This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[velvetfaerie]

If I could leave my bed. I crashed as I got home. Unsure what’s going on. Freezing cold. Exhausted. Cranky gut.

beach..... least be nice n warm n sunny n relaxing hey? 😎

v

[Issi]

Velvet

if you can today go and enjoy some sun, turn the phone off, put yourself first. Go to the local beach or park with a book and a cold drink (non-alcoholic) even it is for half an hour. It will help lift your spirits. It’s a small fix but hopefully it helps.

Issi

[velvetfaerie]

Hey issi,

thats a great idea.... I’ll do that ASAP...

hope all is well guys.

xx

[quirkywords]

Good morning everyone,

Issi, that is a lovely suggestion. Sometimes a small change is just what is needed.

Velvet, let us know how your day goes and if Issi suggestion works.

Do other people have a small fix that works for them?

Sometimes I just walk around my house , when I have been inside the shop for too long. Just a short walk outside seems t help.

Quirky

[quirkywords]

Hello to everyone reading this for the first time, people who read often, people who post often or sometimes,

I just want everyone to know this is a friendly , caring and nonjudgmental place where we all try to listen and help each other.

Feel free to ask any questions.

Has anyone found changing diet to help with being tired. I am tired of feeling tired.

Quirky

[Lady_Stardust]

Hey, everyone.

Hope everything is well, I’ve not yet read through all the replies. Quirky, I haven’t tried with the diet thing, I’ve actually been really unhealthy in my quest to lose weight. I am tired all the time because I don’t sleep. I’m sure that certain foods would help improve fatigue, maybe look online into that specifically?

I’m not feeling very good, haven’t felt good for the past few days. I dread going to bed every night because I don’t want to wake up the next day, but then it’s worse because I stay up too late and feel horrible the next day so there’s no logic to it whatsoever. I can’t find a paid job, all I’m doing is working for free. I can’t make a career or living out of free. I don’t even care about a career really, I just want some income and independence.

I would also like to be able to see my friends but they all live away from me, too far. Only get to see them sometimes, nowhere near as often as I used to for years. I hate my house, I’m sick of being in it. Stupid place. Everything’s always the same.

[Issi]

Hi

I’ve tried taking things like sugar and carbs out but that didn’t help me.

I hope velvet got outside the other day as the last few has done nothing but rain ☔️. I know I’ve had grumpy teenage boys at home with cricket 🏏 and baseball ⚾️ being called off.

Looking forward to a sunny week.☀️

[Loula]

Hi Lady_Stardust

Diet will majorly improve your fatigue. It will change so much. But I can't really speak because when I'm low I live on chocolate chips and burgers. I have no clue why but I just go to it.

I fully understand what you mean by hate your house and everything is the same. I feel at times trapped in my house but my friends are far I can't visit them and I don't want to go out on my own. It's no fun. What I do and sounds silly is design my dream house. I'll never afford it but it takes my mind out of my house. I also sometimes by a new poster or change the furniture around in my place. Makes it feel different.

Hopefuly the vicious cycling of not sleeping till late and feeling down will start to stop soon. We all know it dose stop it just sucks when your in it.

I hope you have a better day today xxx

[Loula]

Hi guys,

Strange question but do any of you have private health insurance?

I was woundering if that's something I should get having mental health?

I've never been hospitalised for my bipolar. I should of but my husband literally supervised me for days. But from what I've heard the public mental health hospitals are not great for people with bipolar or just in general. Is that true?

I'm also thinking if I decide to get pregnant if I would want to go private as I would not want to get lost in the system and I know I will need a lot of mental health support.

But last night I looked at the price and laughed my head off. It's literally unaffordable. Like it's a joke. What do the people do who can't work? Like I work and this is way to pricy.

[quirkywords]

Star_dust,

I am sorry you are not feeling well.

I can hear your frustration not having a job.

I can relate to your sleep cycle .

My friends live a long way away too.

I hope things pick up for you soon.

Kind thoughts

Quirky

Issi,

The trouble with sugar and carbs, they feel so good and comforting. Cottage cheese on celery sticks does not comfort me at all.

Loula

Choc chips and burgers , I can relate to, I like to eat chocolate , hot chips, lots of cheese, (not at once but I could consider it) when low.

I didn thave private insurance to a year or so ago and am thinking of getting rid of it as it is so expensive. My partner had it and wanted me to join but I had to pay a huge premium as I hadn't had private insurance for decades. I really can't see the point.

I did have insurance when I was having children but I was fairly stable when pregnant( I was not medicated then) so I did not need special support. I suppose it depends on the mental health services nearby .

I will be interested to what others say.

Loula how are you going?

Quirky