Taking antidepressents for the first time tomorrow morning.

[Cesca1557]

Hi,

Im not really sure why im posting this but Im feeling really unsure about taking medication tomorrow. I have had depression for about 7 years, but at the beginning my mum thought i was too young (i was 12-13), and its only now that I have finally decided that I need something else to help as I cant seem to make myself happy on my own.
I am really hopefull for what the antidepressents will do, but I am also really worried. My father has bipolar, and I am really worried that by taking them, it could trigger it in me. I dont have bipolar my self, but due to the genetic predisposition to it and the increased chance of getting it as my dad has it, im really worried that this might be enough to set it off.
As much as I want to be happy, if it risked me going through what he has gone through and put us through over the years, I wouldnt do it.

Sorry, im not really sure what the point of this was, I think I just wanted to vent a little bit.

Cesca

[Pysis]

Hey c

im sorry to hear your not doing to well I really hope it gets better for you soon. I'm glad you saw your phycologist though and they helped a bit.

its really hard c can you go visit your neighbors dog and try and clear your head a little? I'm sure you'll do ok I know it dosent seem like it now, but your a very smart girl so you'll be fine just try and do it bit by bit.

Thinking of you too and sending love and hugs. youll get there I'm sure of it!

Nath

[Cesca1557]

hey nath,

thanks so much!
part of me wants to go back again to see her tomorrow as i have so much i want to say and work through! but will just have to wait until the next appointment.
i spent a bit of time there today (im house sitting again as they have gone away during the school holidays), but it didnt help at all.
sadly, if i dont know all the content (which i dont at the moment), i wont be able to do that well as both subjects are knowledge based, so if i dont know the answer, theres not much i can do unfortunately. but hoping that i am able to sort of some sort of consideration, ive never tried to get consideration before but i think i really need to this time, its like my brain has gone foggy and i cant concentrate at all, so no matter how hard i try, i cant seem to learn it all. Hoping that when i change the dose of AD's , it will help to clear it up, as i did notice my processing levels and concentration dropped when i started taking them, so then i will be better by the time exams arrive in about a month or so.

thankyou for the support, it means a lot 🙂

[Pysis]

Hi, c

no problem.

you know you can always say anything you want on here, we might not be phycologists but we can help you through it , we are here for you.

im sorry to hear that the puppy hugs haven't helped. Tell me what is it you love doing more than anything? Maybe you can try and do that.

Right now I think you really need to work on your mental health c and I think that it's a good idea to get some consideration I think the best thing would be being able to do the exams when your mind is a little clearer. What are the subjects C if I can help you with any of it in anyway I will.

Hopfully when you change up your meds a bit it will help you, I really do think you'll get through all this your very strong.

dont mention it c I'm sure you'd do the same for me.

sending hugs and love.

Nath

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Cesca,

I'm glad seeing your psych again was helpful. It sounded like you had a lot to talk about.

I agree with Nath that there is no "shame" (for lack of a better word) in seeking special consideration, etc as you have to do what's right for your mental health.

The ongoing concentration struggles must be so frustrating. Hopefully, in good time, you will find ways to recover your focus.

Sending hugs,

Pepper xoxo

[Cesca1557]

Thankyou nath and pepper!

it's definitely been a difficult few days

I don't feel numb today but I do feel really sad, tbh I don't know what's worse.

I haven't been able to get much work done at all today. It frustrates me so much that my brain isn't working properly and I don't know what to do to fix it

has anyone else found that their depression has gotten worse since going on the ads

maybe it's not that thry made it worse, but more than they haven't helped and I'm just feeling a little defeated by it all

thankyoi for all the support, it's greatly appreciated

[startingnew]

Hi Cee
just catching up on some posts.


It sounds like your psychologist has been helpful which is a great start. I find if they are helpful it Is worth breaking the bacnk a little bit.
Ok so youve had a look at the special considerations, are you able to ask your mentors or school about how to implement these so that your able to stress less about uni? Im wondering if you would consider dropping to part time study? That way you have more time to study and process the work. Just an idea...




in regards to the Ads. I cant say this for everyone so please keep in mind that not all of this will apply to you but in my experinence my ads actually did stop me from being able to concentrate but that was also because I had a lot of buildup. After your dose is changed it mgiht help you more as itll better help you manage your moods and things as well but sometimes to keep yourself concentrating I find rewards are a good system. Study in small incriments id say an hour and then treat yourself. I also find that listening to music actually helps me study as well but make it upbeat music, kinda like resetting the body to lets do this mode.
It is possibl that your putting too much pressure on yourself as well. The stress of exams is immense but having depression doesnt help. Also you are grieving, that plays a massive role in how your feeling also.


I think after speaking to your psychologist at least once more itll also help you settle because you would have gotten a lot off your chest, things that were clouding your mind that you might not have even realised was having a big impact


When do you see your gp next? And when do you see your psychologist next?

[Cesca1557]

Hi sn,

im not really sure what type of consideration I would be able to get, if any, but I'm trying to have a look into it at the moment. Preferable something that would push back my tests I have next week as I just need a bit more time to get my head sorted out.

I only have two weeks left of uni for the year, and then 4 weeks of swotvac exams. So there not much point dropping to part time now as I'm almost done! Then I get a 3 month holiday so have plenty of time until I start again next year.

Thankyou for the tips! I try to break it up into 30min -1 hour even normally. But even that's not really helping at the moment

I see my psychologist again in 2 weeks, and my gp in two weeks but I think I will ring up and see if there are any available appontments to see my gp next week instead.

it almost feels like all the emotions I didn't feel the last week when I was numb have come back and I can't stop crying.

Im going to have a shower now and hopefully that will help to relax me

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Cesca,

Happy to be here for you 🙂

It looks like the emotional dam has broken and now you're flooded by the previously repressed emotions. Ouch...that would sting...

In saying that, I think sometimes a good cry is important. It's cathartic an helps clear out some of our emotions. Gentle hugs...

I'm glad Butterfly has left you such wonderful advice and tips. Hopefully some of it helps you.

Not long till the end of semester! Just hang in there...easier said than done but you're almost there.

kind thoughts,

Pepper xoxo

[Cesca1557]

hey everyone,

im starting to really worry that they wont accept the special consideration application. im waiting on my psych sending me the health professional report which i need to send in with my application, but what if they dont accept it.

yesterday i tried hard but didnt learn anything, i tried to go through some notes, but everything just felt foggy and out of it and i couldnt concentrate, even for a short period of time. i spent quite a bit of the day in bed drifting in and out of sleep.

tomorrow i have the first test, im feelig more prepared for this one, not that thats saying much, but the one on wednesday i hardly know anything for.
i dont think ive ever been this underprepared for a exam before.

[startingnew]

Hi Cee

Sorry its taking me ao long to get around to everyone please know i care even when im not here and im with you in spirit.

Keep breaking your study up and give yourself rewards too. Makes studying more hmmm fun...

Sometimes we dont think we are prepared but we really are. You said you feel ready for this one. Good luck. Once this one is over study for the next one on wednesday. Try not to cram it all in but the pressure will reduce abit each exam you do. Try your best thats all you can do.

Did you manage to get to your gp? For a medical certificate....