This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[quirkywords]

Lisa so you are dis harmed at start if s holidays. Is that right.?

it is a two edge sword, if we don’t tell people about how we feel there will be stigma but if we dint share in some way people will never understand how common mental health is.

When I was teaching I would say I was tired but since giving talks for BB I have been more open. The trouble in a work situation you don’t want to be stereotyped either and everything you do judged.

I hope the principal is understanding and open to suggestions. I

[asdff]

I self soothes myself today. I am proud. I was outside putting more clothes out in the sun to de nit. I saw my colouring texters left from another time. I thought I need to be colouring. Found some books and sat doing them. I have had a busy morning with two different schools. All fun social things and I have a sport thing for child tonight. I just felt overwhelmed on the way to one of them. I got through it and came to do my colouring. I might get back to it. This busy brain needs some downtime.

[quirkywords]

I was told I could not colour in when I was 7 so I find colouring im books stressful.

[asdff]

Quirky that is rude. You needed to be nurtured. Today’s colouring was outside the lines, I didn’t care. I did care that the first picture I tried was one colour; a building. I flicked through and found something I could use colours on. Sunglasses! Bright and fun. I am not great but don’t have time to cry or fall into a heap.

[quirkywords]

Thanks asdff, bright and fun that describes my colourful leggins I where most days. Haven"t worn a dress for 18 months!!

[asdff]

Not okay. Husband is heading out tonight and again tomorrow. I am ALWAYS stuck with the kids and the housework. He says yeah but I work. Yes and I work too, it's unpaid and my boss is the family. My daughter is in the teenager stage where she eye rolls, back chats etc. She is getting on my nerves. Other child wants to game all day and that is not on in our house. Who is the one who has to nag him to go outside, to ride his bike, visit friends? Me. So yeah I am the bad cop and he is the good cop.

[quirkywords]

Asdff

I know that feeling of doing everything for everybody but the work is not valued as much as paid work. You are amazing Asdff don’t forget that.

I am 2 hrs into a 2 week lock down.

The worst part is I may miss my grandchild’s birthday but that’s life .

take care everyone

[asdff]

Oh Quirky that sucks. I hope you get to have some online time with your grandchild on their Birthday. I am sitting down with my children. They are watching a lovely Disney movie called Soul. They have been glued to it. My mental state is making me drop in and out of the movie.

[Find_hope]

My adult Son was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 in November last year. He was prescribed an anti psychotic medication. His health professionals have him tapering off this medication. does anyone know if this can causes Insomnia, body pain and anxiety? I have checked online and there is evidence of this happening. But his health professionals don't acknowledge it.

[quirkywords]

Find hope,

welcome to this thread. We are people with lived experience but are not medical so can only give thoughts from what we have experienced.

Medication affects different people in different ways. I have not taken any psychotic medication . I take a mood stabiliser that works for me but others find it very difficult.

I know some people with bipolar experience anxiety and insomnia.

Others reading your post will reply and maybe more helpful.

Apart from the medication side effect how is your son and you coping. It can take a while after being diagnosed to adapt..

Feel free to drop in chat and or ask questions as often as you like .

Take care