This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[Airies]

Hi folks, back from another long ride. 2 days in the saddle and speaking of bottoms mine is sore. Going out tonight with wife’s work mates, only a couple but that will do me. So so looking forward to a pizza. I can remember as a kid wishing I was one year older then I was. In a hurry to grow up. Do I act my age? No way I use humour, tend to deflect and totally inappropriate these days. I’m always buying things, eBay , gumtree, something to fill the void if only momentarily. Just made a smashing smoothie to fuel the body for tomorrow’s ride. I’ve got some light weights in the garage. I need to mix things up.

Asdff we can be so hard on ourselves.Not mixed up. Others don’t get us, we do. I’ve only a few goals a day. A few days back I had to go to bed for consecutive days in the arvo and I slept for hours. I don’t know how you and others manage, kids,budgets etc . Try and be kind to yourself. It hasn’t been a normal year at all with COVID at the forefront. My little applecart gets upset very easily.

[asdff]

I just dropped daughter off for a pool swim with her friends. High School starts Monday week. It’s all changing and it upsets me. I like routine and the known. This catching the bus for her. The potential for bullying etc is overwhelming for me at the moment. She is a tough kid. Not a damaged flower like her mother was at her age. She is smart and not super sensitive. I’m sure she will thrive. This Mum likes routine and this is a huge change.

[clown_of_mine]

asdff I love a good dropping the kids of at the pool joke ! but I get the feeling in your case it's real. I'm excited for you and your daughter this is a big deal , I am not a parent but I imagine it to be double the trouble for double the fun. good luck for her school year.

[quirkywords]

I am sure you know this, high school is the beginning of changes as she becomes a teenager.

You will probably laugh and cry through her high school years and she will have moments but you will be there for her.

[clown_of_mine]

quirky I saw the thankful thread and you have grand kids Now I am turning green , lucky you

I'm proud of those of you with BP who parent , only wish I had been one of ya. AMAZING

[quirkywords]

Parenting is challenging and you get through it to find when your children nave children you didn’t know anything at all about child rearing except for the fact they all turned out ok.

I think we all make decisions in life and have to cope as best we can

[clown_of_mine]

World events give me energy peaks the aunguration that happened over night our time and now the ufc event. I get wakeful. does this sound BP or just odd?

[clown_of_mine]

The BP's must be busy cause I'm flying solo it's so hot today we just knocked off- that's the dam Reno not paid work- found a tonic water with natural Quinine and zero sugar it's in the major supermarkets why? is this relevant it's the quinine it was used before modern medicine to treat fever. My med's cause me to feel the heat, something I never used to experience so I will try anything to get back to being my old self. Oh and I had a nip of gin in the tonic water - just like the Queen does at lunch apparently - so If I waffle you know why - I'm about to say bye and I'm gonna wave at you's just like ole queenie

[Airies]

I discovered gin and tonic on a cruise we did., My son Brought me a sample pack of select aussie gins and I treated myself with a few. I haven’t had one in ages. Alcohol and me and my meds dont agree.Speaking of kids wife and I ran into our old day care people last night on a rare outing. Our boys were the first kids enrolled and fast forward 20 odd years they are still working there. I couldn’t remember them. My long term and short term memory is ordinary. Anyway lots of food, desert and I had a food coma this morning.
Like you Asdff I crave routine, I’ve only a few boxes to tick daily. Kids are hard work.One of mine plays online games constantly and the other can be quite cutting n his remarks. Love them to bits, they’re both adults. I think BP parents are amassing.I don’t think I am

[quirkywords]

Clown ,people here will post a lot and then not at all.

Like g and t, but only every now and then.

Aries my memory seems to get worse each day.