Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Soul Hug Master (DB) and all,

I’m glad your inner flame is still alive and burning bright 🙂 Keep fanning...

Also, it’s beautiful how GG has been comforting you with her protective angel wings.

It’s our privilege and blessing to be your friend. Really...

Thanks for asking. You always keep an eye out for us even when you’re struggling so much yourself, which speaks volumes about your caring and kind nature. I’ve been having a very rough week. I’m currently sober but as soon as I log out, I’m getting a drink...

GG: you’re most welcome. The honour is ours 🙂

Soul hugs to all,

Pepper xoxo

[Ggrand]

Hello , Demonblaster,

You just made my day when I read big glows now..🔥🔥🔥

That means I get to see your beautiful rainbow smiley avatar popping up around the forums, I love it.

Awe DB, honey I'm pleased I can help you feel good a little, you do it to me, It's a strange feeling I get when I don't spot you running around the forums, it's hard to explain, but it like a part of me is missing as well after all I make you my mentor ages ago,

I was diagnosed by my Pysch last visit before Christmas, My emotional development is suppressed, stopped developing at a very young age, thats a major contributor of my fears, anxiety and decision making, because they are (Child like). Treatable but will take quite some time..Didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to believe it, I think this is a stupid dumb thing to happen. but it does make sense of my fears,anxiety,and decisions.

Keep that fire going strong, I will always be here you whether your up or down or in the middle so will Pepper, Starts and others, you are one very special lady, who stole my heart.

Kindness always for you DB, 🌟💫❤️💫⭐️

(L&C).

Grandy.

[demonblaster]

Haha Soul hug Master sending good wishes for a much better week sweet, I'd love a kahlua & milk 🍷 or with coke if not a JD & cola in a can so it has to be virtual im broke as 😭 but we can still have a laugh 🤣😄 & chat 🍰 oops thats my cake

Thx sweety for being such a honey ☺🤗🤗🤗

[demonblaster]

Haha Soul hug Master sending good wishes for a much better week sweet, I'd love a kahlua & milk 🍷 or with coke if not a JD & cola in a can so it has to be virtual im broke as 😭 but we can still have a laugh 🤣😄 & chat 🍰 oops thats my cake

Thx sweety for being such a honey ☺🤗🤗🤗

[demonblaster]

You dear lady Grandy thankyou so much too for your beautiful comments & honey 🤗 yes we work well for eachother ☺ you move me xx lovely things you say they go deep

I think its good to know reasons Grandy, jeez not your fault you had so much to deal with our minds really do try to protect us dont they. Treatable's excellent news. You have an army behind you darlin cause you're such an easy lady to like/love so you will get through I know it. You've got spunk

Love that jewellery its pwetty & same im not letting go of you either my lady

Big love Grandy 🌹. 🎁 anything you want in this gift & heres the bow 🎀

Dont forget when you look at stars xx

[Ggrand]

hi DB &Pepper,

i just found a bottle of Tia Mara, some munchies,

ill be joining you both tonight.

grandy

[demonblaster]

Oh god ...Tia Maria ...cousin of Kahlua, lets boooogie girls...come on Starts you too & YW...yeah babies time to burn off some uhhh hymmmnnn ...damn have to be a lady

[Ggrand]

Hi Lovely ladies,👀👋👋

I managed without knowing it downed 😜near third bottle my Tia Maria..lol 🍷🍷...gonna big headaches tomorrow...oh had plenty of peanuts, chippies 🎂🍰🍿to go with it,,good sleep tonight I think..🌝🌝 hoping you both had a good night..🌜🌜

nitey nites,

Grandy

[Peppermintbach]

Hi GG and all,

Sending you some weekend well wishes 🙂

I hope you had a good night yesterday. Thanks for keeping me company...

Pepper xoxo

[Peppermintbach]

Hey DB and all,

You too...thanks for the company last night.

grateful for your friendship 🙂

pepper xoxo