This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[Airies]

Hello all,

freezing away here. Just watched an interesting TEDx talk titled The surprisingly dramatic role of nutrition in mental health/ Julia Rucklidge/ TEDx Christchurch which goes into the role of micronutrients as an alternative to medications. It’s dated in 2014.
Went to the pictures , watched the latest Top Gun. I don’t profess to being a Tom Cruise fan but it all wasn’t about him and was a good film.

Hope others are keeping warm , my four legged hot water bottle isn’t budging off the couch nor am I for that matter unless I really need too

[quirkywords]

Four legged water bottle sounds great .

I have a two legged heat bear that smell of lavender.

[Airies]

It’s a bummer getting older. Just back from a ride. Guess who almost fell into the fence getting out of the laundry. I managed to save myself by lunging at the door frame and hanging on.My right foot continues to give me grief. I’m at a loss.That’s my whinge. It was a balmy 8 degrees with a high of 12.Looking forward to a warm, no hot shower. I know there’s bigger issues in the world but I’m sick of falling over

[quirkywords]

Aries

There is saying old age is no place for sissies.

[quirkywords]

A question for all

Does anyone feel they are living another life and not the life they thought they would have or are not the person they hoped they would be.?

some days I feel grateful and feel lucky with my life and sonetimes I had imagined a career In a world of research writing and not a variety of jobs.

[velvetfaerie]

Hey Airies, is your right foot painful or just not lifting properly when you move? Have you had it checked? Soz if I missed anything that says you have.

I never really had any preconceived notions of my life. A couple I suppose but never a picture in my head.

Work is busy. I don't have to go to the gym during the week with all the steps and moving heavy things. The cold weather sucks though!!!

I am considering an electric blanket. I think I'm getting old too!!!

[quirkywords]

Velvet I wear a singlet and I never thought I would.
the other night I tried a weighted blanket was ok but I kept r

I kept taking it off when too hot.
anyone else tried one…?

[Airies]

Quirky, at times I wonder if I would have stayed in one profession as opposed to the other given they are vastly different things would have been different but you can’t change the past, hindsight is wonderful but that’s the way the cookie crumbles. As they say life wasn’t meant to be easy.

Velvet, I’ve had it checked, saw a specialist for about 5 minutes and wasn’t impressed with his response. If it still hurts in 8 weeks come and see me then.I’m walking through it , riding now and trying to eat clean so my weight comes down and stays down.I’m saying to myself just do.

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone,

I have had 2 visits to help with family in one week to the big city.

Good to feel wanted but not go to feel ignored.

[velvetfaerie]

Well the work colleague I thought were friends leave me out of social events all the time.

Car died.

Home renos failed.

The lesson? No more loyalty to people who use it and aren't true friends.

Put me first. I am not going to work the day my car gets towed to the mechanics. Everyone else can ve absent for whatever reason SO CAN I!! I've given my all and don't even have any reward... aka paid overtime. The rest do.

So that's it. I'm done being decent to most except maybe 4 actual friends and my parents.