Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[demonblaster]

Heya Grandy 😄 bumma no emojis on PC

:D so glad you like the poem

Extra thoughts today (( Hugs xx )) I'm with you and so is your army 🙂

Just been fb school friend, one of the goods about fb you can chat to multiple at once, one time in mania on messenger I was Zoom Zooming with 4, too easy in mania lol Do you have mania or just 😞 (sad) the downs?

Hope your days bearable sweet, think about our friendship and here and all the lovelies and Weetbix tree stars Rainbows Purple flowers, Purple stars Purple Weet bix ya get the gist 🙂
And ya know you could pop into our fantasy escapes now. Seriously you're VERY good at them

Yes no problem question away for sure. God knows I do 🙂

Thanks lovey sorry forgot to answer you but I did Mandy, arms improving Phew but still very much there, just praying it doesn't flare again, won't be because of anything I do.Little ouchy on PC here but was when I woke up but not needing anything. Thanks for asking and remembering Doc treasure oh you're so sweet I'll introduce you LOL ... might have trouble convincing him not to give me one of those pwetty White jackets with the arms round the wrong way, wouldn't you think they'd fix that.. Rolling eye emote

Going to cheat again. Copying if it works 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🐘🦄👼😍 YESSIM. Takes me ages to find emojis and emotes if they're not in the first part where it saves the recently used, starting to get the swing of it.

💜💜💜🦄🤗🤗🤗🐘. My special friend, I'm holding your hand.
you too treasure.

[Guest_1055]

😊

[Just Sara]

Dear Deebee Chooky; (Ha! Love that)

Hit me with your rhythm stick! Hit meh, hit meh! Ha ha ha

I was thinking of 'hit me with your chemical questions' and those words just rang out in my brain. Shaking my head...

I'm a mental case for sure! It goes with the territory yeah?

Whatever you need just ask ok. I'm open to it and will do what I can to give you a piece of my mind. 😎

Cheers cyber pal!

Sez xo

[demonblaster]

Heya Chooky nice seeing you

Smiling and laughing at entire post loved it...now I'm gunna be singing rythym stick lol

Thanks heaps yes I'll wobble over sometime for you to give me a piece of your mind.Priceless chooks

I like Chick too. Hi chick and a few say it here. Chooky's reasonably unique and most love it except a good friend one day had an attitude that konked badly for her when I said it to a chooky. I said calmly there's no harm in it and chooky strongly backed me and friends daughter. Phew don't wanna offend people.

Rate ya cyber pal 🙂 (don't think you're a hugger? forgive if I ask thousand times 😄
Parteee at Mandys today/night if you don't mind telling CC's when you see them please lovey all welcome it'll be fun promise

[demonblaster]

ARM!! Again thanks so much for all your support and know I've been raving on, it's just as we know any pain's consuming, here's been a great outlet and your supports magic. Hugz
Unless it's caning like now damn simply using PC's aggravating so tablet later. Quicker here but haven't got emojis 😞 = sad.
DR lovely absolute gem can't speak highly enough ticks all boxes.
Soz some have asked ?'s and I forget to reply working on improves. He's reluctant to give out these heavies full stop that I respect him for unless it's necessary which I need for back outs and this nerve pain. Another specifically for nerve didn't touch it really and even these at times don't have much affect either but mostly do.
Can take around 7/8 mths to recover from bulging discs depending on flare ups PHEW the worst is usually the first time and that was 15 out of 10. I think hard so to be accurate on pain scale, the back outs are easy 10's mostly sometimes more. Same bulging discs.
So it seems as long as I do nothing it settles and I mean nothing just sit in chair. So I can't see this settling till at least 3 mths, going on 5 wks so far and initially did it 8 mths ago so this is 4th bout and flare ups will probs start again with recovery time. At least doesn't hurt all time. From now I'll try to talk less on it. HA yeah

Happies Couple of good deeds nice feeling helping someone, I did ask for payment they laughed and kept walking, how rude of them 😉 opened door for wheelchair in Docs, the man helping was doing the slight step the hard way, said gently I was a nurse and suggested an easier way which worked taking the lady backwards rather than forward, risk of her falling and him losing control of the chair. Was when I opened the door they said thankyou that I said that's OK I do charge a small amount.

A bloke he'd be about in his early 40's we LOL joked pretty much 20 mins, as we got talking more shaking head ohhh sad as, the little boy about 5 and his wife's going to pass soon, second time for him. Cancer. He was soo grateful for the laughs the stress is mega, geez we clicked, wicked humor he has and we just kept rolling.

I like to chat as we know please don't say that cause laters. Laughs with receptionist and chats with an elderly man. Kills time and nice connecting.

That's all folks

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi,🦄.

Thank you for staying with me..

Im fine Deebi...Not mania.....just this deepness been living in now near a month now...

Your arm still hurting you big time..

ok 7-8 months to heal from a bulging disc,,You need to give yourself on going Care, for 7/8 months..I will be here to make sure you are a good girl 😁 and do as dr tells you..I am ..Lets say 7/8 months from now..not from 9weeks ago..Already you are being a little naughty and looking at ways to reduce the amount of self care you need to give yourself..

Deebi..., little ouchy on PC..that's a no no.. brought on pain by doing something I think is doing more damage, because pain comes.. not sure here, but better safe then sorry hun..

You can copy all you want from my threads..

I just read on Amanda's thread, you starting up the Weetbix Willow Party House Thread.....,What a lovely idea....I hope it succeeds, ❤️💜.

💜💜💜🦄🤗🤗🤗🐘 Love you Deebi 🐘

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 Grandy 👼.l

[Peppermintbach]

Hi wonderful DB,

You can talk about your arm as much as you like. Sometimes it’s healthy to do a bit of venting...

Ooh...I cringe thinking about your pain. It sounds brutal especially with the whole interconnection between our physical and mental pain thing...

I love your spirit and how that big heart of yours still shines. You have clearly been spreading cheer and joy from said big heart 🙂

It sounds like you helped make quite a few people’s day especially the man with the sick wife. Poor guy...I’m glad you were able to life his mood a little. He clearly needed a few laughs.

I’m still not sure what happened with the offline situation/incident you were referring to yesterday but I’m glad things seem to have settled. But please feel free to correct me if I’ve missed or misinterpreted something.

Lots of Super soul hugs for today and the weekend. I’ll talk to you after the weekend ❤️

Love,

Pepper xoxo

[startingnew]

DB- just be careful with your heart ok xo
im glad you went to your gp today and things went well but not soo good on the way you have to recover. Try to take it easy though thats a long time to sit in a chair. you might need to find some activities to do while sitting and relaxing- maybe croqueting or patchwork?

I loved hearing about your good deeds for people today. Gives us that warm feeling doesnt it.

and thanks for what you wrote to me too xoxo

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Deebi,

Im just calling in to remind you that you have to take care of your disc, so please no hard dancing 💃🏻 or no heavy lifting, look after yourself please Deebi, have a great time tonight..I put a little story into you Party 🎉 function centre, 

If okay I will rest tonight,,I'm going in for a bath now...ahh no.... can't be bothered..maybe a cuppa tea. Then we'll see where I end up...

Love you Deebi, and so excited for you with your new Party Thread...🔮 My crystal ball tells me it will be a success..

As hard as it try to sleep in the recliner for a while, Your 👨🏻‍⚕️ dr, said healing takes 7/8  months.  please don't be stubborn  and I know you are, but please not with your health....I hope tomorrow is a little better then yesterday ..

Deeb,🦄. Holding on honey, not letting go,..Thank you for you time.. you are a kind considerate compassionate lovely beautiful caring lady xx

Thank you for you, but to answer this post to me please 🚫.because this is about you and your kindness. 🔮

💜💜💜🦄🤗🤗🤗🐘,

Love you deeply 🍯..

💜💜💜🦄🤗🤗🤗 🐘 oh and Deebi, I'm 👀 to make sure your a good girl tonight xx

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 Grandy👼 

[PamelaR]

Hiya Deebi

The pain sounds excruciating. Bulging discs are so painful. My husband has had a few in his life. It can be so debilitating.

Thinking soulful thoughts for you Deebi. You are magic and give so much of yourself to people on BB. I can only imagine you have done that in your life.

I'm so glad you have Grandy sit with you at night. I know it doesn't take the pain away, but maybe it helps it to be a little more bearable??

You are in my thoughts dear Deebi. Holding tight.

❤️❤️🐝🦋🤗❤️❤️🐝🦋🤗

PamelaR