This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[velvetfaerie]

Airies..... hugs and condolences my online friend.

[wail]

I'm gettin bugged driving up and down the same old strip

I gotta find a new place where the kids are hip

My buddies and me are getting real well known

Yeah, the bad guys know us and they leave us alone.

Condolences to Aries, Hugs to Velvet home alone and Quirky I am taking the stairs!

I do like a moderate high, August is the month my partner gets SAD's. So he is low and I am covering for him in my usual mixed state. My Dad had bipolar he was an aggressive man and it helped me to develop fearlessness. I am ok with my bipolar and I wish all the people with bipolar peace. Luv Minnie

[Airies]

Velvet, thankyou I’m ok. Keep on chipping away in obtaining a pooch. There’s one meant for you. I was under the impression the pounds were full because of the novelty ebbing and flowing during lockdown and not .once again thankyou

[velvetfaerie]

I think fostering for now is ideal albeit bitter-sweet. I can help many. I can utilise my knowledge and experience helping them with any issues. I can have a break as needed as well.

This pooch is now living in luxury in a wealthy suburb in Perth. Was picked up in a luxury vehicle, which she promptly jumped up and on scratched.

The couple are lovely and are spoiling her rotten. I've had updates from them and my coordinator. Still leaves a hole in my heart though. I am identifying how much 20 years professionally in animal welfare has affected me. The first step is to recognise it.

Rescues are being flooded with covid dogs which were bred in backyards to take advantage of people's emotions to male a quick buck. Now whe folks are going back to the office with no slow transition. The dogs flip out with separation anxiety and it's all too hard. People are stupid.

Wail. The Beach Boys rock.

I am going to go to yoga. Find grounding. Get the muscles bending.

Hugs to all

[asdff]

Hello, I will post about myself and then read and reply to all. I’m okay. I must be out of the black hole as I can function again. Do others find it bizarre that others don’t do a simple online search when we say we have bipolar 1/2? I do. I guess I am curious and empathetic creature, so I want to know what is happening when someone says they have cancer or M.S. or anything. My Mum thinks people live in their own bubble. I’m not just asking about people we know, I’m speaking about family.

[asdff]

Airies:( 😞 so sorry for the loss of your Step Dad that sucks big time. I’ve had both of my vaccines.

Velvet, Sorry the doggie has gone to another home. I was smiling on the inside about doggie scratching luxury vehicle. He he.

My Mum bought me a teddy bear. A brand from my childhood. I love it. Why is it the older I get, the more my childhood comforts, comfort me. I guess I’ve still got that lost little girl inside that is wanting to be loved. My next question; how do you self soothe? Me, essential oils and smelly things. Husband hates them. Ha ha. I like being cosy with a good book. Also comedies on tv/ streaming service.

[Airies]

Asdff, Thank you it’s a shocking disease and will be relieved when normality returns. With regards to self soothing a walk, the suns rays , in touch with nature, gardening are all things I enjoy. The familiar smell of my bed, my wife’s pjs helps me relax. It’s my wife’s birthday tomorrow but rumours abound with a lockdown pending sooner rather then later. If that’s the case it’s her second in lockdown. She’s having a laugh about it and has a positive spin on most things unlike me .

[quirkywords]

Aries, so sorry for the loss of your stepdad.

Velvet, sorry you are missing your dog but funny how it scratched the car.

Asdff I used to have a collection of old teddy bears. After the fires the first I was given by a charity was a small teddy. I believe in the comfort of soft toys.

[asdff]

Thank you for the suggestions re self soothing. Airies sometimes we surprise ourselves. Quirky do you want more teddies in your collection?

[quirkywords]

I collect puppets now Asdff for my grandchildren well that’s my excuse.

I don’t have the same need for teddy bears but I do like soft feel of bears.