This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[quirkywords]

Velvet,

Luckily not all women are like that. I had to sign a form with my lawyer saying I wouldn't come back later and wnat more settlement as she felt i was asking too little.

Would you be able to be a consultant and be your own boss. You obviously are very skilled and have good people skills. Being your own boss is the best.

Aries I like floating , very relaxing. Even when Lived near the coast I rarely went swimming.

[velvetfaerie]

Thats 100% true. This kind of behaviour isn't gender specific. I have seen both sides pull the same BS. Man wanted fair, she didn't. She felt entitled to everything. She has also alienated their nana. She plays the victim but isn't. AT ALL. Sad thing is all of this is having a detrimental affect on the mental health of the kids. They both have anxiety and depression. Never mind what the adults are enduring !

😞

[quirkywords]

Velevet

I wish you could find some peaceful uncomplicated time in your hectic life, Work, home it makes me tired reading about what you have to put up with.

That is so sad for the children.

[velvetfaerie]

I am on the couch. I had a beer.
I will make pizza. I like vege pizza.

This is chill.

This is good.

[quirkywords]

Velvet

save some veggie pizza for me

[Airies]

Velvet, a slice for me to wash down half a pack of mint biscuits. I set some light dumbbells in the garage. .Going to try 3 workouts a day on occasion. Walk, ride and then some light stuff. We don’t do things by half. Not looking forward to my weigh in. Eating too much., I can’t help this emotional eating

[asdff]

The children are doing swimming lessons. I would love to be in the pool, I find swimming relaxing.

Velvet, one of those mothers. I know of one of those from our generation. The dad would pay for the kids upkeep and wellbeing. The mother bought shares with the money. She found herself a new partner and said the dad wasn’t paying for the kids, so he paid for them. This mother is very selfish. Self centred and I want to say a few rude words.

[quirkywords]

Aries
long before my diagnosis my mum said there was a happy medium but I was all or nothing.

I have been watching exercise programs for beginners on YouTube but most are young skinny people in Lycra. I found one that has more curvy people even if they are in back ground no Lycra!,

Asdff why don’t you go in the pool while they have lessons or isn’t that possible. ?

[asdff]

Not possible, it’s a school pool. Not a recreation centre.

[quirkywords]

Asdff

i thought schools were closed during holidays.