When buttons get pushed

[Speak Your Truth]

Can anyone help ? My buttons have been pushed to the point of bringing on severe anxiety. Does anyone think this is curable ? I am desperate to feel relaxed and at peace again and to be able to enjoy my life. I don’t know how to cope

[Birdy77]

Hey SYT 🌞

Just checking in with you to see how you are doing?

No pressure for a big reply, just letting you know you are being thought of and cared about.

Hope you are being gentle on yourself, and doing something today that makes you feel happy or good inside.

Aalways happy to chat to you if you need a friend.

Take care SYT,

🌻birdy

[Speak Your Truth]

Hi Birdy. Thanks for getting back to me. Yes I’m ok. How are you ? You haven’t been telling me about how you are after your chookie friend left. Are you more settled yet ? Would you prefer not to talk about that ?

its cold, overcast & has been raining today - another one of your blankie days.Thank you for all your ideas for getting out & about, writing letters not to be posted, exercise etc. They are all good & I am doing or working towards doing things I can.

i might have said this before but I think it was late last week I was so overwhelmingly tired I ended up sleeping a lot of the day & the night as well so not much time left over for anything. But this weekend just gone was actually quite good on Saturday & yesterday I almost felt normal. Last night though I slept really badly because of something I ate & seemed to be half awake for a very long time trying to sleep & today has been difficult again. So I am up & down all the time.

i read that with anxiety/depression it’s best not to fight it - just accept it etc until it passes. But how will I ever get thru this like that ? Although I’ve had bouts of depression/anxiety before it hasn’t been like this, I didn’t take so long to get thru it. It’s a few months ago now but I was on fire with energy, enthusiasm, being happy etc & I am not that person now.

i am scared that person wont come back Birdy. Because I live alone I have too much time to think & worry unfortunately & i do know that overthinking & worry does no good but it’s hard not to.

Like many other people on B.B. your posts are so positive, helpful, supportive, constructive it’s hard to understand that you are dealing with anxiety/depression too. How do you do it ? I’d like to be able to

Thank you again Birdy. If you’d like to I would like to know some more about you and your story.
sending you hugs 🤗🤗🤗 and I’ve made you a cuppa ☕️ too. Thanks for listening and being here. ❤️

[Birdy77]

Hey SYT🌞

It's great to hear that you had some good days and felt almost normal!! Wow I haven't felt normal for ages 😂 must have been great! I'm being jokey, but I don't mean to make light of your darker feelings at all. Sometimes a bit of lightheartedness helps a bit, if we don't laugh ...

Sorry to hear you were down again yesterday, lack of sleep can really do a number on our moods and mental wellbeing. I hope you had a better sleep last night, and I wonder how you are feeling today? It's a beautiful autumn day here, crisp and sunny, so I'm hoping to make good use of it in the garden and will go for a walk later at the beach. How about you? What will you do today to bring you a sense of wellness?

I am ok SYT, I miss my little feathered friend very much, but I know that now she is free from that body that brought her suffering and she is freeranging wherever her precious spirit desires now, and I like to think she spends time with me still. I think of her a lot, and it's strange not to her here, I sense her in the vegetable patch especially, so maybe she is with me still. I have other chooks to love, but she was our fave, esp as she was sick and needed extra love.

You didn't tell me about the movie! And do you have a garden? I think my garden has saved me a couple of times in my life, truly. It brings me a sense of connection with life.

You said you were worried that you've lost the person you were before, but I don't think so. I think she's in there, she's just in retreat at the moment while you get through this darkness. She's having a rest and she'll be back firing on all cylinders when the time is right. You've mentioned your Dr before, and medication, is this for supporting your anxiety and depression , if so do you think it needs tweaking? Talking can really help too, to move us through the dark times into the light quicker ... do you have someone to talk to, a counsellor? If you're worried about where you're at and how long you've felt that way, it would be good to maybe adjust your supports.

There is a great thread by Doolhoff called "Depression: fight it or embrace it ".... you might get some ideas there, and join in the convo. You can read from the beginning. Some days I feel like I fight it and some days I embrace it, I think really it's probably best to embrace and accept this is part of my life right now, but I can move forward with it and do my best to make each day count.

I've run out of characters. Talk soon.

🌻birdy

[Speak Your Truth]

Birdy are you still there ?

[Birdy77]

Hello SYT 🌞

How are you feeling today? Anything you feel like chatting about? I'm about to go do a few things, but I'll check in again to see how you are? I'm just pottering about today. What about you?

[Speak Your Truth]

If you can give me a bit of time that would be so good and I’d appreciate it Birdy

[Birdy77]

Sure, what's on your mind SYT?

I'll be listening 😊

[Speak Your Truth]

Birdy I feel uncomfortable asking for advice from you or anyone on B.B. really since everyone has problems, some so much bigger than mine. But my need today is so strong I am quite unable to deal with it

yesterday I got an email from my only cousin and his partner I had reached out to for support a few years ago when I was having a difficult time. Their response at that time always felt to me as if they gave what they did more out of obligation or because they didn’t really want to but did because they felt under pressure. Same thing I guess.

I don’t know if they have a real understanding of depression/anxiety. They live far from me. I have visited them but apart from one time there was no talking about my issues and they always kept their distance physically - ie. apart from an initial quick greeting hug, no other hugs or verbal comfort offered - and their approach has always been to be cheery, make jokes, be light hearted etc. my cousin seems to take a hard-lined approach. It has always seemed they dont want to get too involved. But maybe it’s a poor communication issue on both sides - I don’t know or understand.

I had texted them twice this year saying I was really low etc and got no response at all, then I n their email yesterday they said “hope things have improved for you since your last text” and & that they want to come & visit me soon. I can’t have them come & visit & put on a mask & pretend everything is ok when my heart is breaking with loneliness, needing a big caring hug, needing understanding, support, comfort

i don’t know what to do or how to handle it Birdy. I have a very tight knot in my chest and I don’t feel at all good

I don’t want you to feel pressured but can you say anything ?

[Birdy77]

I hear you SYT ...

I can really empathise with that feeling of not being truly understood, or heard. It sounds like they maybe don't have an understanding of depression or anxiety, and perhaps don't know what to say, or how to respond.

Are the feelings that you are having mostly about them wanting to visit? Like, do you not want them to visit because you feel you can't be real and that they don't "get it"? Do you feel resentful towards them for their lack of contact even after you told them how bad you've been feeling?

Are you able to name some of the feelings around it, and talk a bit more about it?

Anger? Resentment? Sadness? Frustration?

I am just wondering if you can try to nut your feelings out a little further we can come up with some ideas. Only if you would like to of course.

It may be that you will not be able to get what you want from this cousin and partner, and that comfort and understanding you so strongly desire will need to be sought elsewhere ... but if you can nut it out a bit further it might help release that knot in your chest, and unravel the feelings so you can heal something that might be hidden underneath.

🌻birdy

[Speak Your Truth]

Thanks so much Birdy. I do feel sadness, huge disappointment and despair. But not anger or resentment. Needless to say the connection between us is complicated like the rest of my family has always been. Their family is complicated too - his mother (my aunt) their adult children etc.

i will have to think about the rest - nutting it out further etc. But how to reply to the email is a huge biggie

more later Birdy .... 😘