This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[Airies]

Visit went well with psych. Change to timing of meds and option of a break with a short admission. Possible short break with mrs airies an option along with practicing mindfulness. All good and we shall see. I think I’ve made enough progress to avoid going in. If I fo it’s just for a break from the real world... I’ve ironed twice in my life. Both times a fail ..

[quirkywords]

Aries I am pleased you trust your psych. I have found it hard to find a medical person I can really trust and who believes in me.

I am glad you have options.

if I had the money and it was possible I would go to a health resort and just be self indulgent for a week. Would any one else join me??

[Airies]

Quirky , she is a good one and has that rare ability to come up with a phrase thought pattern that I haven’t thought of. She has seen me at both spectrums...rock bottom and feeling pretty good. Woke an hour earlier and heard the birds before that corolates with earlier meds. I would exercise but it’s pretty wet. Rain all week , great for the garden

[quirkywords]

Aries, I had a bad experience once with a medical person .

It is great you have a great relationship with psych.

[Airies]

Quirky, same here , one told my wife and I she couldn’t wave a magic wand. Also the same prescribed massive doses of meds. I was at my wits end and she wasn’t helping. I’ve made some progress since then but still massively NQR ..

[quirkywords]

Aries

It is funny how we recall the mean things people say to us whether friends strangers or medical professionals but sometimes forget the kind words.velvet how are you going?
Are you relaxing yet?

[quirkywords]

How is everyone?

Keeping busy .?
staying healthy?
having fun?

big wave to all from quirky,

[Airies]

Hello a Quirky,

waving right back at you and Asdff and Velvet. Good, keeping busy. Early days of consecutive bike rides.Found this great app. Insight timer, full of mindfulness apps, lectures. I’m trying to practice mindfulness every day... hopefully being more at peace with myself and others. That’s the plan anyway.Jere in Vic and regional COVID numbers right down yay. Remember be kind to yourselves and thanks for waving Quirky,

[quirkywords]

Hello all

aries

I have not worked out apps yet .My children won’t help.

sounds like a good plan.

[velvetfaerie]

No relaxing yet. Between domestic duties and a partner who's snoring is getting beyond a joke.... I am at wits end. My surgery wound is still needing Dr visits every 2 or 3 damn days and I'm fending off a cold I think.

Been listening to the snoring now for 2 hours. I'm about to move beds. I've had it.

😑😑😑😑😑😑