Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[demonblaster]

😄 re the penguins from you both. 

[Croix]

Who am I to gainsay David Rabbitborough.

-C

[mmMekitty]

What about David Bunnimy?🐇

How are you, DB?

☮️I have the Peace symbol with the purple background back again! 😺(because the BB

has the emojis up there on top of the text box. 

mmMekitty🐈

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Croix, mmMeKitty, Paws, Hanna and everyone....🤗.

Just calling in to see if you’re doing okay, and to let you know....very gently that I’m always here for you bbff....as I’m sure your other beautiful supporters here are also....

Please take very good care of you....

Sending you along our golden thread...my deep love, care and many hugs..💙💙🦋🧸🤗🦄👼.

My love and hugs everyone..

Grandy👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

[ecomama]

Hey DB, Grandy, Croix, meKitty, Monkey and all! 

I'd posted here and now I can't find my post omg lol. Bit of a mess... 

I hope you and all your lovely friends are doing well. 

Sending lots of love and healing thoughts, 
EM

[demonblaster]

Hey Pawsy 🐾 👩‍❤️‍👩🐺🐧 and everyone thank you dear friends 🤗

Before I start on blaghh stuff loven the 🐧 banter 😄

Grandy for your beautiful caring post 👩‍❤️‍👩💜 they always are. This was re pea and ham soup isnt it delish. Yummo we ate it up in no time. I'll see how we're going to make a batch too. Nice and thick but runny is yum too. Given me a v.good idea for something coming up when I get the details soon hoping,

Pawsy thanks lovey how gorgeous of Woofa to share his 🍫choccy bone 😆 I made sure I ate it up a very high tree in case he changed his mind. Unsure how I got up there pretty fast too, maybe the lure of the 🍫 but mighty sure I won't be getting down anytime this century by myself... Um...📞...yes fire brigade please...no no not a 😸 Puddytat., up the tree...it's me 😶 

Always deeply appreciate you Pawsy, hope you're going ok. 

While I think of it and with troubles here navigating still, there's a super strong looking kinda adhesive tape advertised on tv lately if the plumbings still an issue. The bloke on the ad uses we think a tank gushing water and this tape stops it. Maybe same stuff on a boat too. Heavens knows cost but might be viable if its not fixed yet hope its sorted ☺🤗💗

🐺 Kitty a big thank you too you too huns for your zany banter care and help you give many including moi 🤗 safe virtual hugs. 

Yes my emojis above are still same as jumpy jumpy texting here in the box, they completely disappear.  Might be easier near future. New things should make it easier, They're doing their best I know.

Croixy man dear friend it's always lifting seeing you too ☺ and don't you worry about your little 🎵achy breaky heart🎶 I have a nice supply of penguins  🍍that 🐧 love so they'll beee backkk.  

Soz Kitty if that strike through the word made it hard to read. Is that sorted yet? 

No idea if Im over the limit and getting late now so bed soon. REALLY want to talk but better not to atm else it'll pull me down more. Will tho in near future. All sorts horribly bad mh going on but at least goods as well. Omg this is incredibly hard. 

Got picked for the BV event 😲 not going to let anyone down again. This is very important to succeed. Determined to not let beasty interfere with anxiety ? Failure. Sigh 😥

Thanks again 👩‍❤️‍👩💜🐧🐺

[demonblaster]

Hi there Eco thanks for popping by. 

I was pleased to see you again around the forums hope lifes being kind to you. 

Would've said Gidday but hard to catch the posts atm. 

Tc probs see you around well hope so anyhoo ☺

[demonblaster]

Btw (by the way) eco this might help for the time being till it's sorted re losing posts, Croixy too you mentioned probs losing one. 

It's quite a bit of fluffing around but at least a post can be regained. If you can find or remember who you were replying to tap/click reply. 

If it says you might lose auto saved etc tap cancel not ok or proceed whichever it says. 

Keep trying reply on other posts until the option comes up to load your saved post. 

Oops meant to be heading to bed but found myself reading back a few. 

Nigh nite lovelies ☺ 

Good dreams and good days to follow ☀️

👩‍❤️‍👩💜🗯💫

[mmMekitty]

Hi DB - for EM, look up there near the big Logo, & click/tap 'Your discussions'. 😸

Warmly to you all, 💖💖💖

mmMekitty

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩....

Just popping in to give you are very gentle and caring hug....Please do take good care of you and get plenty of rest and sleep if you need it....Beasty, cannot talk to you while you’re sleeping....hmmm well mostly not....

Congratulations for BV event...You will do wonderfully bbff...You have a strong want and passion to help people.....BB and BV is just the place to do that.....I have a lot of faith, and belief in you bbff....Keep your own faith and belief in you and beasty doesn’t stand a chance....You’re in control of you bbff...not beasty....

Thinking of you with lots of love, kindness, care and brought along a satchel of Hugs..💙🦋🌹🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..