UPDATED: Dealing with my partner's anxiety. Just want to talk

[Belthizor]

Hi all, I'm new here, my name is Sheldon and basically I just want to talk to others about how to deal with my partner's anxiety. For the past couple of months, she has been having anxiety-related issues, but only very recently have these issues intensified. In the past two days we have been to the ED twice, Seen the Doctor twice and been to see her psychologist. The attacks are getting worse, and I am really worried for her. She has even been having suicidal thoughts. This of course worries me even more, but I feel that I have to stay strong for her sake. I love her very dearly and it just breaks my heart to see her so upset. She's crying, has involuntary hand movements, feeling nauseous and has even physically thrown up. She has recently been prescribed a benzodiazaprene and tomorrow we will be going to the doctors to review her current anti-depressant medication. I love her with all my heart and I don't ever want to lose her. While we are doing everything we can to address these issues, it's still hard - especially for me, and I would love someone to talk to who has been through this, or even just someone willing to bend an ear but not judge. This girl is my whole world and without her... I don't know what I'd do.

 Thanks for listening, I know I rambled on a bit, but I do that.

[Graceeeeee]

Hey Sheldon! 🙂

Good evening to you! Don't worry, sounds like your partner was still able to overcome the anxiety attacks and that's a very good news. I definitely hope she will get through seeing the psychiatrist ok tomorrow, I think the psychiatrist will be really helpful, again, you both are such inspirational people, keep being just the way you are!!

And hats off to your for having Asberger's and staying so strong, what a beautiful person you are!

Also, I'm glad you want more recommendations for the apps, I have a few recommendations (you can search them all on Google and a website will come up)--Mentalstillness, Smileymind, Beyondblue--Mindfulness (this you can find here on the website, it's directions for practicing mindfulness, I haven't checked but give it a go!), Headspace--Mindfulness (I'm guessing it should be the same deal with the BeyondBlue one), all these are websites (with possible app versions) to help you practice mindfulness (it's like meditation, you are right :)), and if you want more just look around here on BeyondBlue, or search on Google, I'm sure plenty options will come up!! Good luck with this!! Tell me how it all goes, and yes definitely tell us how tomorrow goes too 🙂 My love and thoughts will be with you, have a smooth evening! 😉

With Love,

Grace xx

[Belthizor]

Hi all,

The visit to the psychologist went well (she sees the psychiatrist on the 15th March). She did get a bit annoyed though as my Gf is soon to become a carer for her mum. This is a good thing as this is something she wants (as it takes a lot of pressure from Centrelink off her). But her psychologist thought that she was using this as an excuse not to face/deal with her anxiety and panic attacks. So that was a bit of a down point.

I was also a bit annoyed, but for a different reason - for the past week I've been trying to keep a record of what's been happening (symptoms, responses, etc) and so far, no one has looked at it. I dunno, maybe it's just me, but I've kept these records and would have liked a professional to read over them.

My Gf tells me she started to get a bit anxious last night but was able to overcome it, so this was excellent news.

Anyway that's all from me for now. I'll write later with an update.

Ciao for now

[blondguy]

Hi Sheldon

Ta for your replies..I agree that you could show your log to a counsellor to assist. Good idea. I like what you said about 'it takes time' and yes it does...The anxiety will decrease in intensity over time..Your GF's panic attacks are still 'bad thoughts that are actually a physical issue because the brain secretes hormones..adrenaline which starts the bad feelings.

Only just my opinion on meds Sheldon but they can provide a more stable foundation to aid your gf's recovery. The myth of benzo's being something bad I find counter-productive.

My female GP told me years ago...(when I refused  to take AD's and benzo's)...." so Paul...do I tell all my patients with diabetes and high blood pressure...infections not to take their meds anymore?"

This was me 'being told' by an excellent GP that my anxiety was a physical problem and required the meds. I reluctantly started them....The good new Sheldon was the anti-depressant she gave me initially for my anxiety only took 4 days (usually 2-3 weeks) and 90% of my anxiety attacks stopped..with a weekly visit to my GP and learning new coping mechanisms it was wonderful.

Just a handy note (that works for some sufferers)...;

* Avoid 'fighting' anxiety...it only feeds it..

* Calm acceptance that the anxiety attacks are still just feelings...(with practise this works)

* Treat anxiety like a cloud...float past it...not fight..It lightens the load..

I do hope your wonderful GF can be 'Kind to herself' by not paying too much attention to these 'feelings' Float

Kindest Thoughts Sheldon

Paul

[Belthizor]

Hi Paul,

That's what the visit to the psychiatrist is for - to review her anti-depressants and see if she can go on a better one that doesn't have a washout period. I couldn't imagine my gf going 5-6 weeks without her anti-depressants. (The one she's on now has a very long half-life, apparently).

As for the benzoes, we were only told that taking them too regularly could have some very negative effects. She only takes them if she absolutely feels she needs them as they have a tendency to knock her out for a few hours. One of the better side effects of some meds.

I find that I am getting more and more exhausted and even, dare I say, frustrated with each passing day. I can only imagine what it's like dealing with these issues personally is like, but for someone dealing with them from an outsider perspective, they can be very tiring indeed. I am staying strong, but it's just some days are easier than others and in the end it's all very tiring...

[Graceeeeee]

Hey dear Sheldon!

It's good that you've been to the psychologist, and I think it's such a wonderful thing for you to keep a record of all that, it is very important information indeed, and yes definitely let a professional have a look at that 😛 You are inspirational! Always there for your girlfriend, and hey don't worry, we all get a little annoyed when people tell us what to do haha, it's very good news that she got over her anxiety last night!! And it's truly wonderful that she's sharing all these information with you and you are getting through this together 🙂

And yes, it take time, but you are so strong, and I know in my heart that it will all get much much better in time, better than you can imagine for now 🙂

Take care of yourself! And hope your partner is doing well too!! So much love to both of you, keep us updated!!

With Love, ❤️

Grace xx

[Belthizor]

Hi Grace,

It's not that I don't want a professional to take a look at them, it's more that the professionals won't look at it. I told the Mental Health people at the hospital and my gf's psychologist about them, but neither has really shown any inclination to look at it.

Today my gf reported that she hadn't felt any anxiety at all, although that could be because it had been replaced with annoyance/anger directed at me (unrelated issue. Call it, a lover's tiff and I won't go into detail about it.) So, yay for no anxiety!

Tomorrow she is contemplating going to a swimming class with her best friend and her best friend's 4 month old (in case you haven't guessed, the class is for the 4 month old, lol), so if she does go, that'll be a good thing for her! She (my gf) has also applied for some volunteer work down at our local animal shelter. She expressed to me that she was a bit worried about possible anxiety/panic flare ups occurring like the last two times, but remains confident that she has the tools to overcome them if she does. Here's hoping she does!

Anyway, that's the latest updated from me, I'm gonna go back to laying on the bed and hoping my legs stop aching, lol.

Ciao for now!

[blondguy]

Hi Sheldon

You are doing everything you can....and doing it very well. At the end of the day it is very exhausting...I understand you (and you partners mum) are doing everything you can..

I do hope you and your legs are feeling better soon Sheldon

Thankyou for helping others just by being on this forum 🙂

Kind Thoughts

Paul

[Graceeeeee]

Hey dear Sheldon!! XP

Sorry to hear about the love's tiff, but hey it's good there was no anxiety today hey! And the psychologists probably think it's better to work it out with some other way, but I still think keeping a record is a very good idea, because then when she improves you can look back and see what a progress she's made, or maybe you can mind a pattern in her anxiety attacks, the record can be so useful for many many reasons, so you are really smart for having that idea 🙂 

And it's good to hear that she is confident to cope with anxious situations now XP Hope the swimming goes well for them haha 😛

Keep being the kid soul you are, and keep updated, what you are doing is amazing!! My love and thoughts are with you both 🙂 Hope you legs get better 😄

With Love,

Grace xx

[blondguy]

Hi Sheldon

Just seeing how the carer (you) are going and your partner of course

I was stuck in traffic and was thinking about the extensive notes/records you have been keeping. Has anyone responded as yet and taken up your offer of help with this information?

I hope they do Sheldon...The more background into your partners health the better

Kind wishes to you and your partner

Paul

[Belthizor]

Hi guys,

My apologies for the delayed response, but I've been pretty busy (and it's been a relatively uneventful week... until now).

My Gf didn't end up going to the swimming session with her best friend, but I think that was less to do with her anxiety and more to do with her been tired.

Tomorrow she is due to start volunteer work at the local animal shelter and that's when the anxiety kicked in. It started with her feeling nervous about tomorrow but that's where all the knowledge of what was causing it went. I brought in her mum and we were able to help talk her through it... sort of. We tried the 5,4 3,2,1 technique (5 things she can see, 4 - hear, 3 - touch, 2 - smell, 1 big, deep breath) but that didn't work. We ended up coming up with a plan for tomorrow - her mum & I take her there, her mum explains to the people what's going on and then we take off and she can call us if she wants to be picked up & taken home. This seemed to calm and comfort her a bit. 

After that we went and had a shower we talked a bit and now we're resting before bed. She has said that she thinks she'll be alright if she's often told that she has overcome it before. 

I don't if this will sound weird, but I feel as if I'm kinda walking on eggshells sometimes, you know? Like, I don't initiate talk about the anxiety for fear of bringing on an "attack".

Anyway, that's all from me for now. Hope all is well and I appreciate any and all hints and tips that you might have.

Cheers,

Sheldon