This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[meercat]

Quirky ..thankyou for the rewording of my post.

meercat xx

[Issi]

Quirky

My phone interview was terrible, she rang 10 minutes early and I was almost home, so I had to pull over and have the interview there. I was nervous, didn’t have my questions with me. At the end she gave me a little hope by explaining salary and commission mix. Then I ring today as I didn’t hear anything, and I was unsuccessful. It has really knocked me for a six, not sure if I can deal with the rejections.

Issi

[quirkywords]

Issi,

That was bad luck about her ringing early and maybe unprofessional. Rejections are hard aren't they but unfortunately pat of going for a new job.

I read of a well known children's America author who was rejected 473 times!! I would have given up at a boy the 5th rejection but she kept going and is now a prize winning author.

She was determined to keep going . I think that would have taken so much belief in yourself or as she says sheer stubbornness.

For the rest of our one rejection is one too many.

Maybe others have ideas how they handle behind rejected for a job.

Quirky

[Issi]

Thanks Quirky

Still feel a little flat, but looked through seek and indeed etc and applied for a couple more jobs that suit my experience in travel. But once they find out I’m 49 they don’t want me as entry level. I’ll keep putting myself out there, maybe drop in to a few agency’s a drop off my resume.

Issi

[Loula]

And boom let's bring along the side effects! My hands won't stop shaking. My tummy is so upset and I got a headache and the best part is im at work and the toilets are up 5 flights of stairs!!!

[meercat]

Hi Issi.

Im sorry u missed out on ur first interview it must have been awkward in the car.. Have u finished ur exams yet?

When i first met u here, i mentioned i went back to Tafe later in life.

When my real estate diploma was nearly completed, I put on my best 'op shop designer' suit and with resume in hand, i nervously knocked on doors. I was so wobbly i could hardly speak.

The biggest challenge was to get my resume into the hands of the company manager...not just the front desk.

When you get to meet the manager just introduce yourself and leave ur resume?" Say "thankyou for your time" then off to the next one.

It does get easier....

Rehearsing first what ur going to say also helps if ur a bit nervous.

All the best!

meercat xx

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone welcome to Monday

Loula

I hope you are feeling better now.

I can relate to being away from home and a long way from a bathroom with an upset tummy.

Have you had those side effects before?

Was Sunday any better?

Issi,

The age thing is annoying. It is why I started up my own business in my late 40s.

Meercat has some good advice and experience. I suppose you can just keep trying and find someone who knows that your experience will be an asset to them.

Quirky

[velvetfaerie]

MONDAY !!!!!!!

**slams the door**

No Monday. No.

GO AWAY.

**Runs screaming**

Hi 😄

[quirkywords]

Velvet, Can you hold the door and keep out December?

I am just looking forward to it being 2017 and now they say it is almost December.

I am not ready for December.

Velvet, did you stop Monday?

I was wondering does anyone have a day of the week they find they feel flat or down?

For some reason if I have a bad day it is a Thursday. I don't do mornings or Thursdays?

How about everyone else?

Quirky

[velvetfaerie]

HAHAHAH I laughed at loud at that Quirky. I can try. I like December because the university closes for two weeks and I get two weeks off! WOO. I can stop portions of December with my might if you like??

Late Sunday afternoons I get a bit glum because Monday looms, and it is the furthest from the weekend again.

Sadly Monday is happening all around me. It is like soul sucking quick sand. There is no antidote!

V.