This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[Guest9337]

Bob and Brad. 10 Minute Seated Exercises for Seniors, Elderly, & Older People on youtube. Those guys are thin but feel somewhat aged to me.

[quirkywords]

Lisa

that is nice the grow group is supportive. I think these groups depend on the facilitator. years ago a friend was in a support group for mental health but found it cliquey and noticed even though it was against rules people were pairing up.

DnG sitting down- I can stand up just no jumping. I have fiund one that suits me on youtube for over 50s and I turne the sound down.

Velvet I hope the appointment is helpful. Glad you are walking so much.

[velvetfaerie]

I have to add - blended families and sgep kids who are enabled. Parents who don't support a good co existence beneficial for all are a joke.

Don't do it.

i regret it. I do the right thing and I'm always the bad person.

[Guest9337]

Good sunday morning to you all.

I am up and down, round and round so far today. Wife touched my head "gently" through my hoodie and it felt like I'd been hit, all massive and loud in my ears, startled me big time.

So sensitive so far today

[quirkywords]

Velvet I can relate to doing the right thing but Bering seen as the bad person. Or doing the right thing then missing out.

DnG feeling that sensitive is a pain in all sense of the word. When ultra sensitive I find my partners sniffling in his slipper feels like a noisy bull dozer.

[Guest9337]

effing annoying, and my feet feel like ice blocks.

I think I chalk today up in the crap column.

[velvetfaerie]

Noisy bulldozer.... hehe. I love the analogy.

Yeh I'm over being left out. Having my concerns ignored. Being made to feel like I'm the bad one.

Empty appologies and fake attempts to change things.

People are scum

[asdff]

Hello, Laying low today but things haven’t changed back to the kids being back at school. That is tomorrow.

Lisa, I am the type to do things in lockdown. I might become hermit like if it was a long one like you have. One of our long ones last year. I got into the garden and ripped out a group of plants with strong roots. That was satisfying, as I had to use a small axe on the roots. I took out some of my aggression on the plants.

Velvet, I’m glad your leg has improved and you are moving around lots.

Quirky and dng happy to hear you’ve found some online exercise programs.

[velvetfaerie]

So when someone threatens you and your property and you say you'll have them charged.... then they say prove it... is that abuse ?

[velvetfaerie]

I need an adventure. The coronavirus stuff... the break in.... the everything for the last couple of years as stifled my soul. I'm restless and unhappy.

Time to put thinking cap on.