This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[Airies]

No wonder there was that hit song,

tell me why I don't like Mondays back in the 80s.For me it could be any day. I'm not a morning person and by late arvo the cracks appear. Will find Xmas taxing. I used to be the life of the party once but party no more.

if it's a sunny day it opens up a world of opportunities.Have had enough of Melbournes topsy, Turvy weather. Roll on Summer,

cheers Airies

[velvetfaerie]

I have been described as that, "the life of the party." Must be a bipolar thing.

I like sunny days 😄 ........................Unless it gets stinking hot then it is too much.

Mondays. ARGH. One snickers would make it better but i am being good !

V

[Issi]

Hi Quirky

I don’t like mondays either, only 2 weeks left on my course then out into the world of job opportunities. Since my grandmother and parents passed away (nan and dad in 2012 and mum in 2014) Christmas doesn’t hold much meaning for me even though I have a 14 and 18 year old. I would be happy to just go to the beach for the day.

Issi

[quirkywords]

Hello all

I thinkI feel sorry Mondays. As IWork 7 days Iforget what day it is which is not a good thing!

Issi , Christmas seems to be sad or happy for people withnotmuch inbetween.The day at the beach sounds fine.

Iknow Christmas is discussedon other threads,I wonder if people have coping methods they use that help or it is a time of year they welcome. If you dont celebrate Christmas how do you deal with this time of year and holidays?

When I started writing I thought it was Monday now I realise it i Tuesday!! Is there aword for confusing days? ( getting older!)

Loula,hopeyou are ok.

Quirky

[Loula]

Hi Quirkywords words.

Was not fun. Yes have had the sea sickness feeling on other anti depressants before but never the shaking of the hands. Symptoms are still there coming in waves but saw my doctor who said it's 100% normal.

My work was good I just said I may need an extra break or sit down. As soon as I noticed my hands where shaking I went into a full blown panic attack but some how calmed myself down.

So fingers cross my belly and hands settle down and my brain likes these tablets then boom I can tick something of my list.

[quirkywords]

Loula,

I know it is hard for some people as it takes some time to get used to a new medication.

I am glad you told work and they will let you sit down. I can understand how noticing your shaking hands would make you alarmed. Hopefully that will calm down.

I cross my fingers too and hope the effects settle down.

You are doing all the helpful things .

Thanks for keeping us up to date.

Quirky

[Issi]

Quirky

It’s only Christmas as it was the last time we were all together. Dad was lucid, he had dementia and Parkinson’s, Nan was ok just tired, we had 15 people around the table. Now due to circumstances we seam to have all gone separate ways. We do celebrate Christmas but I don’t feel the Christmas spirit.

Issi

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone,

How is everyone feeling today?

I think I am stuck in the basement mood elevator (see first post) . It is ok as I feel grounded but I am not moving up or down just waiting to move.

Issi,

I hope you can find something calming to do at Christmas. It will be sad as so much has change din a year.

Quirky

[velvetfaerie]

I am in the cranky basement. Sick of people. Sick of my current exhaustion.

Christmas = I have no enthusiasm for it this year. Been a crazy year for many and all it seems. Once again I will be running around after people. That is not enjoyable year in and year out.

C.

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone

Velvet

The cranky basement, I know where that is!!

Can you cancel Christmas and head to the beach.

Quirky