This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[Airies]

Lisa, I don’t think I’ve read 12 books in the last 20 years. I’ve read 3 pages of my current book in as many days. Yet once I’d read a book in a day, loved reading, hence my years working in a library.

It’s been a bit of an eye opener seeing how towns on our journey and places within Echuca have been affected by COVID. We’ve tried to spread ourselves around by not eating at the same place. Quality time with my wife and peaceful walks along tracks. Country people and school children have been so friendly and polite and a “ hello” goes a long way.

Quirky I hope you can get across. We’ve had no issues just having to register online and present licence.

[quirkywords]

Aries your travels sound idyllic.

I only had to travel within the state.

I have not read msny books cover to cover for years as I read non fiction and dive in and out. . I did read a lot of books when younger.
I have read a few memoirs and fiction but mainly to relax.

[asdff]

Hello, Just coasting here. Nothing bothering me. Well somethings bother me but no major things. Kids sport on weekends. I am not sure what the plans are for later today.

[quirkywords]

Asdff

I like to here you are just coasting and nothing bothers you.

It is very cold and wet here.

[Airies]

Made it home, we decided we could never do a long road trip interstate or around Australia.Following google maps was a bit of a headache. Anyway appreciate to get away.
Lisa i hope your return home goes well. Be kind to yourself and I liken my stays as skills learnt to add to your tool box,

Asdff, coasting is good what’s the secret? V I hope you are ok.

im expecting a call any day now as my stepdad is in once again, suffering from sepsis in the abdomen and not expected to survive.
I can’t believe there’s people who won’t vaccinate. I understand it’s not compulsory but …..

Quirky how are you. Is it still cold and wet? I getting out on the bike , logging my food and travelling well

[quirkywords]

Airies

Glad you are home. It sounds like a pleasant trip.

I am ok, tired and cold, and eating too much, always do in winter.

I am volunteering at least 3 days a week sometimes 5 times.

I miss my shop and know I need to accept it and I have I tried having a market stall. I am good at buying stock but having the stall is problematic as I don’t drive and the whole process is stressful.

[quirkywords]

Hi everyone big wave to all

It is cold and windy and I feel snug inside. this is one of my rare days at home .

I have writing to catch up on and need to put items in garage but the thought of braving the weather for a few metres seems too hard.

Does the weather affect what you do or do you go outside no matter what the weather?

[asdff]

Hey Quirky, Airies, Velvet, Lisa and all reading,

Yes weather affects my moods big time! It’s chilly and cold here. When it’s raining it is worse because I can’t get out in the garden, get the kids outside off their electronics. I have one avid reader like me. One avid electronics lover.

One child has nits. Yes, those horrible miserable creatures. I am hoping we don’t get them. I’ve treated the child. Had my washing machine on for three loads in hot water. Got a preventative spray. My husband has checked my head twice. I’ve checked other child. Many don’t really get them because nits hate testosterone. Well I was told that by a nit treatment person. We have had them before and oh my goodness it was the longest winter in history. I couldn’t get rid of them and needed up paying a person to come and great us. It was a good three to four months of me using chemist bought treatments. Conditioner with combs. Washing towels, hats, sheets, daily. Then I paid someone to come out and they were gone. Not before I was at my wits end.

So not coasting today. Tired, as little emotional.

[quirkywords]

Asdff , Aries,Lisa, Velvet and all those reading ,

Nits I could write a book about all the theories.

they don’t like dirty hair only clean hair,

they do like short hair

tea tree oil is enough, it isn’t,

I used to get a non chemical based one that worked nearly 30 years ago.

I ended up following a routine that worked for me.

I remember a teacher who had No chi,Daren went to her hairdresser and was shocked she had noirs, which is a hazard if being a reacher especially with younger children when you play on the floor with them.

Asdff all the best, this too will past.

[Lisa611]

Hi All am still in here. I get discharged on Tuesday. My Psych upped the antidepressant again. I spoke to my principal on the phone and told her I was worried about stigmatisation. I am allowed to Leave the hospital tomorrow to attend a meeting with her. My psych is writing me a doctor's certificate and a clearance. I am starting to feel better. I hope everyone is travelling along ok.