot stop crying even now. This happned just over 24 hours ago and I can't stop myself screaming in pain, shame, regret., anger, disgussed towards myself. This was such a lovely beautiful young dog, he did not resist any of this THAT I PUT HIM THROUGH. I feel gutted and have thought of taking my own life becuase I cannot stop relieving every minute of it, especially seeing that when he saw this guy, he got up and wagged its tail, even in the condition he was in. I put this animal through all this. I dont understand what happened to me, why didnt I react? The moral pain is unbearable, I never thoughtt I would put an animal through somethign like that. It was my job to protect him and I DIDNT. I should be in jail for negligence. I dont know what to do to pay for this pain I caused him. I LOVED THIS DOG he deserved so much better from me. I am not looking for simpathy. I just want to scream everywhere what a piece of garbage I am as a human being. There is no excuse for my reaction to that guy. No excuse. I took the dog in to protect hiim and ended up causeing him more pain in his last moments. That is unbearable shame. Just unbearable. I feel like I am going insane. Why didnt I do anything why?!! OMG, why?!

prettylost1 Finally seeing the truth about my mum
  • replies: 6

For 30 years I believed something was severely wrong with me. I spent my life chasing my mum’s approval and love, pushing myself until I completely burned out. This year everything collapsed, and I realised that the reason I’ve been so miserable for ... View more

For 30 years I believed something was severely wrong with me. I spent my life chasing my mum’s approval and love, pushing myself until I completely burned out. This year everything collapsed, and I realised that the reason I’ve been so miserable for so long is because my mum has abused me for most of my life. She made me believe, in the cruellest ways, that I wasn’t worthy of love or of life at all.Whenever things got slightly tough for me, she would walk away from her role as a mum, sometimes even saying it out loud, showing no empathy, never checking in, and never apologising. Earlier this year things came to a breaking point for me, and honestly, I don’t understand how I couldn’t see this earlier?During a visit, which turned into an absolute nightmare, she became very aggressive and abusive toward me at the dinner table. Other people were there, and for no real reason, in my opinion, she started screaming at me the moment I sat down. Her reason was that I had held the map too long at a zoo we visited. There was only one map, but no one had asked for it, and I had even asked if anyone else wanted it. Her anger escalated so quickly, from the map to saying the cruellest things, that I was left in shock. When I started crying and shaking from fear, she seemed to get a thrill out of it. She even mocked me by imitating the sound of my crying...My husband stepped in to intervene, but she couldn’t understand that she had done anything wrong... the whole experience was a nightmare.The next day she deleted me from all social media, packed her things, and left, just like that. I thought I was going to die of a broken heart. That was the moment I finally saw the truth. This had happened before, many times. She has no empathy, no sense of responsibility, and truly sees me as the devil. She even told others in my family that I couldn’t be trusted, saying she had travelled so far to visit me and that this was how I treated her. She has never apologised or acknowledged the pain she caused and spent months sending me hate-filled messages, which I eventually stopped reading.Since then I have gone no contact for now and started therapy. I had to stop working for a while because I was barely sleeping, but therapy is helping a lot and I am finally sleeping again. I feel emotionally drained, exhausted, and lost. I’m trying to rediscover who I am, one small step at a time, but I’m heartbroken that my mum won’t apologise or even try to repair our relationship.It’s hard, especially since my dad passed away when I was young, and it often feels like I’m on my own. I do have a supportive husband, and I’m safe now. I was recently diagnosed with C-PTSD and am slowly finding my way back to myself.. Has anyone else been through something like this and would like to briefly share their story? I feel so alone in this sometimes. People mean well, but unless they have experienced it, they just don’t seem to understand. My husband has seen her behaviour first-hand, so he understands some of it, but it is still hard for others to truly relate.

Celestial1111 LONELY
  • replies: 3

HiI've recently let go of my toxic friends & now I have no friends.But I couldn't keep people in my life who didn't listen to me or dismissed me or really didn't give a crap.Thats exactly how I got treated growing up.And with my family I only have a ... View more

HiI've recently let go of my toxic friends & now I have no friends.But I couldn't keep people in my life who didn't listen to me or dismissed me or really didn't give a crap.Thats exactly how I got treated growing up.And with my family I only have a superficial relationship with them because they tear u down if u open up & r honest & vulnerable.Im learning to have boundaries with people or just letting them go if they dont care about me.It's hard because I feel lonely & isolated but I remind myself that I dont want to keep feeling devalued or unworthy by having unhealthy connections.I also remind myself that if I keep to myself healing path I will attract loving supportive caring people in my life.I know I will have hard days but its harder to stay in places that u r not welcomed which has been all my life.I want to shift the paradigm because it wasn't my fault I was made to feel unlovable & not enough Children r born lovable & good enough but trauma reprograms them to feel otherwise so hence why im working to reprogram those distorted messages & love myself.

Picture Trauma event and coping
  • replies: 4

Hi all I have been involved in a very sad traumatic event (I won’t go into details online). It has left me reliving the incident over and over and thinking about the things I wish I had done. I have also had some flashbacks. Very overwhelming and cru... View more

Hi all I have been involved in a very sad traumatic event (I won’t go into details online). It has left me reliving the incident over and over and thinking about the things I wish I had done. I have also had some flashbacks. Very overwhelming and crushing. Now I am starting to feel numb like a zombie. I have found calling crisis lines and seeing a psychologist during the week helpful. I can’t see through it at the moment and feel like I will never be myself again. I have medication to help with sleep but it doesn’t get me through the night. I need to at least partially function for my family. I feel so detached from reality. My faith has helped. I have tried to get an early appointment this week with my psychologist to help. Not really sure why I am posting, but I think just to see if anyone else has gone through a traumatic event and how they are coping.

Mrd74 Endless cycle
  • replies: 3

Hi, it's hard to move on when your mind never lets go of dates and times that had traumatic events involved. I have worked hard to recover only to have those efforts undermined by my own subconscious. I suffer from cptsd and psychosis and have receiv... View more

Hi, it's hard to move on when your mind never lets go of dates and times that had traumatic events involved. I have worked hard to recover only to have those efforts undermined by my own subconscious. I suffer from cptsd and psychosis and have received treatment from everything from meds, meditation, mindfulness and CBT to ECT & TMS and I still can't regulate my emotions of mental stability when a significant anniversary arrives like my involvement in Iraq or being molested, the death of my parents or the narcissistic abuse, my mind just can't let go, I had just started to recover from my latest stress induced psychosis and all the shame and embarrassment that comes with being crazy in public or being put under the mental health act only to self sabotage myself with vivid dreams, depression and anxiety. And so the cycle continues

Guest_50774048 Christian Porn Addict
  • replies: 2

I’m a 28 yr old Christian male with a huge porn addiction. I love porn so much I tend to watch porn for hours and even can’t sleep. Need help.

I’m a 28 yr old Christian male with a huge porn addiction. I love porn so much I tend to watch porn for hours and even can’t sleep. Need help.

Isabelle Hereditary Hemorrhagic Telangiectasia
  • replies: 1

Hi all, I am a teenager in australia and have been going through a disorder called Hereditary Hemorrhagic Telangiectasia, or hht, which is when you bleed internally, and I have it in my stomach. Some of you may be wondering why this is under trauma, ... View more

Hi all, I am a teenager in australia and have been going through a disorder called Hereditary Hemorrhagic Telangiectasia, or hht, which is when you bleed internally, and I have it in my stomach. Some of you may be wondering why this is under trauma, well since I was 12 months old I have been thru MRI's, blood tests, needles, anaesthetic, blood infusions, one colonoscopy, one surgery and a treatment that started early 2025. Because of this, I haven't been able to live a normal life, or I have managed to pretend long enough until know. Recently I have found out I need another colonoscopy sometime in 2026, and along with that I may need to restart the treatment, which terrifies me. To put this simply, I would rather die than do that ever again. I know it's for my health, and I can't control it, but it sucks and has made me unable to live a normal teen life with the mental issues this has caused me. I can no longer think of sleep as normal, I can no longer look at needles without thinking of blood, I can no longer talk about surgeries normally. This has damaged me in more ways than possible, and I hope that you all can support me.

BeTTerDaYsCome I crave the innocence of my innerchild
  • replies: 3

I've been waking up in sweat lately, I find myself crying over the past as if it would change the outcome of today. I mourn for my innocence, I yearn for my childhood & desire peace in lonliness. I look at my family and a sea of nothingness washes ov... View more

I've been waking up in sweat lately, I find myself crying over the past as if it would change the outcome of today. I mourn for my innocence, I yearn for my childhood & desire peace in lonliness. I look at my family and a sea of nothingness washes over. I HAVE 0 Love left in me. Cutting ties and connections have felt like the equivalent of having open wounds then squeezing lemon juice on top to bring instant and quick relief from pain that didn't have to be there to begin with, however I have no ability to release this emotion in a healthier way because of that patterns that came embedded in me its all i know.STAY quiet.Dont Complain.Its In the PAST.WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT ITNOW? Your still not over it?I Called my dad when my brother inlaw forced himself on me. I cried a pool of tears as I trembled and voiced my fears. "DAD, I left in such a rush because I was so scared, I forgot to take my keys can I come stay with you? What if he comes here?". .. I was met with a response that only tore my already broken pieces into crumbs. "well! Who told you to go there? That's what happens when you don't stay put!. You'll be fine". I gripped that phone as if I had dug my hands into my chest and were pumping my own heart physically. I called my mum and her first response? " Why would you call your dad? Now he's gonna think less off me? He doesn't deserve to know our family buisness. This is so embarassing". I Apologiesed to my mother... for not being considerate enough. My sister; She chose to stay with that vile creature. She went on to justify that he had been heavily intoxicated. INTOXICATION DOES NOT EQUATE TO RAPE. Yet sure... let's blame the alcohol. In light of all of that. My family still chose to put a blanket over these disgusting acts, tuck it in and proceed with the facade of "Happy family". It's ironic really, people know us for being a 'big happy family' yet my fear of touching people STEMS from Those very seeds known as "Family". First it was my uncle - My mum called me a liar; My grandfather. - I was labelled 'young a naieve" My older sister - She claimed I was insane - My brother - No one believed me & now my brother in law. putrid ! I hate my skin, I hate that when I sleep I need to barricade my door despite living alone. I scrub my skin till I am red because the thought that there is a trace of their skin that lingers on mine, repulses me. ?The ONE other sister I confided in, used me as a pawn in her attempt to reconnect with her ex husband as she belittled me. " WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO, Your such a winer,WHY ARE YOU SCARED? Your so DRAMATIC".she said all of this in the car as I begged her to take me home running out of My older sisters house 2am in the morning barefoot abandoning everything i had arrived to her house with. I couldn't collect my thoughts fast enough I just cried. After she dropped me off to my house claiming she couldn't let me stay at hers because of a house guest I cried and stayed hidden in my wardrobe... the next day I've awoken to angry texts and calls & that same sister who claimed I had nothing to worry about is now saying"I texted [exhusband] let him know what happened because who else am I meant to call to protect us?".

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