Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[demonblaster]

Hi loves reply not through yet

Wolfy yes I like to talk here its a great outlet and can keep a BP diary too

The girls put me straight I felt they may have felt obliged but all good thanks to them. Didnt want them feeling obliged and taking up lot of their time. All good ☺

Thanks mean it all of you xx

[startingnew]

HI DB just sitting here quietly with you, no magic words today xoxo

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi 🦄.

I'm just calling ☎️ in to check on you and say thank you for everything you say to me...

Im sitting 🛋 🎉🎀🎈🎁🛍 with you again tonight, if that's okay..,

Holding on tightly to your hands 🤝.. My angel wings 👼 are holding you tightly..

Always with you in spirit 👼👼👼👼👼.

❤️🤗.

Grandy..

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi, 🦄

Are you ok honey?

❤️🤗

Grandy

[demonblaster]

Hiyaz than you dear Starts and Grandy Wolfy and lovely Peps Mandy STARWOLF (always thinking of you love xx)

Woah been sleeping and sleeping night before was close to all niter pain relief and heavy pain knocked me. Think its improving the arm but way to go.

Thanks Grandy your very welcome 😚 and to you too your an angel love your wings and you being close by really do.

Posted reply yestday to you all but not through dunno

Just going to walk get lunch bbl.

So hope you all doing better today

Love care 🤗☺ and deep appreciation for your time and compassion xx

[startingnew]

hey DB can you check the pearls thread when you get a chance

[Guest8901]

Hi Deebs,

Just a very quick visit to say hello and to let you know I continue to support you. Even if I'm a bit silent right now. Anyway thinking of you and sending love and warm thoughts.

Amanda

[Ggrand]

Hell Deebi🦄,

Im really pleased to 👂 hear that you have been sleeping better, last night I was talking to you and you drifted off, so I just curled up on my huge bean bag I Store at yours and fell asleep, I was really quiet when I left so I didn't waken you.. I'm pleased you slept for more longer..

I hope your right about your arm improving maybe a little 😇 angel dust sprinkled on it tonight❤️.to help it along.

I hope your day was better then yesterday,, still 👁👁, at you holding 🤝🤝, listening 👂👂 to you always..

Oh I found these for you today..🎀🛍🐘💍💍💅. Sparkles and everything nice, to make Deebi special and bright.

Respect for you always xx

❤️❤️❤️🤗🤗🤗

Grandy..

[demonblaster]

Very sweet thankyou so much SLD thats really lovely. As I said we're not going anywhere sweet darling xx

Mandy darling what a dear supportive caring chooky. Thankyou so much I really do appreciate you all so much. Pillars. Going to your place in ticcy, been wondering how you are xx

Grandy oh my Grandy love. If you could see my smile when I read your posts just love you being so close by. Thank you for staying, didnt you want to stay for 🥓🍳 even though I fell asleep 😂 while you were soothing and talking me what an 👼 and LOVED the massage thanks a million I 😴 quickly

You're beautiful people thank you all.

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi 🦄.

live just put Starts to bed with a story, hopefuuly it will make her sleep.

Hmm gonna make me a cuppa ☕️ nice and sweet, For you my dear lady a chamomile 😝 Yucky, I know but....

I brought my 😇 dust to sprinkle on you arm,

I hope you 😴 sleep well, I'll be watching 👁👁 over you tonight, just sitting here gently massaging your arm, and I'll put Leo Rojas on, lovely pan flut, he will make you sleep and take you to a magical land, full of unicorns, dragons, monkeys Pegasus, ohh yes let's grab Becker,( he is a laugh). and Kevev Sorbo (hercules" just because.. oh and a magical river that takes our BP depression/anxiety/PTSD and sadness away.. all we have to do is sit in the river and let the Magic work, Then we can go on a dragon or flying horse ride and check out the lush green country and colourful flowers 🌺 oh yeah and 🌲 trees.. look at all the birds fling along side of us, my favourite, the eagle, some doves, cockatoos, magpies, finches, wrens and canaries. ..wow down below the animals are playing with skipping ropes...lol the elephant 🐘 looks funny jumping rope, his trunk is flying up and down, lol can't stop laughing thinking about it...okay coming in for a landing now.....all safe landing....

I can hear your gentle breathing as you sleep deeply, I just got to fluff up my bean bag to make it soft and comfy.. Ahh all done. Okay time for me to have a little sleep also..

Give me your hands honey and I'll hold them for you, my wings are around you protecting you...sleep deeply and enter our magical world.

Good night sweet Deebi,

❤️❤️❤️&🤗🤗🤗, always..

Grandy.