This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[Airies]

Quirky, I’m lucky i found my psych. Had a bit to do with her in the public system and then private. She was that light at the end of the tunnel. I see her once/ twice a year or as required. Once it was weekly or daily during my dark desperate times. I’m usually ok after a session, even upbeat but that could change in an instant. All depends after midweek visit. At least it’s face to face. I’m still all over the shop re meds, changing like the wind but common sense says stay out increase, it’s up to her. My only social interaction is here on BB, a chat to a neighbour and a couple of friends phone contact. Have others found theve withdrawn. As I’m getting older I can’t be bothered. I need some get up and go pills

[quirkywords]

What is that old saying my get up and go has gone up and went.

[velvetfaerie]

Ooooffff dental stuff is heaps expensive!!! Kids are expensive haha!!!
I had all my wisdom teeth taken out under anaesthetic when I was 20. I hope all goes ok with this stuff asdff.
DANG KIDS! **Shakes fist***

I've been busy. Haven't rested yet but the busy has been things I want to do. So it's fun. Walking. Gym. Sushi. I even got man thing to walk a lot!!! He did well!!!

We walked up the road to Bunnings... 4km one way on my first day if leave - Friday. We were on a road that has a major road parallel to it with big bushes between them. You can't see the main road. Then we hear it. SCREECH BAAAANG!!! and a wheel went flying through the air about 20/m in front of us. I bolted knowing it wasn't going to be good. Long story short... one car came over medium strip and got t boned by another. About 80km/hr. Everyone was fine. I was into the t boned car first along with 2 other men. I could not believe how lucky the couple were. If things were a split second different.... angle and timing it would have been very bad.
The driver had one minor scratch as did his passenger. That was it. Bit shaken up but didn't even go for a ride in the ambo.
The cars .... well.... one was a complete write off. The other may have been salvaged. First aid. Do it. I was the only person there who knew what to do. (Career choice helps there too). Ok that was long. Woops.

I hope everyone has been ok otherwise. Medication stuff if never fun Airies. I hope things get better soon.

Just got back from shopping. I got liquorice bullets :D

[asdff]

I am laughing at the liquorice bullets. It's like a food group for us BP peeps. I love them, they are better thatn ice cream, plain chocolate, chips. I wonder what it is that we all love so much?

Well done Velvet on rending first aid. Crazy how things can change in an instant.

[Airies]

Velvet, sounds like some very lucky people and an eventful break so far. Your meant to relax .... as if I know sometimes we can’t stop. I haven’t had them for a while.... at least a week. I think I picked up the 4 types in one pack, put them down and indulge in violet crumbles in a pack instead. Your right Asdff I love them big time as well. WIsh they came in a bigger pack:(

[asdff]

Bigger pack Airies would mean I eat more. I don't need that.

[Airies]

You and me both Asdff I’m scared to hop on the scales

[quirkywords]

My scales and I have a deal. If the scales have silly numbers they get hidden. If they behave they stay in bathroom.

Well poor scales are no more and am in no hurry to replace them.

[velvetfaerie]

I've been a piggy the last few days..i don't own scales. They are banished..... along with irons and ironing boards.

[quirkywords]

Velvet a person after my own heart.

I stopped ironing as teenager as my mum could not see the difference between my ironed effort and my unironed ones!!

My son's preschool teacher said that I must not iron as he was using the toy wooden iron to make roads!!!