Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[demonblaster]

Hey darlin

Thanks asking if this stinking 🤕 would shoo and take beasty with it I'd be dandy ☺ Moods not great but more to tiredness than anything particular lovey.

Yw (your welcome) for bedsocks. Meant to say at yours if we're not warm or too warm for that matter we don't sleep well. You probs have things in those temps organized. Wondered if you soak yor feet in a bowl of warm water if they're cold before bed.

Does lime kill germs in water? Not sure if fluoride does to and I think for our teeth. Funny you said about filling bottles in the park, on a walking track the other day at a drink receptacle a lady said she was doing that too. Good idea. Thought for people that pay for water a good way of saving money. Great idea there's the fountain, for bottles & a tray for doggies and saw birdies drinking out of it too. Very well thought out and encouraging people to drink water.

Hope your pain is settling and a better day hun 💜

Last night with the headache and tired I thought nah for MH group but if I wake in time I'll go. 6.30am 😯 tried to go back to sleep but I made a conscious (spose I wasn't unconscious at the time 😆) decision to unless I absolutely can't go to special group and MH so think that was my internal alarm. I feel here too as there I'm. Growing, so worth going. Couple of new faces and a lovely chook from our other group, going to see if anothers interested too. It's VERY good how it's all done.

Might have tomoz with friend for a bit if not ok need to catch up sleep. Going tt this wk hoping. To play.

Archilles still quite sore my bad haven't been continuing excercises must make myself. Folish not too. Ok on hills.

Before bed soon RIGHT NOW going to do a job I've been putting off for ages. Spoke about it at group which has spurred me on. Even had PC on to do it last night got distracted and then put in to hard bin. Sigh.

Nigh nite, see yaz later tonight.

Love sweety 🤗😚

Thank you lovely souls

[startingnew]

hey SL

good to hear your getting out and making friends too. not easy with mh. i hope you sleep better tonight and wake abit more refreshed. hope your visit with your fried goes well tomorrow too

hugs xoxox

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi,

Im really hoping that headache of yours has choofed off and is leaving you alone, if you think from playing game cool damp cloth as well as otc pain relief honey..

The lime in the water is collected from the soil we don't have a water treatment plant for the town water, we just have a filter system for the town water to remove the heavier soil particles etc, the minerals collected from the soil from travelling from the river to the homes stay in the water..that's why it's got so much lime in it..our water is what's called hard water...

Im happy that you went to your mh group today, it's an out for you and amongst people helps you..well done sweetheart, 😚 I'm proud of you...Friends outing tomorrow, I hope your okay for that and you enjoy yourself...I'm really and really wishing you so much good wishes ☄️💥for your tt this week..whooppie I know it means so much to you...

Deebi, sweetheart, you really need to do the excersises for your archillies, Please..Deebi please try to remember to do them...

Good girl doing the job you have put off for ages...You deserve a lovely yummy piece of cake 🎂 and a ☕️..

Big 💜 and 🤗 Deebi...

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy.

[Guest8901]

Dear DB,

Damn that headache! Hope its resolved by now.

Gosh Deebs those bedsocks you made Grandy sound good. Can I put an order in for me next time you have a spare few minutes? In purple or mauve colours would be lovely. They would match my soft purple dressing gown. Its only 8.30pm, but I'm already all snuggled into my dressing gown. We have had decent frosts here the past two mornings. Quite rare for here. But some bed socks would be fab.

I'm glad to hear that you managed to get to your MH group today, despite the major effort it took. Proud of you for that.

I hope the catch up with your friend tomorrow is good. And wow ... back to playing table tennis! Very good. Hope the arm, shoulder and archilles all hold up okay. Suggest you take things a bit easy first time back.

Thanks for your lovely posts to my thread the past week or so. Always so supportive complimented by honest, practical and sensible advice.

Love you my beautiful friend.

Mandy 🌺

[demonblaster]

Thanks SLD (( xx ))

Hate being so tired as you'd know it makes life so much harder.
Hold in there darling glad to hear you're in less pain with your hand.
Yeah there's some friends that let's say you can talk a bit about MH and others not so much I'm learning. Mostly ok. Easier when it's people in the groups, they get it without ..yeah that'll do 🙂
Go easy as much as you can.

Grandy Hey lovey yeah happy but it seems so common anything I go to do on PC takes an age, computer literate people would have it done in half or less the time. It's ok but I know now why I put the job off it's taken about 4 hrs for one thing but at least that's done, the other part I"m waiting to hear back. Rarely runs smoothly but have to suss it all out and compare prices etc for tt.

Too tired to be stoked that it's done 🙂 but it is an achieve and been working a couple of mths on another jobby. Pushing through the non motivation. Sloooowwwwlllly

Yes I really need to do these excercises. Tomoz, just need some downtime now.

Thanks lovey you're a sweety, re tt I'm not in the right mood particularly, not cranky just trying to get over this rot but have been sooo guilty which I try not to allow that feeling and it's been MH but more physical stopping me. Been mths now. So as long as certain ones behave and I'll be saying to them if they don't. I've let a lot ride so behave boys. Other words I'd prefer but lady Deebi seems to have popped in for a bit

This friend is a biggly love. (tt friend)

Thanks hun loven the cake and coffee (( L&C )) always

Checking on you at yours then choofing.

[Ggrand]

Good Night Deebi,

Look into my 👀 eyes..

I'm going to put you to sleep, sweet Deebi...Now let's see what I have here..in my 💼....🥇...Ok now concerntrate on the golden shiny thingy Deebi, I'm swaying it back and forward, now keep your 👀 on it..You are getting sleepy...so sleepy...your eyes 👀 are so heavy....Wait ..awe Deebi...your not suppose to laugh 😂..ok um maybe ...💼...💫..now let's start again...look at the shiny star..💫....While I Gentle rock it back and forwards..good girl...you are getting sleepy, 😵sleepy....oh so very sleepy...😵..your eyes are getting really heavy..s💫So very heavy..heavier..and heavier..💫..you are now asleep...😴...my special friend...and you will sleep a deep 10 hour healing sleep..💫🥇..you'll dream of fun happy times..👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹🌈🔥🎉🛴🛵..💜🤗🔥..and wake up with a beautiful sense of peace 🕊 In your heart and soul...

Good Night Lovely beautiful friend...

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

[Peppermintbach]

Hi DB and a wave to all,

What an intense time you’ve been having. The downs you had sound very bleak and isolating...in a way, I suppose maybe the mania was more manageable as it lasted a shorter period this time.

It’s great that you’re starting to get back into your social life though m. It must have been nice to meet some new people at your MH group plus I suppose there’s comfort there because there’s that mutual understanding...

I think it’s more than okay if you’re not in the mood for table tennis. I know you used to speak very fondly of the people there but perhaps now just isn’t the time for it.

Lol. Thanks for making me smile with the empty 🎁

Super soul hugs and much love,

Pepstar xoxo

[demonblaster]

😴oh hi Grandy 😰 that's a yawn, wow you are good 😆 oh loven your work 😀🤗..always lovely. 😄 shiny thingy and a star. You're SO special yourself don't cha know. Thank you always for your 🦄 in every way 😚

Good day another friend last minute & her friend. Timing cause had time with tt love first then the others came so we all had about 20 mins then bit more with others.

Slept for about 3.5 hrs earlyish bed tonight, maybe 3/4 more days lot of sleep should be caught up. Then I'll go off my last pill. Have more strength if a mania comes on. Must make GP app. Oops. Might not get in this wk.

🤕hanging around had a med and probs one soon, not too savage.

Surprisingly atm anyway not overly down but thinking a lot about some news I heard about someone I use to see over the yrs at times sporadically due to $ who I have a lot of respect for. When I can I'll at least see them again to clear the air which could go any direction. I'd like to hear their side too. Tricky, I trust both sides.They were away I think for a while. Needs to be done in an adult way, no agro I'm hoping. Not stoked but see what happens. I pulled away cause of financial mostly but yeah things to discuss. Was going to at some point.

Grandy darling friend I'll jump on Golden 🦄 🛴 to yours. Be there before I finish the sentence 🔥🤗

Peps me lovely Hi 😀

Yes darl it's all very full on and as you know depression at any levels bad news but great knowing it can be managed and Learning new coping strats.

That's right although better if it was the downs shorter and mania longer. I've heard the higher you go the harder you down which makes sense but for me anyway they've usually been consistent regardless on downs in severity.This one included. Those Black times phoo

Social life again thanks to you beauts, I'd coccooned although was doing bits, now more.

Thanks ☺ tt I feel I obliged and want to. There's a new bloke who I hears quite good too. Boomer

☺ nice making people smile and happy, it'll have something in it later. Suspense 🎵do do doo do🎵🎁

Hope your studio eventuates. Aiming to pop into yours in the next few days. I know you don't wanna chat, same as Mandy just to leave a note ☺

Supers back atcha huns 🤗 always my impressive apprentice.

Thanks lovely friends ☺😚🤗

[demonblaster]

Hey darlin always lovely seeing you

Be a pleasure to whip up some bedsocks. Purples and mauve it is,Might do Grandy some as well she likes Purples too, One of the top fave colours apparently.

So glad this didn't drop on my head 😅.

Thanks for dropping by and for your support. Struggles 😢 atm hun, I'll get through, starting to now.

🤗💜

[Ggrand]

Hello Sweet Deebi,
It really warmed my heart when I heard that you spent time with your lovelies at your tt...I could imagine how much they missed you, as you missed them I'm sure....I'm off my meds now, came off a bit to fast and having a lot of problems,..but..it's okay..Please be very careful coming of meds, it really plays around with our minds....

Ohh Deebi, what am I going to do with you..Please make an appointment with your gp asap. Please look after you...Did you exercise your archillies today?

With your friends Deebi, the ones that need some issues addressing..If it needs talking out between you all. maybe sit down at a cafe with a nice cuppa and relax and talk it out..in a public place maybe things easier to discuss...
It's okay honey, you rest up, I'll come to yours if that's okay..

Oh sorry honey forgot to ask..How is your poor head going?..Geez I hope it's gone or at least easing off...I've got some lovely Lavender candles, we can light them in you bedroom while you lay down and settle in for sleep, I'll sit with you and hold your hand throughout the night, and wipe away any tears that fall through the night...I'm not going anywhere..I'll choof that headache off if it comes near you while your asleep lovely lady.....👀, &, 🤝 always..

Deebi...

There's a miracle called friendship
That dwells within our heart,
And you don't know how it happens
Or even when it starts.
But the happiness that it brings us
Always gives a special lift.
And you realise that friendship,
In life really is a special gift......Love you Deebi,,💜

Please be okay.....

Good Night Sweet Deebi....., I really hope you sleep well and peacefully.....That goes for all the wonderful people reading this...

Love and hugs..🤗💜🌹..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy🕊👼...