This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[velvetfaerie]

The doggo thing is me putting doggo needs and welfare above my own needs. I hate ego in animal welfare.

I'm an imposter to this group hehe.

Might go see if there are any adhd groups.... 🧐

[wail]

All the leaves are brown

And the sky is grey

I've been for a walk

On a winters day

Thankyou for your chosen profession to Velvet, Hi to Aries:), Comfort to Asdff and Well wishes to Quirky.

All pets deserve good owners and if not, I am so glad for the animal welfare system. I admire people who can pick up the pieces and make things better.

Asdff, it is nice that you research other peoples conditions, you are thoughtful and I like your Mums bubble point! Soothing for me is sleeping and the moments just before I fall asleep, a restful delirium. Cheers Minnie

[velvetfaerie]

Mamma's and pappas rock too.

[Airies]

Velvet, you are not an imposter here. I was diagnosed adhd back in 90s , survived on a few meds . My bipolar diagnosis and a few others 5 years ago. More meds . It’s just a tag. A heavy cross to bare . I’m not that religious but have started wearing my gold cross again. I’d like to think there’s something nice up there.

went out to a chocolatier for wife’s birthday. Over indulged , advised snap lockdown looming a few hours later. At least it was half a good day. Driving home I have never ever seen traffic like that. A relief to get home.

[velvetfaerie]

It's strange because I've had symptoms all my life. No one recognised it in recent times. It's a hard one. The neuroscience behind it is fascinating.

My family and friends who I've told "well that makes a lot of sense!". No one is shocked at all.

Nothing wrong with a little faith in something to help through difficult times. If it brings comfort it's a good thing.

Science deniers annoy me. Broad statement based on the amount of things I've heard and read about many things. Covid for example. Believe what you want but do NOT force your beliefs down my throat. Go away and wear your tinfoil hat and just wait until you won't be able to exercise your freedoms at all due to ignorant choices.

Maybe I'm Hangry.... heheheh

[quirkywords]

Velvet

you are most welcome not an imposter. You have given me an insight I may have adhd in some form as well.
Airies, I like the word tag instead of label.

wail the moments before you sleep glad they are soothing.

[wail]

Time is on my side, yes it is

Time is on my side, yes it is

Now your always say

That you want to be free...

Good music knowledge to Velvet, Best husband to Aries, Question to Quirky; are they hand puppets you have?

Hope is a beautiful thing and it helps a lot of people to stay on track. I hope that my husband comes through his SADs depression soon because I miss him. Cheers M

[velvetfaerie]

Rolling stones rock too. I was raised on these bands lol.

The world needs hope now more than ever.

[quirkywords]

A friend of mine claims to be the person who took the beach boys in late 1960s to their first English Pub. He was working as cadet with a local English paper.

velvet I was raised on the monkeys and Simon andGarfunkel .

wail yes hand and finger puppets.

[asdff]

I am curious if anyone has seen this show? We just watched part of a series on Amazon Prime called Modern Love. Each episode has a different love story, this one had Anne Hathaway in it. Portraying a bipolar person. Oh my goodness, so accurate. I was crying watching it. I was identifying with the depression, sleeping in the bed, wearing comfy clothes, crying on the bathroom floor. Episodes are 30 minutes. Anne Hathaway tells a woman she has Bipolar and the woman says "you are the most fun I've ever been around".