This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone

I can't believe it is end of June already.

Has any one plans for the next 6 months? I keep thinking where the first half of 2018 go?

Do you know? Did you see who stole it?

Velvet has a question if you scroll back?

Quirky

[velvetfaerie]

Hi guys. Thank you for your excellent words of support and guidance. I pretty much broke down. I’m ok now just very very tired.

Wanted to give you all a giggle....

Friday while I was at home in bed recovering and still completely in pieces about the BF, the everything.... we kind of chatted at bit. Eventually we started to be more rational. I was due to go to his house that night for computer games In onesies with him, his mum and daughter. So I said nope. Not going because I’m still broken and I’m not bringing unease into his mums house, with a child there.

He told his daughter I wasn’t visiting anymore because we had a fight.

About an hour later I get a text - “can you please come over tonight. She’s very disappointed.”

I have a feeling the youngster not only bounced her bottom lip off the floor, but told him off for being mean to me.

So I compromised. I went over for a few hours but didn’t stay the night.

He had brought be chocolates as apology.

We all had a lot of fun.

Im slowly recovering, resting, self caring and gently restoring things with man creature.

I am also teaching him fighting is ok IF it’s not done dirty with manipulative games. Be angry with me that’s FINE... just don’t play head games!!!

v.

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone,

Velvet,

Thanks for giving us an update.

I remember seeing a list of rules for fighting in relationships and maybe the word fighting wasn’t used. A friend had it on her fridge and I know one rule was just to talk about what is happening now and not bring up grievances from the past and so get off the topic.

Maybe you can work out your own rules that will work do you.

I wonder if people have their own guidelines/rules when they disagree. It would be interesting to know one.

My mother told me always to resolve any diagreement before going to sleep.

I like the idea that his daughter got you too co e over and probably told him off.

I am glad you are taking care of yourself and I hope your man creature is a quick learner.

Quirky

[velvetfaerie]

We both got things to learn.

and we are both slow.

v.

[quirkywords]

Hello fellow readers

I think we all have tendency to be slow in learning about relationships.

I feel I have never done well in relationships 101, and struggled through Marriage for beginners, and now in older age do not understand people or myself and I may need to enrol in Life the refreshes course, anyone want to join me?

Quirky

[Airies]

July 1st and into our new house. A fresh start. Speaking of making people giggle and a sign of my advancing years. I poured a fresh glass of milk, walked away and came back a few minutes later. Picked up a glass and thought this milk looks curdled and not quite right. Plus it had a label on the sign. Upon bringing it to my lips and cursing a bit realised I was trying to drink a bloody candle, my wife and I nearly wet ourselves laughing .. cheers

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone,

Airies well done for making it to your new abode and all the best for the start of your new life in the new house.

Your candle/milk story made me smile .

I once tried to make a phone call on my tv remote - has anyone done anything as silly as these two things.

how is everyone?

Quirky

[velvetfaerie]

Hehe @ Airies.

Candles don’t quench thirst like milk can.

I’d like a new .... life.

Think I will just try for dinner instead.

Small gains.

V.

[quirkywords]

hello all

Velvet,

A new life may happen because of dinner who knows.

Keep it simple

Quirky

[Loula]

Yay new house! How exciting!!!!

Having rules in your relationship is very important. Our big one is being honest straight away and not letting it turn into a volcano.

I also have a rule for myself that I made at a freaky young age. I am worthy of being treated like a queen. I treat everyone else with love, carining, manners and I expect the same. I come from a very violent physically and emotionally abusive home and knew straight away it was not right and not love. How I knew that as a young child who knows. But I tell all my single GF make sure he treats you like the queen you are because I know you will 100% look out and treat him right. This dosent mean there won’t be fights. Oh there will be fights but it’s an actual healthy relationship. Hope that makes sense!

This weekend has been to cold!!! I want to move to an warm island! Work with the village kids and snorkel every afternoon. Anyone want to join?

Question. As you know I’m struggling getting stable at the moment and feel like I’m in a washing machine. I’ve noticed whoops I put weight on!!! Like a bit to much. I was going to do a full on cleanse but say two was a wreak swearing my head off at work. Have any of you dieted and it gone well or bad with moods? I’m thinking of maybe trying smaller portions and treadmill time. I just don’t want to upset myself worse but I know the weight loss will make me happy as I’m vein and love fashion lol.